​I am lost, I don't know what to do and what is going to happen. I don't know what is going on around me. I want to disappear from the world, but I want to form relationships. I don't know why, am I okay or not?

I love some people, but I don't know if my love is good or not, if I am hurting them or not, if I am a good person or not. I know I love them, but my love forces them to give up certain things, and this makes me sad, and I don't know what to do.

I love them sincerely, and I do not want to leave anyone I love, and I do not know what to do. Maybe in a moment of anger, I do something wrong. I try to hide all my problems, but I feel like I am a problem in their lives. Sometimes I want to leave, but it is very difficult because I love them

But it didn't work, sometimes moments ruin everything, specifically when my nerves flare up. I don't know what to do and I start ruining everything, and maybe I end everything just so I can calm down and forget everything. I am a bad person, I am the cause of everyone's problems

I apologize to everyone. Anyone who wants to communicate with me again, I am the one with the problem. I just want to be a peaceful person, I don't want problems, I just want peace of mind. I love everyone, especially those dear to my heart, and anyone who sees me as a bad person can tell me what the problem is and block me.

A message to people: I love you and I want you to be mine only. I don't like sharing things at all. Maybe this can be annoying and you might not like it, and it might be control driven by jealousy, but this is my personality

A message to myself and everyone who reads this:
​I am not a perfect person, and I fully know that I carry a strange contradiction within me. I love with all my heart, and I want those I love to be completely and solely mine. I hate the idea or even the thought of sharing anything that belongs to them. This might seem annoying or like control driven by deep jealousy, but this is the truth of my personality that I cannot hide.
​On the other hand, I am so lost, and sometimes I don't know what I am doing or what is going on around me. I know that my love might force them to give up certain things, and this tears me apart inside because I never want to be the reason for anyone's sadness. In moments of anger and tension, I feel like I lose control and ruin everything with my own hands, reaching a point where I just want to end everything simply to calm down and forget.
​I am not looking for problems, and all I wish for is peace of mind, inner calm, and to just be a peaceful person. I apologize to anyone who was affected by my nerves or my ways. I love everyone, especially those closest to my heart. And if anyone sees that I am a bad person, they have the absolute freedom to tell me what is wrong and then block me... because I only wish peace for everyone's hearts, while I remain alone wrestling with my own lostness.