Imagine you bludgeon some woman to death and they forget you built this country.

Because then I’m not looking you in the eyes and you get that SNL effect.

Imagine being as accomplished as Lara Logan and having some child pat you on the back and say, "There there, dear. You'll be OK."

https://t.co/oZL6SSlFR4

First one's in a week and the second one is two Fridays later.

Woke journalism is dying. It's basic supply and demand. You report on a bunch of made up shit long enough, people are going to tune out. HuffPo and the Atlantic are next.

#pepperspray

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

That’s it! I’m headed down there. This shit needs to get fixed YESTERDAY!
https://t.co/ejGVfeZTxg

Murderers have a compulsion they can’t control. Let them be. Same with guys who throw old ladies down the stairs. They don’t choose this life. #Namaste

Incompetent corporation does hapless hit to cover their tracks.

I have a feeling she might be a lesbian.

If you're not trying to groom kids, why are you making drag toys?
@libsoftiktok

Wait, the dad from Home Alone is a chick now?

GET OFF MY LAWN | S5 E65
"I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR GUNS ILLEGAL"

https://t.co/8dcmEPWPCH

Parenting advice from @XGavinMcInnes

Can’t wait to see #soapbox in April at King Tut’s. Will be great to be back home. Glasgow’s miles better!
#POYB

Two BIG FUUUCKIN UPDATES!!!

When you're deeply annoyed by @RepTimBurchett because you don't realize he's one of us.

Stuttering John shouldn’t have shaved his beard.

Good show about how stupid it is to volunteer in shithole countries.
hbo.com/savior-complex

They don't even want your help.
linktr.ee/nowhitesaviors

Should Christian missionaries be focusing their efforts on countries like Haiti?

You mean Barbecue hasn’t been corresponding with NBC, Doctors Without Borders OR The State Department? Shit. I guess we’ll have to rely on the videos of Haitians eating human flesh. ☹️