"How to act:
Never under compulsion, out of selfishness, without forethought, with misgivings.
Don't gussy up your thoughts.
No surplus words or unnecessary actions.
Let the spirit in you represent a man, an adult, a citizen, a Roman, a ruler. Taking up his post like a soldier and patiently awaiting his recall from life. Needing no oath or no witness.
Cheerfulness. Without requiring other people's help. Or serenity supplied by others.
To stand up straight—not straightened."
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Never under compulsion, out of selfishness, without forethought, with misgivings.
Don't gussy up your thoughts.
No surplus words or unnecessary actions.
Let the spirit in you represent a man, an adult, a citizen, a Roman, a ruler. Taking up his post like a soldier and patiently awaiting his recall from life. Needing no oath or no witness.
Cheerfulness. Without requiring other people's help. Or serenity supplied by others.
To stand up straight—not straightened."
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
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"If, at some point in your life, you should come across anything better than justice, honesty, self-control, courage—than a mind satisfied that it has succeeded in enabling you to act rationally, and satisfied to accept what's beyond its control—if you find anything better than that, embrace it without any reservations—it must be an extraordinary thing indeed—and enjoy it to the full.
But if nothing presents itself that's superior to the spirit that lives within—the one that has subordinated individual desires to itself, that discriminates among impressions, that has broken free of physical temptations (as Socrates used to say), and subordinated itself to the gods, and looks out for human beings' welfare—if you find that there's nothing more important or valuable than that...
...then don't make room for anything but it—for anything that might lead you astray, tempt you off the road, and leave you unable to devote yourself completely to achieving the goodness that is uniquely yours. It would be wrong for anything to stand between you and attaining goodness—as a rational being and a citizen. Anything at all: the applause of the crowd, high office, wealth, or self indulgence. All of them might seem to be compatible with it—for a while. But suddenly they control us and sweep us away.
So make your choice straightforwardly, once and for all, and stick to it. Choose what's best.
—Best is what benefits me.
As a rational being? Then follow through. Or just as an animal? Then say so and stand your ground without making a show of it. (Just make sure you've done your homework first.)"
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
But if nothing presents itself that's superior to the spirit that lives within—the one that has subordinated individual desires to itself, that discriminates among impressions, that has broken free of physical temptations (as Socrates used to say), and subordinated itself to the gods, and looks out for human beings' welfare—if you find that there's nothing more important or valuable than that...
...then don't make room for anything but it—for anything that might lead you astray, tempt you off the road, and leave you unable to devote yourself completely to achieving the goodness that is uniquely yours. It would be wrong for anything to stand between you and attaining goodness—as a rational being and a citizen. Anything at all: the applause of the crowd, high office, wealth, or self indulgence. All of them might seem to be compatible with it—for a while. But suddenly they control us and sweep us away.
So make your choice straightforwardly, once and for all, and stick to it. Choose what's best.
—Best is what benefits me.
As a rational being? Then follow through. Or just as an animal? Then say so and stand your ground without making a show of it. (Just make sure you've done your homework first.)"
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
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"Never regard something as doing you good if it makes you betray a trust, or lose your sense of shame, or makes you show hatred, suspicion, ill will, or hypocrisy, or desire for things best done behind closed doors. If you can privilege your own mind, your guiding spirit and your reverence for its powers, that should keep you clear of dramatics, of wailing and gnashing of teeth. You won't need solitude—or a cast of thousands, either. Above all you'll be free of fear and desire. And how long your body will contain the soul that inhibits it will cause you not a moment's worry. If it's time for you to go, leave willingly—as you would to accomplish anything that can be done with grace and honor. And concentrate on this, your whole life long: for your mind to be in the right state—the state a rational, civic mind should be in."
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
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"The mind of one set straight and purified: no pus, no dirt, no scabs.
And not a life cut short by death, like an actor who stops before the play is done, the plot wound up.
Neither servility nor arrogance. Neither cringing nor disdain. Neither excuses nor evasions."
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
And not a life cut short by death, like an actor who stops before the play is done, the plot wound up.
Neither servility nor arrogance. Neither cringing nor disdain. Neither excuses nor evasions."
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
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"Your ability to control your thoughts—treat it with respect. It's all that protects your mind from false perceptions—false to your nature, and that of all rational beings. It's what makes thoughtfulness possible, and affection for other people, and submission to the divine."
