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Oil at $120. Inflation roaring back. The Fed is lost. Your savings are quietly evaporating — and nobody on mainstream media is telling you the truth.
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In the hallowed spirit of Easter, the Warmonger-in-Chief ascended unto Truth Social to describe the Iranian people as "crazy bastards" and threaten to consign them to darkness and hell — a seasonal greeting that the Pope, having just reminded the world that God rejects the prayers of those with hands full of blood, will have received with considerable theological dismay.

The coin toss between Washington's theocrat and Tehran's theocrat as to which produces the more unhinged proclamations has become genuinely competitive — both convinced of divine approval, both unmoved by civilian suffering, and both apparently unaware that the most reliable definition of a crazy bastard is determined not by one's enemies but by one's mirror. The Malthusian theocrats of all denominations have, this Easter, achieved a rare moment of perfect symmetry. The rest of humanity is simply trying to have Easter lunch in peace.

While Asia honored its ancestors at Ching Ming and the West nursed its Easter hangover, The Macro Butler was already live on Asharq Bloomberg TV delivering the only macro briefing that matters right now.

The verdict on Operation Epic F**k-Up’s impact on Asian economies, currencies, and financial markets? Brace for the worst, hope for the best — and if you’re not already rotating out of energy consumers and into energy producers across Asia, the clock is ticking.

🎙 The trade is clear. The window is closing.

👉 Watch now — because in this market, the early bird doesn’t just get the worm. It gets the barrel. 🛢

https://themacrobutler.substack.com/p/interview-with-asharq-bloomberg-tv-d22

🙏 Easter Sunday blessings from the Oval Office:

Pope: "God rejects the prayers of those with hands full of blood." ✝️

DJT on Truth Social: "CRAZY BASTARDS! I'll send them to HELL!" 🔥

The Pope: 😶

Jesus: 😶

God's voicemail: 📵

Happy Easter everyone. He is risen. So is the oil price. ⛽️😂

In a development that will surprise no student of geopolitical geography, Asia has discovered that being a loyal vassal of the Empire carries certain structural disadvantages when the Empire closes the world's most critical oil chokepoint. Southeast Asia has already absorbed the first wave — price hikes across the region, long queues at petrol kiosks in Thailand and Malaysia as citizens raced to fill their tanks before governments quietly removed the price caps they had implemented in the opening hours of the Epic F**k-Up — a policy reversal that occurred with the speed of a finance ministry that had done the arithmetic. But the long-term casualties, as always, will be the Empire's most devoted pupils: Japan, South Korea, and Singapore — three economies that not only import the overwhelming majority of their oil from the Middle East but have, with admirable imperial loyalty, neglected to develop either energy independence or domestic food production.

Singapore, that gleaming monument to free trade and American imperialistic obedience, imports virtually every calorie its population consumes and produces not a single barrel of the oil that delivers those calories to its shores.

The Persian Gulf monarchies, at least, sit on top of the oil. Singapore merely sits on top of the bill. The Empire's most reliable allies have, once again, been positioned perfectly to absorb the maximum consequences of a war they are supporting behind the curtain. The vassal experience, it turns out, has not improved with age.

The US service sector has delivered a March report of such exquisite stagflationary symmetry that even the most propagandistic Washington elite will struggle to reframe it as transitory. The ISM services index fell to 54 while the prices paid gauge surged to 70.7 — its highest since October 2022 — recording the largest single-month jump in nearly 14 years, an achievement comparable only to the manufacturing survey's simultaneous deterioration, suggesting that Operation Epic F**k-Up is delivering its inflationary consequences to both sectors with admirable impartiality. Employment at service providers slumped 6.6 points to 45.2 — one of the largest monthly declines since the pandemic — confirming that the economy is achieving the rare distinction of simultaneously generating fewer jobs and higher prices.

Companies, displaying the survival instincts of organisms that can read an energy bill, are stockpiling inventories against supply chain disruptions while reporting higher gas and diesel costs across virtually every industry.

In a nutshell, the war that was won in the first hour is now losing the service economy one job and one price hike at a time.

In a Easter Monday press conference that will be studied by future historians alongside other great moments of geopolitical self-awareness, Donald Copperfield — fresh from threatening Iran with divine hellfire and apparently satisfied with six weeks of continuous hourly victories — announced his next career move: the presidency of Venezuela, the 51st state of the Empire, annexed with characteristic subtlety in early January. The Manipulator-in-Chief, displaying the linguistic confidence of a man who has mastered one language to debatable effect, assured the assembled press corps that he would "quickly learn Spanish" because he is, by his own assessment, "good at language." One notes that the same multilingual genius is currently struggling to reopen a strait using English.

https://www.foxnews.com/video/6392651982112 #FoxNews

The bunnies of the Rose Garden, summoned for the traditional Easter photo opportunity immediately following this announcement, were unavailable for comment but appeared appropriately bewildered. Venezuela, that sovereign nation currently experiencing the American colonization, has not yet been informed of the electoral calendar change. The oil, however — for that is always the oil — has noted the development with considerable interest. After Iran, Caracas. After Caracas, presumably, a strongly worded Truth Social post demanding that the Hormuz Straits open naturally.

