Admin note here:

💤 Congress is in recess (not doing shit) until the day before the government is set to shut down.

🤡 Keep in mind the Republican Party controls both chambers and will most likely blame democrats for the shutdown.

Then send 6 trillion dollars to Israel👖

Now my dear reader you may ask: what is a government shutdown?🤪

👮 A government shutdown is when Congress throws a tantrum so epic that Uncle Sam has to put the country in “airplane mode.”

😢 Essential workers still show up (because someone has to keep the lights on and the missiles from accidentally launching), but millions of others get sent home without pay until politicians remember how to act like adults.

👧 It’s basically the government’s way of proving that Netflix has a more reliable “continue watching” button than democracy has a “continue functioning” one.

Now ladies and gents, my favorite thing to do during my free time is gamble 🎰

💰 Place your bets below on how long the shutdown will last.

💸Winner gets 3 months of premium (only 1 person I'm broke as fuck)

I said one person 🙁

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️US President Donald Trump has seen the Venezuelan “people’s militia” training video and is now roasting the dog piss out of it (telegram formatting sucks, click the video to see his post)

🤪 Remember, before he was president, he had like a 10 year beef with Rosie O’Donnell where all he did was blast her for her weight and appearance, so this is home territory for him