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
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"Forget everything else. Keep hold of this alone and remember it: Each of us lives only now, this brief instant. The rest has been lived already, or is impossible to see. The span we live is small—small as the corner of the earth in which we live it. Small as even the greatest renown, passed from mouth to mouth by short-lived stick figures, ignorant alike of themselves and these long dead."
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
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Know What You Can Control And What You Can't
Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and what you can't control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible.
Within our countrol are our own opinions, aspirations, desires and the things that repel us. These areas are quite rightly our concern, because they are directly subject to our influence. We always have a choice about the contents and character of our inner lives.
Outside our control, however, are such things as what kind of body we have, weather we're born in to wealth or strike it rich, how we are regarded by others, and our status in society. We must remember that those things are externals and are therefore not our concern. Trying to control or change what we can't only results in torment.
Remember: the things within our power are naturally at our disposal, free from any restraint or hindrance; but those things outside our power are weak, dependant, or determined by whims and actions of others. Remember, too, that if you think that you have free rein over things that are naturally beyond your control or if you attempt to adopt the affairs of others as your own, your pursuits will be thwarted and you will become a frustrated, anxious and falut-finding person.
- A Manual for Living by Epictetus
Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and what you can't control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible.
Within our countrol are our own opinions, aspirations, desires and the things that repel us. These areas are quite rightly our concern, because they are directly subject to our influence. We always have a choice about the contents and character of our inner lives.
Outside our control, however, are such things as what kind of body we have, weather we're born in to wealth or strike it rich, how we are regarded by others, and our status in society. We must remember that those things are externals and are therefore not our concern. Trying to control or change what we can't only results in torment.
Remember: the things within our power are naturally at our disposal, free from any restraint or hindrance; but those things outside our power are weak, dependant, or determined by whims and actions of others. Remember, too, that if you think that you have free rein over things that are naturally beyond your control or if you attempt to adopt the affairs of others as your own, your pursuits will be thwarted and you will become a frustrated, anxious and falut-finding person.
- A Manual for Living by Epictetus
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Stick With Your Own Business
Keep your attention focused entirely on what is truly your own concern and be clear that what belongs to others is their business and none of yours. If you do this, you will be impervious to coercion and no one can ever hold you back. You will be truly free and effective, for your efforts will be put to good use and won't be foolishly squandered finding fault with or opposing others.
In knowing and attending to what actually concerns you, you cannot be made to do anything against your will; others can't hurt you, you don't incur enemies or suffer them.
If you aim to live by such principles, remember that it won't be easy: you must give up some things entirely, and postpone others for now. You may well have to forego wealth and power if you want to assure the attainment of happiness and freedoms.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
Keep your attention focused entirely on what is truly your own concern and be clear that what belongs to others is their business and none of yours. If you do this, you will be impervious to coercion and no one can ever hold you back. You will be truly free and effective, for your efforts will be put to good use and won't be foolishly squandered finding fault with or opposing others.
In knowing and attending to what actually concerns you, you cannot be made to do anything against your will; others can't hurt you, you don't incur enemies or suffer them.
If you aim to live by such principles, remember that it won't be easy: you must give up some things entirely, and postpone others for now. You may well have to forego wealth and power if you want to assure the attainment of happiness and freedoms.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
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Recongnize Mere Appearances for What They Are
From now on practice saying to everything that appears unpleasant: "You are just an appearance and by no means what you appear to be." And then thoroughly consider the matter according to the principles just discussed, primarily: does this appearance concern the things that are within my own control or those that are not? If it concerns anything outside your control, train yourself not to worry about it.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
From now on practice saying to everything that appears unpleasant: "You are just an appearance and by no means what you appear to be." And then thoroughly consider the matter according to the principles just discussed, primarily: does this appearance concern the things that are within my own control or those that are not? If it concerns anything outside your control, train yourself not to worry about it.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
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Desire Demands Its Own Attainment
Our desires and aversions are mercurial rulers. They demand to be pleased. Desire commands us to run off and get what we want. Aversion insists that we must avoid the things that repel us.
Typically, when we don't get what we want, we are disappointed and when we get what we don't want, we are distressed.
