Degrees of Forgiveness with Spouses and Children

Allāh — Glorified and Exalted be He — said:

{يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنَّ مِنْ أَزْوَاجِكُمْ وَأَوْلَادِكُمْ عَدُوًّا لَّكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُمْ ۚ وَإِن تَعْفُوا وَتَصْفَحُوا وَتَغْفِرُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ}

O you who believe! Verily, among your wives and your children there are enemies for you (who may stop you from the obedience of Allāh), therefore beware of them! But if you pardon (them) and overlook, and forgive (their faults), then verily, Allāh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
[Surah At-Taghabun 64:14]

Allāh the Exalted combined "pardon" (al-'afw), "overlooking" (as-safh), and "forgiveness" (al-maghfirah) to emphasise the perfection of overlooking the mistakes of spouses and children, as these terms represent ascending degrees of forbearance:

1⃣ - Pardon (Al-'Afw): Relinquishing punishment.

2⃣ - Overlooking (As-Safh): Turning away from the sin and refraining from reprimand.

3⃣ - Forgiveness (Al-Maghfirah): Concealing the sin and not publicising it.

Within this is a Divine guidance toward open-mindedness, preserving affection, and building homes upon forbearance and mercy.

Shaykh Fayṣal Al-Hashidi

Source: https://t.me/Insightful_Couples/207

This Friday
@MasjidAlImaamMuqbil

أحكام الطلاق، شروط الطلاق
تأليف د.أحمد بن عبد الرحمن الزومان

Divorcing properly could actually help save your marriage ⤵️
https://t.me/Menzbenefits/26

𝗠𝗮𝗱𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗮 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (42)
Marriage Is Built on Faith and Kindness, Not Love Alone

Al-Bukhārī narrated in At-Tārīkh Al-Kabīr (in a summarised form), as did Al-Fasawī in Al-Maʿrifah wa At-Tārīkh, and Ibn Jarīr Aṭ-Ṭabarī in Tahdhīb Al-Āthār in the Musnad of ʿAlī ibn Abī Ṭālib (may Allāh be pleased with him).

The report says:

Ibn Abī ʿAzrah Ad-Duʾalī used to divorce the women he married during the caliphate of ʿUmar. Because of this, stories about him spread among the people, and he disliked that. When he realised this, he brought ʿAbdullāh ibn Al-Arqam with him into his house. He said to his wife, while Ibn Al-Arqam was listening:

“I ask you by Allāh, do you hate me?”

His wife replied: “Do not ask me this.”

He said: “No, answer.”

She then said: “By Allāh, yes.”

Ibn Abī ʿAzrah said to ʿAbdullāh: “Did you hear that?”

Then he went to ʿUmar and said: “O Commander of the Faithful, people claim that I wrong women and divorce them unjustly. Ask ʿAbdullāh ibn Al-Arqam about what he heard from my wife.”

ʿUmar asked ʿAbdullāh, and he told him what had happened. Then ʿUmar sent for the wife, and she came. He said to her:
“Are you the one who tells her husband that you hate him?”

She replied: “O Commander of the Faithful, I am the first to repent and return to Allāh’s command. He asked me by Allāh, and I felt ashamed to lie. Should I lie, O Commander of the Faithful?”

ʿUmar said:
«نعم، فاكذبي، فإن كانت إحداكن لا تحب أحدا، فلا تحدثه بذلك، فإن أقل البيوت الذي يبنى على الحب، ولكن الناس يتعاشرون بالإسلام، والإحسان»

“Yes—lie. If one of you does not love someone, she should not tell him that. The least stable homes are those built on love alone. People live together through Islam and good treatment.”

Source: https://t.me/madrasatuna/5863

✨ #DAWRAH ✨

🗓 This Sunday
⏰ 5:30pm – 7:20pm
📍 Barking Road Community Centre, London, E13 9EZ

Livestream ⤵️
https://t.me/masjidsahabah

Knowledge-Based Seminar

By Allāh's Grace, next weekend on the 27th of Shaʿbān (15th February) there will be a knowledge-based seminar in Leigh, Greater Manchester with beneficial talks and reminders by students of knowledge between ẓuhr and maghrib in shāʾ Allāh.

The seminar is accessible to both brothers and sisters.

Full schedule to be released soon in shāʾ Allāh.

