They say dad jokes are corny but when you take out the n-word, the pope, and that mouse fucking an elephant in the ass, we’re not left with much.

Fuck off. They were heckling the coach who stole the bat boy’s mom and drove the bat boy’s dad to killing himself and his son, the bat boy.

My mustache is so wiry. Sometimes, I think I should trim it down to something more manageable, like this.

Just had a 1.5hr debate with an amicable but contentious trans woman so that’ll be the show. @AsianPatDixon will be airing his #AFPAC special too so don’t complain.

So sick of assholes like Norm Macdonald saying gay culture is just sex. What about their boats, huh?

https://t.co/Mcw39WLHbU

Nothing like drunk Baby Monsters sending you hot scoops in the middle of the night.

I get why she hates everyone.

NYC apprenticeships available for some races/sexual preferences but not others. How is this legal?

Babies have no place in our society. They are self-obsessed monsters who would happily let you drown if it meant more goodies for them.

Why is it they can put the bird which is the bald eagle on the endangered list but not hand-cut fries?

On this proud day of bravery, I’d like to give Wat Tyler a shoutout for starting a white slave rebellion and overcoming his oppressors!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peasants%27_Revolt

I'm visiting the homeland to do some comedy. Wait'll you see the special guest. TrinityProductions.ca
Please spread the word by retweeting this!

Actually, he was persona non grata for ten years.

The good news is Cori Bush is able to cure him using VOODOO!

The modern equivalent of FIVE MILLION white men died in an argument about black rights. Can imagine that many Africans dying in a fight about white rights? Africans didn't even object to black slavery. It was their number one export. So... you're welcome.

This is considered the sexiest scene in the history of cinema but it’s not because of Phoebe Cates. Anyone could be filmed like that and it would look just as hot.

Swiss Germans did a hit piece on me and “America’s Culture War.”

Apparently, it’s not Coors Banquet anymore. It’s Coors Original. If it wasn’t for @DylanMulvaneyUS I’d never have known.