While bombs have become Donald Copperfield's preferred diplomatic instrument since he cannot use tariffs anymore—he's struck enough countries in his second term to fill a World Cup bracket—it's worth noting that monopolization, financialization, globalization, and America's hollowed-out industrial capacity are somewhat undermining this strategy. The same forces that destroyed domestic self-sufficiency have created charming dependencies on foreign nations, meaning any genuine national security threat will reveal the US outsourced its ability to respond to it. This wasn't an accident—it was a deliberate choice by our lords of capital, who found offshoring production more profitable than maintaining tedious things like "strategic independence."


https://nationalinterest.org/blog/buzz/countries-trump-bombed-second-term-sa-030426

Reversing this would require dislodging the plutocrats profiting from the arrangement, so the Empire will probably just keep bombing with increasingly expensive munitions it can barely manufacture while wondering why it feels so exhausting.

While Donald Copperfield is busy blaming the Chinese mandarins—and roughly the rest of the planet—for the turbulence he created in the Strait of Hormuz, China quietly opened the year with stronger-than-expected economic data. Industrial production rose 6.3% year-on-year in January–February, retail sales accelerated to 2.8%, and fixed-asset investment unexpectedly grew 1.8%, suggesting the world’s second-largest economy entered 2026 with more momentum than feared. Unfortunately for global forecasters, those numbers were compiled before the latest geopolitical fireworks involving Iran rearranged the outlook for global growth, trade, and energy markets—meaning the data is already about as current as last week’s weather forecast. The real risk for China is not inflation but the possibility that a prolonged conflict could weaken global demand for its exports, turning a promising start to the year into yet another lesson in geopolitical timing.

In a nutshell, China quietly posted stronger-than-expected economic data—numbers that looked reassuring until the war in the Middle East reminded markets how quickly geopolitics can rewrite the growth outlook.

The Strategic Planners of Operation Epic ‘F..k up’ demonstrated Exceptional Foresight, correctly predicting Iran would deploy traditional mine-laying operations—our forces pre-emptively destroyed several mine-laying vessels in a Decisive Action. The current Temporary Navigation Challenges stem from Iran's Unlawful Deviation from expected doctrine: employing threats instead of honourably using mines as anticipated. This Asymmetric strategy has created Selective Passage Conditions—ships bound for China and regional partners proceed freely while others experience Voluntary Delays. The Coalition exercises Strategic Restraint, wisely avoiding actions that might (1) complicate relations with the US Valued Trading Supplier of Rare Earth, alias China, or (2) create Further Energy Price Stability Challenges. Iran has achieved effective closure without deploying a single naval asset—a fact that proves the Epic Strategic Success.

https://x.com/MarineTraffic/status/2033490585298915497?t=m4dydoKEehdYb2Gxffl-zQ&s=35

Donald Copperfield and 'Sata-nyahu' have brilliantly declined to specify what this war is actually for—regime change? End nuclear weapons? Degrade military capabilities? —which conveniently allows them to declare victory and exit whenever poll numbers require it. The Ayatollah assassination suggested regime change, Iran claims its uranium is now rubble (nuclear threat: solved!), but either objective would require boots on the ground, which enjoys roughly zero American support. No matter—the perception remains that this is Israel's war and America just helped decapitate Iran's leadership as a favour. Meanwhile, apocalypse beliefs have gone mainstream across North America, fuelled by climate chaos, geopolitical instability, and AI panic. What was once fringe doomsday talk is now dinner table conversation, with many Americans convinced the Middle East war is the opening act of Armageddon or is it only ‘Jeffrey’s War’…🍿Another inspiring episode of geopolitics where other people fight, taxpayers pay...

https://t.me/TheMacroButlerSubstack/1713

As Confucius observed: "He who closes the door and then asks his rival to help open it reveals more about himself than the door."

The Warmonger-in-Chief, having effectively shut the Strait of Hormuz through his own bombing campaign, now implores China to help him establish "American Rule of Law" over the very chokepoint he blockaded. Meanwhile, Iran's foreign minister has openly declared what was once discreet: Russia and China are providing military cooperation—intelligence sharing, battlefield data, logistical support, and diplomatic cover. Chinese naval assets have conveniently appeared near the Strait while both powers protect energy flows to their own markets, because why let American bombs interrupt profitable commerce?

https://united24media.com/latest-news/iran-officially-confirms-military-support-from-russia-and-china-in-war-against-the-us-16882

Because maps tell more truth than property developers turned Warmonger-in-Chief, Iran is now graciously informing ships they won't be attacked if they use Iranian waterways—a delightful development showing how Operation 'Epstein Fury' has completely neutralized Tehran's regional influence in the mind of the Washington theocrats. The sponsors of this brilliant campaign have inadvertently created the perfect conditions for Iran to exploit control over the world's most critical oil chokepoint and dictate terms on global energy transit. Mission accomplished!

https://x.com/anasalhajji/status/2033555429406458120

Yet if you listen to official White House statements, Iran has been utterly defeated with no meaningful presence or capability remaining in the region. Just ignore the part where they're now acting as traffic controllers for the global oil supply. Meanwhile, astute observers are asking whether the Gulf Arab countries were the actual targets all along—because nothing says "protecting our allies" quite like stalling the economies of the GCC and crippling the entire Arab world in the process.

