حتى الأحلامُ يا أمي، باتت توقظُ معها الجراح

حاولتُ الهرب، وأن أخدعَ نفسي بشيءٍ من الوهم الذي يُسمّى أملًا، لكنني أخفقتُ!
لا زال كلُّ شيءٍ يزداد قسوة، حتى هذه الكلماتُ التي أكتبها.
أدركتُ حقًا كم آذيتُ نفسي، وكم كان يستحيلُ أن تتغيّر تلك النهايات!
من أين لي يا أمي بالقليل من الطمأنينة، لأنجوَ بها من ذلك الإرهاقِ المُخلِص لصاحبه؟
من أين لي بالقليل من الأمان، لأعبرَ به إلى الضفةِ الأخرى؟
أنا مُتعبٌ يا أمي، وتعبي هذا يكمنُ بداخلي، لا في تلك الأيامِ الثقيلة كما كنتُ أظن.

I love you, my little one. I love your smile, and I never want to see you cry. You are one of the most beautiful coincidences in my life, and I see so much in you. I know you are something truly good, while I am a flawed person, but I am trying to become better just for you. You deserve so much in this life—you deserve a fresh start, a happy life far away from troubles, a life that transforms you and erases every sorrow you've ever carried

You are my absolute favorite accident, the brightest soul I ever crossed paths with. It breaks my heart to know you've ever had to hurt or shed a single tear, because you only deserve warmth and light. I know I am complicated, and I carry too much damage, but you are the reason I want to fix the broken parts of myself. I want to give you the world you've always missed out on—a quiet, beautiful life completely free of pain, where every single day feels like healing. Don't ever forget how deeply precious you are to me.

Out of everything this world throws at me, you are the one light that feels entirely real. I love everything about you—your laughter, your sweet jealousy, the way you listen even when you try to argue, and the pure comfort you bring into my chaotic life. You are completely different from anyone else; you stayed, you cared, and you made me feel like I actually matter. Even when I don't know how to put my feelings into proper words, I want you to know that you hold a place in my heart that no one else ever could. You are my favorite piece of peace, my absolute favorite habit, and I love you more than words could ever say

Whatever you ever need, you will always find me right here—so that one day, you will realize my true worth yourself. If you don't see it now, perhaps you will come to know it later, when the noise fades and the silence speaks for itself. I took away my messages from you, knowing they might have felt heavy or unwanted, but I won't hide the truth: I loved you, and I still do, because you remain someone deeply precious in my heart. No matter the distance or the reasons that tore us apart, that truth doesn't change

You can walk away and pretend you lost nothing, but time has a quiet way of showing people what they threw away. One day, when the noise around you fades and you realize no one else looks at you the way I did, or cares for the broken parts of you the way I tried to, you will finally understand the weight of what you let go. I loved you fiercely, more than you probably ever deserved, and I gave you a version of me I will never give to anyone else. You chose to lose that, and while I am left here picking up the pieces of a silence I never wanted, you will have to live with the quiet haunting reality that you traded something entirely real for nothing at all. Consider this the last piece of me you'll ever get: I was the best thing you had, and you lost it