Have We Fallen Short In Guiding Our Women? | Shaykh Muhammad bin Ramzān

Ongoing Lesson Schedule

﷽

Stalls at the Conference
[https://t.me/masjidsahabah/1680]

Alḥamdulillāh, there will be an opportunity to sell products at the upcoming conference through a limited number of stalls. Anyone wishing to trade must receive prior approval, as spaces are restricted and subject to specific conditions.

▪️There are six stalls available in total:
3 on the brothers’ side
3 on the sisters’ side

▪️Conditions & Guidelines:

-> Fee: £50 per stall.

-> Product Variety: Each stall must offer different products to avoid overlap and prevent any issues or disputes. Also, no one is allowed to sell any food or drink.

-> Allocation: Stalls will be assigned on a first-come, first-served basis.

-> Payments: Vendors are responsible for arranging their own payment methods (cash, card reader, etc.).

-> Approval Required: No stall may operate without prior confirmation.

-> Conduct: All items sold must be appropriate and in line with Islamic guidelines.

If you are interested in reserving a stall, please confirm by emailing:
📧 Sidehustles1447@gmail.com

For further enquiries, contact:
📲 Abu Aasiyah
+447956114844

1 stall left on the brother's side.

𝗠𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (73)
Polygyny is a cause of increased provision

Shaykh Al-Albani rahimahullah said:

“‘Al-‘aylah’ means poverty. So the meaning here is that increasing in marriage can be a reason for wealth and richness. This reminds me of the Āyah:
﴿إن يكونوا فقراء يغنهم الله من فضله﴾
‘If they are poor, Allāh will enrich them from His bounty.’

Marriage is a cause of wealth, not a cause of poverty. In the Āyah,
﴿ذلك أدنى ألا تعولوا﴾
‘That is more likely that you will not become poor’ — it means: so that you do not fall into poverty.

People often say,
"الضيف يأتي مع رزقه"
‘A guest comes with his provision.’ We also say,
"المرأة الثانية تأتي مع رزقها"
‘A second wife comes with her provision.’ So why do people fear marrying a second wife?

They fear falling into poverty. But the Āyah is a response to them: ‘That is more likely’ — meaning closer — ‘that you will not become poor.’

Similarly, Allāh says:
﴿ووجدك عائلا فأغنى﴾
‘And He found you in need and made you self-sufficient.’”

[Silsilat al-Huda wa An-Nur, no. 536]

Source: https://t.me/Menzbenefits/278

𝗠𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (74)
The Three Greatest Trials for Men

Men are destroyed by three things. By Allāh, no man falls into them except that his religion is weakened, his dignity is damaged, and the blessing in his life disappears.

1⃣. The first destructive thing is private sins.

When a person is alone, his true state of Ēmān is revealed — whether it is sincere or fake.

The Prophet ﷺ said: “I know people from my nation who will come on the Day of Judgment with good deeds as huge as mountains, but Allāh will make them like scattered dust.” The companions asked about them. He said: “They pray as you pray, fast as you fast, and give charity as you give charity. But when they are alone and able to sin, they violate Allah’s limits.”

How often a man loses his dignity, religion, and purity because of what he does in private.

2⃣. The second destructive thing is wealth.

The Prophet ﷺ said: “Every Ummah has a fitnah, and the fitnah of my Ummah is wealth.”

Many people become weak in front of money and feed their children from unlawful earnings.

The Prophet also said: “Any body that grows from unlawful gain, the Fire is more deserving of it.”

If you want to test a man, test him in money and financial dealings.

3⃣. The third — and the greatest — destructive thing is the temptation of women.

No man falls into it except that poverty comes close to him, the blessing in his life disappears, and his dignity fades.

The Prophet ﷺ said: “Fear this world and fear women, for the first fitnah of the Children of Israel was through women.”

Whoever falls into one of these destructive matters loses the blessing in his life, weakens his religion, and may lose his wealth.

Allāh says: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allāh is fully aware of what they do.”

Source: https://t.me/Menzbenefits/279

𝗠𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (75)
A Disobedient Wife's Right to Financial Support During Pregnancy and ’Iddah?