If, then, you avoid only those undesirable things that are contrary to your natural well-being and are within your control, you won't ever incur anything you truly don't want. However, if you try to avoid common inevitabilities such as sickness, death, or misfortune, over which you have no real control, you will make yourself and others around you suffer.
Desire and aversion, though powerful, are but habits. And we can train ourselves to have better habits. Restrain the habit of being repelled by all those things that aren't within your control, and focus instead of combating things within your power that are not good for you.
Do your best to rein in your desire. For if you desire something that isn't within your own control, disappointment will surely follow; meanwhile, you will be neglecting the very things that are within your control that are worthy of desire.
Of course, there are times for practical reasons you must go after one thing or shun another, but do so with grace, finesse, and flexibility.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
Our desires and aversions are mercurial rulers. They demand to be pleased. Desire commands us to run off and get what we want. Aversion insists that we must avoid the things that repel us.
Typically, when we don't get what we want, we are disappointed and when we get what we don't want, we are distressed.
If, then, you avoid only those undesirable things that are contrary to your natural well-being and are within your control, you won't ever incur anything you truly don't want. However, if you try to avoid common inevitabilities such as sickness, death, or misfortune, over which you have no real control, you will make yourself and others around you suffer.
Desire and aversion, though powerful, are but habits. And we can train ourselves to have better habits. Restrain the habit of being repelled by all those things that aren't within your control, and focus instead of combating things within your power that are not good for you.
Do your best to rein in your desire. For if you desire something that isn't within your own control, disappointment will surely follow; meanwhile, you will be neglecting the very things that are within your control that are worthy of desire.
Of course, there are times for practical reasons you must go after one thing or shun another, but do so with grace, finesse, and flexibility.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
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See Things for What They Really Are
Circumstances do not rise to meet our expectations. Events happen as they do. People behave as they are. Embrace what you actually get.
Open your eyes: see things for what they really are, thereby sparing yourself the pain of false attachments and avoidable devastation.
Think about what delights you—the tools on which you depend, the people whom you cherish. But remember that they have their own distinct character, which is quite a separate matter from how we happen to regard them.
As an excercise, consider the smallest things to which you are attached. For instance, suppose you have a favourite cup. It is, after all, merely a cup, so if it should break, you could cope. Next build up to things—or people—toward which your clinging feelings and thoughts intensify.
Remember, for example, when you embrace your child, your husband, your wife, you are embracing a mortal. Thus, if one of them should die, you could bear it with tranquility.
When something happens, the only thing in your power is your attitude toward it; you can either accept it or resent it.
What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them. It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance.
Stop scaring yourself with impetuous notions, with your reactive impressions of the way things are!
Things and people are not what we wish them to be or what they seem to be. They are what they are.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
Circumstances do not rise to meet our expectations. Events happen as they do. People behave as they are. Embrace what you actually get.
Open your eyes: see things for what they really are, thereby sparing yourself the pain of false attachments and avoidable devastation.
Think about what delights you—the tools on which you depend, the people whom you cherish. But remember that they have their own distinct character, which is quite a separate matter from how we happen to regard them.
As an excercise, consider the smallest things to which you are attached. For instance, suppose you have a favourite cup. It is, after all, merely a cup, so if it should break, you could cope. Next build up to things—or people—toward which your clinging feelings and thoughts intensify.
Remember, for example, when you embrace your child, your husband, your wife, you are embracing a mortal. Thus, if one of them should die, you could bear it with tranquility.
When something happens, the only thing in your power is your attitude toward it; you can either accept it or resent it.
What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them. It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance.
Stop scaring yourself with impetuous notions, with your reactive impressions of the way things are!
Things and people are not what we wish them to be or what they seem to be. They are what they are.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
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Harmonize Your Actions with the Way Life Really Is
Don't try to make your own rules.
Conduct yourself in all matters, grand and public or small and domestic, in accordance with the laws of nature. Hoarmonizing your will with the nature should be your utmost ideal.
Where do you practice this ideal? In the particulars of your own daily life with its uniquely personal tasks and duties. When you carry out your tasks, such as taking a bath, do so, to the best of your ability, in harmony with nature. When you eat, do so, to the best of your ability, in harmony with nature, and so on.
It is not so much what you are doing as how you are doing it. When we properly understand and live by this principle, while difficulties will arise—for they are part of the divine order too—inner peace will still be possible.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
Don't try to make your own rules.
