My wife was crying when I knocked over her butterfly farm and yelled, “They’re dead! They were supposed to signify a new beginning for us and now they’re dead!”
Then, today, an adult emerged from the pupa and I took it to her and yelled, “IN YOUR FACE YOU FUCKING BITCH!”

Weren’t you guys calling me an asshole for betting $100/game on the Mets for the entire season?
I’m up like, $625!

Praying my mistress doesn’t boil this.

I know you didn’t hear about the masa shooting in DC this weekend but did you know he worshipped Yakub? That’s a black scientist from 6,600 years ago who invented the white race to torment earth.

Is there anything sadder than a dog mom? Their maternal instincts are frayed and misdirected while the dog is a bizarre genetic mutant bred from a wolf. It's like two broken animals.
https://youtu.be/rFRgb-_L-pg

You see a young Amy Winehouse perform and sell your soul to the devil to make her your girlfriend.

Dude, the left is FLIPPING OUT about the mere POSSIBILITY Trump comes back to Twitter. Imagine being that fragile. We are living under the tyranny of the meek.

Don't you miss Trump?
https://censored.tv/watch/shows/free-shit/episode/trump-addresses-biden-mental-decline

Before you get too tired of winning, please note that Twitter is ONE company in an absolute fucking ocean of left wing bias.

A drag queen is a gay pretending to be a woman for fun. It’s not real.

A trans woman is a gay pretending to be a woman for fun. It’s not real.

We have a saying here in the Big Apple, “It’s New York. You got hustled.”

https://www.defenseone.com/business/2022/04/ceo-boeing-should-have-rejected-trumps-air-force-one-deal/366186/

Ryerson University president Mohamed Lachemi changed the name to Toronto Metropolitan University because Egerton Ryerson didn't embrace the idea of a multicultural Canada.
https://www.cp24.com/news/ryerson-university-to-be-renamed-toronto-metropolitan-university-1.5876867
Shouldn't the onus be on Mohamed to prove Ryerson was wrong?
https://www.boloprogram.org/ ​

I'm doing an update on the Hillary death count because of this new guy. We're up to 40 suspicious deaths and 13 REALLY SUSPICIOUS deaths.
1- Can anyone help me find a pic of Jon Parnell Walker? He was the investigator who died investigating Whitewatergate.
2- If anything happens to me, I did not commit suicide!

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/reputed-federal-informant-whistleblower-found-dead-in-l-a-after-he-s-reported-missing/ar-AAWFTZN?ocid=msedgntp&cvid=f5cb9e5349d743df89f756c37c82ed8e

Bruce Willis was pulled out of the movie business because we all realized he had no idea what was going on and he was getting ridiculed. Let's do the same to the president. He needs his own Razzie category.

ConEd bills got me like

How are you not subscribed to Censored.TV? For the price of two beers a month, you get unlimited daily content for free!

I’m not tired of winning but this is winning.

As Welterweight Champion Larry Barnes is inducted into the Hall of Fame, Heavyweight Champion Shannon Briggs jumps up and yells, “This guy got me into boxing!”

Remember when the women’s march had a speaker who raped a gay man to death?