My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work.

I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work.

No more brother war 🇭🇺🫱🏻‍🫲🏻🇷🇴

Thanks @Atomic_Rooster that's very diplomatic of you 🫡

Only on Netflix 🌚🍿

GM Chat, make sure you drink plenty of water today and everyday. If you can remineralize it then the better 🚰🥤

A Jew, an black and a white guy.

The black bends down to tie his $600 athletic shoe and notices a lamp under the bench.

He picks up the lamp, rubs it and out pops a genie. The genie says "l've been imprisoned for 2000 years, for my gratitude you each get a single wish".

The Jew says "I wish for my people to return to the promise land and live in the riches and harmony of the land like God intended" "poof" wish granted and he disappears.

The black turns and he says "My people were taken from their homes and brought to this distant land, wish for all my African brothers and sisters to return to Africa and bask in the glory of our homeland, to live in love and peace for all eternity" "poof" wish granted and he also disappears.

The white guy looks around. He looks at the genie and says "let me get this straight, all the Jews are in lsrael?" yes" the genie says "and all the blacks are all in Africa, you say?" "correct" states the genie... "GREAT, then I'll just have a diet coke".

Drunk guy getting beligerant at a bar.

The bartender says, "I'm not serving you any more. You've already had too much!"

The drunk begs, "Aw, c'mon! Just one drink!"

A sly look crosses the bartender's face and he points into the corner at the end of the bar. "I'll give you one drink, on the house, if you take a sip from that spittoon."

The drunk weighs the offer and finally, desperate for a drink, decides it's worth it. "Alright!" he says. "I'll do it."

He grabs the spittoon, tips it to his mouth.

Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. He drains the whole thing.

Disgusted, while he pours the drink, the bartender says, "I said you only had to take a sip, not drink the whole thing!"

The drunk wipes his mouth. "I couldn't help it. It was all one piece."

Good question.

JB weld for the win?

I would never do that to you Uncle Ben 🥺