A message to myself and everyone who reads this:
I am not a perfect person, and I fully know that I carry a strange contradiction within me. I love with all my heart, and I want those I love to be completely and solely mine. I hate the idea or even the thought of sharing anything that belongs to them. This might seem annoying or like control driven by deep jealousy, but this is the truth of my personality that I cannot hide.
On the other hand, I am so lost, and sometimes I don't know what I am doing or what is going on around me. I know that my love might force them to give up certain things, and this tears me apart inside because I never want to be the reason for anyone's sadness. In moments of anger and tension, I feel like I lose control and ruin everything with my own hands, reaching a point where I just want to end everything simply to calm down and forget.
I am not looking for problems, and all I wish for is peace of mind, inner calm, and to just be a peaceful person. I apologize to anyone who was affected by my nerves or my ways. I love everyone, especially those closest to my heart. And if anyone sees that I am a bad person, they have the absolute freedom to tell me what is wrong and then block me... because I only wish peace for everyone's hearts, while I remain alone wrestling with my own lostness.
I am not a perfect person, and I fully know that I carry a strange contradiction within me. I love with all my heart, and I want those I love to be completely and solely mine. I hate the idea or even the thought of sharing anything that belongs to them. This might seem annoying or like control driven by deep jealousy, but this is the truth of my personality that I cannot hide.
On the other hand, I am so lost, and sometimes I don't know what I am doing or what is going on around me. I know that my love might force them to give up certain things, and this tears me apart inside because I never want to be the reason for anyone's sadness. In moments of anger and tension, I feel like I lose control and ruin everything with my own hands, reaching a point where I just want to end everything simply to calm down and forget.
I am not looking for problems, and all I wish for is peace of mind, inner calm, and to just be a peaceful person. I apologize to anyone who was affected by my nerves or my ways. I love everyone, especially those closest to my heart. And if anyone sees that I am a bad person, they have the absolute freedom to tell me what is wrong and then block me... because I only wish peace for everyone's hearts, while I remain alone wrestling with my own lostness.
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