I was selfish for you...you were just selfish!

I hate you
For the days you rubbed your insecurities against me and made me feel small

I hate you
For the months you poured your sad self all over me and drowned me in tearful nights

I hate you
For the years you kept me close to you and suck out all the good in me knowing damn well it was killing me

I hate you for all the times you pretended to care, to love and used me and my love only to feel better about yourself.

And then

I love you for all the best you are, you give and could be. Because love transcends everything.

I hate that too!

እኔስ እድለኛ ጎብኝቶኛል ፍቅር

ይብላኝ እንጂ ለሱ ጨረቃውን ላጣ
ከዋክብት ሲቆጥር

It gets clearer by the day...

You only loved me, I was inlove with you.

If you lose interest in someone, respect them enough to let them go. Do not stay in their life and suck all their good traits, do not feed on their love, energy, kindness and loyalty just to not let your insecurities consume you. Let them go so they can pour all their goodness into someone else that values them.

Listen
They talk to everybody
They text other people
They call another person
They check on their friends
They spend time with someone else

As long as they do not go above and beyond for you,
As long as they do not put in effort, do not romanticize the bare minimum.

Do not settle for the basic!

Momma you were right, trying to find happiness where I lost it is a foolishness.

It's clear now

I want go!

I want to run to where nothing relates to you.

I want to start a new chapter where there are faces that look nothing like you.

I want to unfold and bloom where I don't have attachments to your existence.

I want to be present in life where nothing pokes my wounds and remind me of you, of us, of how we used to be, of what we could have been.

I want to leave!

I want to move to a place where you don't exist.

I want to live where I can't breathe the same air as yours.

I want to be where I can't walk on the same ground as yours.

I want to be where you're not around.

I just lost the few healthy tendons I had.

I been hurt, didn't I tell you that before?
You turned around and did that shit and even more

لقد طفح الكيل.
لا أريد هذه الحياة بعد الآن.
خذني بعيدا من فضلك.
لا أستطيع التظاهر بأنني سعيد بعد الآن.

Once in a while I stop pretending to be the happy person everyone thinks I am.

I stop pretending to be the girl who's got sunshine and rainbow in her world and just be me - numb and slightly suicidal then everybody keeps asking "What's wrong with you today?"

I don't know how to answer that without bursting into tears so I cover it up with my "I'm okay's" and come back the next day with my filters on.

Look at me, it's happy me...

I am here until I'm not anymore.
Read that again!

አበቃ - La Fin!

Your presence in the next few seconds, minutes, hours or days isn't guaranteed!

Say it Now, whatever it is you want to say!
Do it Now, whatever it is you want to do!

Before it's too late...Please...you don't have time.