Conduct yourself in all matters, grand and public or small and domestic, in accordance with the laws of nature. Hoarmonizing your will with the nature should be your utmost ideal.
Where do you practice this ideal? In the particulars of your own daily life with its uniquely personal tasks and duties. When you carry out your tasks, such as taking a bath, do so, to the best of your ability, in harmony with nature. When you eat, do so, to the best of your ability, in harmony with nature, and so on.
It is not so much what you are doing as how you are doing it. When we properly understand and live by this principle, while difficulties will arise—for they are part of the divine order too—inner peace will still be possible.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
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Events Don't Hurt Us, But Our Views of Them Can
Things themselves don't hurt or hinder us. Nor do other people. How we view these things is another matter. It is our attitudes and reactions that give us trouble.
Therefore, even death is no big deal in and of itself. It is our notion of death, our idea that it is terrible, that terrifes us. There are so many different ways to think about death. Scrutinize your notions about death—and everything else. Are they really true? Are they doing you any good? Don't dread death or pain; dread the fear of death or pain.
We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
Things themselves don't hurt or hinder us. Nor do other people. How we view these things is another matter. It is our attitudes and reactions that give us trouble.
Therefore, even death is no big deal in and of itself. It is our notion of death, our idea that it is terrible, that terrifes us. There are so many different ways to think about death. Scrutinize your notions about death—and everything else. Are they really true? Are they doing you any good? Don't dread death or pain; dread the fear of death or pain.
We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
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No Shame, No Blame
If it is our feelings about things that torment us rather
than the things themselves, it follows that blaming
others is silly. Therefore, when we suffer setbacks,
disturbances or grief, let us never place the blame
on others, but on our own attitudes.
Small-minded people habitually reproach others for their own misfortunes. Average people reproach themselves. Those who are dedicated to a life
of wisdom understand that the impulse to blame something or someone is foolishness, that there is nothing to be gained in blaming, whether it be others or oneself.
One of the signs of the dawning of moral progress is the gradual extinguishing of blame. We see the futility of fnger-pointing. The more we examine our attitudes and work on ourselves, the less we are apt
to be swept away by stormy emotional reactionsim which we seek easy explanations for unbidden events.
Things simply are what they are. Other people think what they will think; it is of no concern to us. No Shame. No Blame.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
If it is our feelings about things that torment us rather
than the things themselves, it follows that blaming
others is silly. Therefore, when we suffer setbacks,
disturbances or grief, let us never place the blame
on others, but on our own attitudes.
Small-minded people habitually reproach others for their own misfortunes. Average people reproach themselves. Those who are dedicated to a life
of wisdom understand that the impulse to blame something or someone is foolishness, that there is nothing to be gained in blaming, whether it be others or oneself.
One of the signs of the dawning of moral progress is the gradual extinguishing of blame. We see the futility of fnger-pointing. The more we examine our attitudes and work on ourselves, the less we are apt
to be swept away by stormy emotional reactionsim which we seek easy explanations for unbidden events.
Things simply are what they are. Other people think what they will think; it is of no concern to us. No Shame. No Blame.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
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Create Your Own Merit
Never depend on the admiration of others. There is
no strength in it. Personal merit cannot be derived from an external source. It is not to be found in your personal associations. nor can it be found in the regard of other people. It is a fact of life that other people, even people who love you, will not necessarily agree with your ideas, understand you, or
share your enthusiasms. Grow up! Who cares what
other people think about you!
Create your own merit.
Personal merit cannot be achieved through our associations with people of excellence. You have
been given your own work to do. Get to it right now, do your best at it, and don't be concerned with who is watching you.
Do your own useful work without regard to the honor or admiration your efforts might win from others. There is no such thing as vicarious merit.
Other people's triumphs and excellences belong to them. Likewise your possessions may have excellence, but you yourself don't derive excellence
from them.
Think about it: what is really your own? The use you make of the ideas, resources, and opportunities that come your way. Do you have books? Read them. Learn from them. Apply their wisdom. Do you have
Specialized knowledge? Put it to its full and good use. Do you have tools? Get them out and build or repair things with them. Do you have a good idea? Follow up and follow through on it. Make the most of what you've got, what is actually yours.
