That's a big fish

Y'all ready for the next Pandemic? 💊 👽👾

🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨 Santa has found out that the 👃🏻👃 put their candelabra celebration on Jesus's Birthday this year and has decided to get answers from the tiny hats.

Here's a video live from the scene, more news at 7.

Thought for the day: Tablets were replaced by scrolls, scrolls were replaced by books.
Now we scroll through books on tablets.

Awkward moment: When I was in college I worked as a TV repairman. We had people bring stuff in all the time, authorize repair and never come pick it up. So after 90 days we'd put your shit up for sale. One day a guy and his friend come in the shop with a claim ticket. Guy says he found it in an old pair of his jeans. The receptionist starts reading him the riot act about not picking his shit up and taunting him with "we sold that stereo a year ago". The guy didn't argue... he just moved to the door and as he walked out his friend said to him "man I never knew you'd have so many issues coming out of a coma". Dude had been involved in a motorcycle wreck and been in a coma for 6 months. When he woke up, it was several months before he could find the claim ticket for his stereo. The receptionist felt so bad about bitching at him that she gave him another stereo just to try to make it right.

My dad's noggin mamie told him why there are black and white people. When God created people, all were black. There was a pool that everyone to go to to wash the black off them and white people got there first. Black people showed up late and there was just an inch of water left so they could only wet the bottom of their feet and pat their hands in the water.

Oh Lawdy!! She got da Dia-beetus! "Chirp"

Another story for ya'll. Coworker moved from Johnsonburg PA to the paper mill in Vicksburg Mississippi. His kids had never seen a black person. He went to pick his oldest son up from elementary school and the teacher pulled him aside. She said that she had his boy on her lap reading to the class and he started stroking her forearm... he said to her "you mustve drank a lot of chocolate milk when you were a little girl".

Oh Canada! 💅🏻 🇨🇦🦄

🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨 Dark Brandon goes to Angola and takes a nap on African Leaders, asserting his dominance while they spew lies about finally making structures above 2 stories.

Hello Based Dept, this is Sleepy Joe speaking 🗣️ 😴