Question: I am sending you my problem asking for a religious ruling. May Allāh reward you with good. I am an Egyptian man working in Saudi Arabia for about a year. Before I came here, I officially married my wife in Egypt. After arriving, I sent for her to come live with me so we could start our married life here. She and her family agreed. I sent her the full dowry as stated in the marriage contract and prepared our apartment. She came, and we began living together. After about a month and a half of marriage, signs of pregnancy appeared. She insisted on returning to her family to spend her pregnancy there, but I refused. I told her I was ready to take care of her with everything I had. I even took her to a specialist doctor who treated and followed up on her condition. But she refused everything except going back to her family. She would say: “If you want to divorce me, then divorce me. If you don’t want to send me money, then don’t. I will pay for the return ticket from my dowry, but I must travel.” I tried both gentle and firm approaches with her, but she insisted until our home became unbearable. In the end, I bought her a ticket and she traveled to her family. Now I have several questions. The first is: Is this wife considered nashiz? And is she entitled to financial support, considering she is pregnant? I was not pleased with her traveling and tried to stop her but could not.

Sheikh Ibn Baz rahimahullah:

In the name of Allāh, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allāh, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allāh, his family, and companions.

If the situation is as the questioner described, then the wife is considered nashiz. She is not entitled to financial support because she traveled without your approval and against your wishes, due to her insistence and the distress she caused you, as you mentioned.

Some scholars say she deserves support because she is pregnant. However, the correct opinion is that as long as she remains in this condition (disobedience), she is not entitled to financial support, even if she is pregnant.

Presenter: May Allāh reward you. If I divorce her, would I be wronging her?

Sheikh: There is nothing wrong with divorcing her. However, we advise you not to rush into divorce if she is good in her religion. Her behavior may have worsened because of pregnancy and the physical and emotional changes that affect pregnant women. So do not rush to divorce if she is good in her prayers, character, and modesty. Perhaps Allāh will guide her and improve her behaviour later.

If you do divorce her, then it should be only one divorce (one pronouncement). Divorce by saying it three times at once is not allowed. If you decide to divorce, it should be only one. And again, we advise you not to rush.

Presenter: If I divorce her, what financial rights does she have over me?

Sheikh: If you divorce her and she agrees to return to you, then you must provide financial support during her waiting period (‘iddah). But if she insists on staying away and continues in disobedience, then you do not have to provide support, even after the divorce.

However, if you divorce her and she changes her mind and returns, then you must provide support during her waiting period until she gives birth. After that, you must provide support for the child.

Presenter: Can I consider the cost of her return ticket as part of her financial support for several months? The travel costs about 1,000 riyals.

Sheikh: Since you voluntarily paid for the ticket, you cannot ask for it back or count it as her support.

Presenter: If I send her a letter informing her of the divorce, is that divorce valid?

Sheikh: You should officially register it at the court, with a notary, or with a licensed marriage official so that it will be recognised and legally documented.

Source: https://t.me/Menzbenefits/280

𝗠𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (76)
Husbands Are Given Qiwāmah (Authority) Over Wives For Three Reasons

Abu Bakr ibn Al-‘Arabi – may Allāh have mercy on him – said in Aḥkām Al-Qur'ān regarding the Āyah:

{بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللهُ بَعۡضَهُمۡ عَلَىٰ بَعۡضࣲ وَبِمَاۤ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنۡ أَمۡوَ ٰ⁠لِهِمۡ}
"...by [right of] what Allāh has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth." [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 34]

The meaning is: Allāh has made the husband the leader over the wife because He has preferred him over her. This preference is based on three things:

1⃣ First: Completeness of intellect and reasoning.

2⃣ Second: Completeness of religion, in jihad, promoting good and forbidding evil, and other matters. This is explained by the Prophet ﷺ in the authentic hadith:

“I have not seen anyone more deficient in mind and religion than you (women).” They asked, “O Messenger of Allāh , how is that?” He said, “Is it not the case that some of you spend nights without praying or fasting? That is a deficiency in her religion. And that the testimony of a woman counts as half that of a man? That is a deficiency in her reasoning.”

Allāh has also indicated this deficiency in the Qur'ān, as in:

“If one of them (the two parties) errs, the other can remind her” [Qur’an 2:282]

3⃣ Third: Financial contribution through the marriage gift (mahr) and maintenance (nafqah). Allāh has also made this clear in this Āyah.

Source: https://t.me/Menzbenefits/281

Alright everyone, here’s the plan:

Friday at 7 sharp:
[https://t.me/activemuslims/233]

After that, head straight to Muqbil:
[https://t.me/activemuslims/234]

Saturday, we’ve got you all to ourselves:
[https://t.me/activemuslims/235]

Then on Sunday, we're going Northwards to Manchester
https://t.me/activemuslims/237

Let’s make it a family affair!