In a development that the anti-gold consensus will inevitably misread as evidence that the metal is losing relevance, Russia has been selling approximately $2.4 billion of gold reserves to finance a war it cannot fund through international capital markets — because those markets, having weaponised themselves against Moscow, are no longer available for Moscow's convenience. The irony is exquisite: the very sanctions architecture designed to cripple Russia has inadvertently produced the most compelling advertisement for gold's monetary utility since Bretton Woods. When a nation is cut off from SWIFT, frozen out of foreign reserves, and denied access to international debt markets, it turns to the one asset that no sanctions regime can freeze, no executive order can confiscate, and no central bank can conjure from thin air.

https://united24media.com/latest-news/russian-central-bank-drains-gold-for-the-first-time-since-2002-as-war-deficit-mounts-17188

Russia is not selling gold because gold has failed. Russia is selling gold because gold is working — converting domestic holdings into liquidity with the quiet efficiency of an asset that has outlasted every currency, every empire, and every geopolitical architect who ever underestimated it. The broader trend remains unambiguous: central banks globally continue to accumulate while Russia liquidates under duress — a divergence that illustrates, with inadvertent precision, exactly why everyone else is buying what Moscow is reluctantly selling.

The Macro Butler is always ready to answer the next BFM 89.9 call. 📞

And this one was worth picking up.

While the rest of the world was still processing Easter weekend, The Macro Butler was back on air delivering the macro truth that only the smart money already knows: stagflation is here, volatility is just getting started, and the trade is brutally simple — buy the dips on gold and energy producers, sell the rips on energy consumers.

No hype. No spin. Just the cycle, the data, and the uncomfortable arithmetic.

🎙 Fasten your seatbelt. Pour something strong. This one’s important.

👉 Listen now — because by the time it’s consensus, it’s already too late. 🛢💰

https://themacrobutler.substack.com/p/interview-with-bfm-899-malaysia-07042026

The ancient oracles warned that the mightiest empires fall not by the sword of their enemies but by the whispers of those they trust. Donald Copperfield, it appears, has found his Delphic advisor in Satanyahu — a man whose personal obsession with Iran's destruction has become the invisible hand guiding the Empire foreign policy toward an abyss that no Truth Social post can adequately illuminate. The mystical pattern is unmistakable: as the cokehead on high heels ruling in Kyiv sabotages Russian pipelines to frustrate The Warmonger In Chief's peace overtures in Europe, Satanyahu calls to demand total war and reject every ceasefire in the Middle East — two men, on opposite ends of the Eurasian landmass, pulling the strings of the same puppet with the synchronised precision of those who hold leverage that dare not speak its name.

The Epstein files, those sacred scrolls of Washington's darkest secrets, cast their shadow over every capitulation. Meanwhile, the Abraham Accords — that crowning diplomatic achievement — crumble as Saudi Arabia has already forged a Middle Eastern NATO with Turkey and Pakistan to link its destiny to Beijing. The prophecy writes itself: Satanyahu, consumed by the same destructive fire he seeks to unleash upon Persia, will not save Israel — he will fulfil its most ancient tragedy. Donald Copperfield has not yet perceived that the hand holding his belongs to a man who serves no flag but his own. The Middle East is lost for the Empire.

Patience is the most formidable weapon of the wise. Napoleon expressed that same principle at Austerlitz with characteristic brevity: never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Russia and China, ancient civilisations with long memories and longer strategic horizons, need only hold their counsel, sustain Tehran's endurance, and watch as the Empire severs the energy arteries upon which its own vassals depend. Japan, South Korea, Singapore, and Europe — brought to their knees not by Moscow or Beijing but by Washington's own hand — would represent the greatest strategic windfall in modern history, achieved without firing a single shot. The superior strategist does not defeat his enemy. He creates the conditions in which the enemy defeats himself. Washington is providing those conditions with remarkable generosity. Russia and China are not interrupting.

In a characteristically dramatic Taco Tuesday intervention, the Warmonger-in-Chief has magnanimously decided to postpone Armageddon for another two weeks — because apparently the holy war that was won on Hour 1 of Day 1 requires a brief intermission before its next act of decisive victory. The ceasefire, announced with the conviction of a man who has already extended one five-day deadline into ten days and one ten-day deadline into six weeks, resolves nothing, commits to nothing, and will likely last approximately as long as the previous deadline that was also going to be final.