Who could have predicted that destroying infrastructure and destabilizing the region would somehow increase Tehran's leverage? Certainly not the geniuses running this operation while tweeting about "total obliteration" and "everlasting peace."

As a Confucian and Buddhist perspective might suggest, when commerce flows freely, societies flourish; when it is disrupted by war, both victor and vanquished suffer.

The Global South, unattached to the imperial ambitions consuming the West, simply asks: "Why bomb when we can barter? Why destroy when we can exchange?"

https://www.bangkokpost.com/business/general/3218603/thailand-offers-iran-food-for-plastic-pellets-fertiliser

The Washington swamp pursues depopulation through weapons; the wise from the Global South pursue prosperity through partnership. As the sutras remind us: attachment to dominance brings suffering, while the path of mutual benefit brings peace.

The student of both traditions sees clearly—he who trades in fertilizer feeds the world; he who trades in bombs merely fertilizes graveyards.

To assess the Strategic Success of Operation ‘Epic F.ck’ on the ‘F.ck Up’ Meter of the Washington theocracy, one must compare it to previous Democracy Distribution Campaigns in Iraq and Afghanistan. By all Ministry metrics, current Peacekeeping Operations have exceeded historical Victory Benchmarks. The Commander-in-Chief and his forever allied ‘Sata-Nyahu’ , having declared Total Victory on Day One, has now correctly identified the conflict as Fundamentally Unfair—not due to operational deficiencies, but because Winning Too Decisively creates Temporary Economic Recalibration Challenges.

What economists name "stagflation" represents The Tremendous Trump Economic Renewal Phase, a necessary byproduct of Overwhelming Dominance. Previous campaigns required extended timelines; this operation achieves Superior Results through Accelerated Victory Metrics. The operation proceeds exactly as projected.

Needless to say, the first casualties of Operation Epic Fury are the loyal servant monarchies of the Gulf who brilliantly traded their sovereignty for the Empire's always-reliable, totally-not-ephemeral protection by embracing the petrodollar arrangement. Fantastic deal!
Saudi Arabia—whose oil dependency is so complete they'd be back to trading camels and dates without it—is discovering what "allied protection" actually means. Since Epic Fury began, Aramco, the world's largest oil company and the Kingdom's entire economic lifeline, has already haemorrhaged 500,000 barrels per day. Their biggest refinery is offline. The Yanbu East-West pipeline is running at maximum capacity but can't keep up. Storage tanks are filling faster than a bathtub with the drain closed. Oil fields are shutting in because there's nowhere to send the crude. Aramco called this situation "catastrophic"—which is corporate-speak for "we're completely screwed and questioning our life choices."

Nothing says "valued strategic partnership" quite like watching your entire economy burn while your protector bombs the region into an inflationary spiral. The monarchies paid handsomely for American security, and they're certainly getting what they paid for—just not in the way they imagined.

Donald Copperfield—who campaigned on MAGA but appears to be implementing MIGA (Make Israel Great Again) like every president since World War II—is discovering that his base isn't exactly thrilled about "Jeffrey's War." Turns out real MAGA supporters can tell the difference between America First and ‘Satanyahu’ First, and they're noticing this particular conflict seems oddly focused on Israeli priorities rather than, say, fixing potholes in Ohio.

Meanwhile, the entire North Atlantic Terror Organization (NATO) alliance has politely declined The Warmonger In Chief's invitation to join the Iranian adventure, which is diplomatic code for "absolutely not, you're on your own with this one." Even America's most reliable allies looked at Operation ‘Epic F..ck Up’ and decided they had urgent prior commitments—like literally anything else.

So here's The Warmonger In Chief's choice: step back and distance himself from Satanyahu's manipulation of his administration or watch his legacy get permanently rebranded from MAGA to "that guy who destroyed the economy for someone else's war." Nothing says "America First" quite like stagflation, $200 oil, and a regional war nobody wanted except one very persuasive foreign leader.

While the Irish world was busy celebrating Saint Patrick's Day, the U.S. Treasury quietly slipped $13BN of 20-year paper into the market—because nothing pairs better with green beer than duration risk.
The auction cleared at a “charming” 4.817%, up from 4.664% and just shy of January’s 4.846%, with demand conveniently strong enough to stop 0.7bps through the 4.824% When Issued. Remarkably, this marks the third stop-through in the last four outings—suggesting that, despite February’s less-than-festive tailing disaster, buyers are still happily showing up to fund the long end… perhaps after one too many pints.

The bid-to-cover conveniently jumped to 2.76 from 2.36—well above the six-auction average of 2.63—suggesting that appetite for long-duration exposure is alive and well, at least on paper.
Internals were even more “reassuring”: foreign buyers suddenly rediscovered their enthusiasm, with Indirects surging to 69.2% from 55.2%—the strongest showing since April 2025 and comfortably above the 62.1% average. Meanwhile, Directs took a more leisurely 21.6% (below their usual 27%), leaving Dealers with just 9.2%—a dramatic drop from 17.6% and one of the lowest allocations on record. In other words, the market worked exactly as intended… which, naturally, raises no further questions whatsoever.