You can be justifiably happy with yoursell and nature by recognizing what truly is your own.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
Never depend on the admiration of others. There is
no strength in it. Personal merit cannot be derived from an external source. It is not to be found in your personal associations. nor can it be found in the regard of other people. It is a fact of life that other people, even people who love you, will not necessarily agree with your ideas, understand you, or
share your enthusiasms. Grow up! Who cares what
other people think about you!
Create your own merit.
Personal merit cannot be achieved through our associations with people of excellence. You have
been given your own work to do. Get to it right now, do your best at it, and don't be concerned with who is watching you.
Do your own useful work without regard to the honor or admiration your efforts might win from others. There is no such thing as vicarious merit.
Other people's triumphs and excellences belong to them. Likewise your possessions may have excellence, but you yourself don't derive excellence
from them.
Think about it: what is really your own? The use you make of the ideas, resources, and opportunities that come your way. Do you have books? Read them. Learn from them. Apply their wisdom. Do you have
Specialized knowledge? Put it to its full and good use. Do you have tools? Get them out and build or repair things with them. Do you have a good idea? Follow up and follow through on it. Make the most of what you've got, what is actually yours.
You can be justifiably happy with yoursell and nature by recognizing what truly is your own.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
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Focus on Your Main Duty
There is a time and place for diversion and amusements, but you should never allow them to override your true purposes. If you were on a voyage and the ship anchored in a harbor, you might go ashore for water and happen to pick up a shellfish or a plant. But be careful; listen for the call of the captain. Keep your attention directed at the ship. Getting distracted by trifles is the easiest thing in the world. Should the captain call, you must be ready to leave those distractions and come running without even looking back.
If you are old, do not go far from the ship or you might fail to appear when you are called for.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
There is a time and place for diversion and amusements, but you should never allow them to override your true purposes. If you were on a voyage and the ship anchored in a harbor, you might go ashore for water and happen to pick up a shellfish or a plant. But be careful; listen for the call of the captain. Keep your attention directed at the ship. Getting distracted by trifles is the easiest thing in the world. Should the captain call, you must be ready to leave those distractions and come running without even looking back.
If you are old, do not go far from the ship or you might fail to appear when you are called for.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
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Quietly Accept Events As They Occur
Don't demand that events happen as you would wish them to. Accept Events as they actually happen. That way peace is possible.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
Don't demand that events happen as you would wish them to. Accept Events as they actually happen. That way peace is possible.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
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Your Will Is Always Within Your Power
Nothing truly stops you. Nothing truly holds you back, for your own will is always within your control. Sickness may challange your body. But are you merely your body?
Lameness may impede your legs. But you are not merely your legs. Your Will is bigger than your legs. Your Will needn't be affected by an incident unless you let it. Remember this with everything that happens to you.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
Nothing truly stops you. Nothing truly holds you back, for your own will is always within your control. Sickness may challange your body. But are you merely your body?
Lameness may impede your legs. But you are not merely your legs. Your Will is bigger than your legs. Your Will needn't be affected by an incident unless you let it. Remember this with everything that happens to you.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
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Approach Life As If It Were a Banquet
Think of your life as if it were a banquet where you would behave graciously. When dishes are passed to you, extend your hand and help yourself to a moderate portion. If a dish should pass you by, enjoy what is already on your plate. Or if the dish hasn't been passed to you yet, patiently wait your turn.
Carry over this same attitude of polite restraint and gratitude to your children, spouse, career, and finances. There is no need to yearn, envy, and grab. You will get your rightful portion when it is your time.
Diogenes and Heraclitus were impeccable models of living by such principles rather than by raw impulses. Make it your quest to imitate their worthy example.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
Think of your life as if it were a banquet where you would behave graciously. When dishes are passed to you, extend your hand and help yourself to a moderate portion. If a dish should pass you by, enjoy what is already on your plate. Or if the dish hasn't been passed to you yet, patiently wait your turn.
Carry over this same attitude of polite restraint and gratitude to your children, spouse, career, and finances. There is no need to yearn, envy, and grab. You will get your rightful portion when it is your time.
Diogenes and Heraclitus were impeccable models of living by such principles rather than by raw impulses. Make it your quest to imitate their worthy example.
- A manual for Living by Epictetus
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