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Short Jokes
The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday
@Englishteacherideas1
The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday
@Englishteacherideas1
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"
@English teacherideas1
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"
@English teacherideas1
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
@Englishteacherideas1
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
@Englishteacherideas1
PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn
@Englishteacherideas1
t do?"
TEACHER:" Of course not."
PUPIL: "Good, because I havent done my homework." @Englishteacherideas1
When I want to teach the coulors, I just ask my students to pretend the phone is ringing and they will answer:
Phone rings: "Green, green!"
They answer: "Yellow?"
They ask: "White?"
They hang up: "Pink!"
While teaching this use your hands pretending you are holding the phone.
@Englishteacherideas1
Phone rings: "Green, green!"
They answer: "Yellow?"
They ask: "White?"
They hang up: "Pink!"
While teaching this use your hands pretending you are holding the phone.
@Englishteacherideas1
Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.
@Englishteacherideas1
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.
@Englishteacherideas1
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said,"oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
@Englishteacherideas1
@Englishteacherideas1
♥ For all of the support, the friend, and love you have given me, I thank you and love you, Mom.
♥ I am so thankful that God made you my mom.
♥ For all of the times I never said thank you because I thought you knew, I thank you now more than ever, mom.
@Englishteacherideas1
♥ I am so thankful that God made you my mom.
♥ For all of the times I never said thank you because I thought you knew, I thank you now more than ever, mom.
@Englishteacherideas1
♥ No one can take your place, mom, but you take the place of so many others and I am gracious.
♥ Mom, I don’t always take the time to tell you how much I am thankful for you and everything you have done. I love you.
♥ I don’t tell you how important and special you are in my life, but, Mom, I am forever grateful for all that you are and who you have taught me to be.
♥ Thank you, mom, for everything and I hope someday that I am at least half the person you are.
@Englishteacherideas1
♥ Mom, I don’t always take the time to tell you how much I am thankful for you and everything you have done. I love you.
♥ I don’t tell you how important and special you are in my life, but, Mom, I am forever grateful for all that you are and who you have taught me to be.
♥ Thank you, mom, for everything and I hope someday that I am at least half the person you are.
@Englishteacherideas1
♥ You are like no other, mom, for giving me life, nurturing me, and always being the first one I call for advice and just to say hello. Thank you.
♥ For all of those things you didn’t have to do for me, I thank you, Mom, for those and even for the ones you felt obligated to do.
♥ There are not enough words to even describe how important you are in my life, Mom, and you continue to influence how I live mine. I am forever grateful.
♥ The hands that held me first are still the ones that hold me when I feel lost and I am forever grateful for you, my mom.
♥ I am the luckiest egg you ever hatched, mom. Thank you for everything.
@Englishteacherideas1
♥ For all of those things you didn’t have to do for me, I thank you, Mom, for those and even for the ones you felt obligated to do.
♥ There are not enough words to even describe how important you are in my life, Mom, and you continue to influence how I live mine. I am forever grateful.
♥ The hands that held me first are still the ones that hold me when I feel lost and I am forever grateful for you, my mom.
♥ I am the luckiest egg you ever hatched, mom. Thank you for everything.
@Englishteacherideas1
♥ Dear Mom, I’m sorry for the worry that I have ever put you through as I learned my mistakes and you still helped carry me through. I love you and thank you.
♥ The gratitude I have for you, mom, can hardly be expressed by words and fill my heart with love and joy.
♥ I am so gracious for everything you have always been. You are amazing, strong, selfless, and loving and I’m such a lucky child to have a wonderful mom like you
♥ When I fell and cried, mom, you were always there to kiss it to make it go away. It is because of you, mom, that I am stronger. Thank you
♥ Even when I’m sitting in the dark, you still turn the light on for me. Thank you, mom. I don’t tell you that enough.
♥ I want to thank you for being my mother for I will never have another.
♥ As I’ve grown older, I realize all you give up for me and I thank you and I hope to do the same for you.
@Englishteacherideas1
♥ The gratitude I have for you, mom, can hardly be expressed by words and fill my heart with love and joy.
♥ I am so gracious for everything you have always been. You are amazing, strong, selfless, and loving and I’m such a lucky child to have a wonderful mom like you
♥ When I fell and cried, mom, you were always there to kiss it to make it go away. It is because of you, mom, that I am stronger. Thank you
♥ Even when I’m sitting in the dark, you still turn the light on for me. Thank you, mom. I don’t tell you that enough.
♥ I want to thank you for being my mother for I will never have another.
♥ As I’ve grown older, I realize all you give up for me and I thank you and I hope to do the same for you.
@Englishteacherideas1
Game time
Simon Says
This is an excellent game for young learners. Whether you’re waking them up on a Monday morning or sending them home on a Friday afternoon, this one is bound to get them excited and wanting more. The only danger I have found with this game is that students never want to stop playing it.
Why use it? Listening comprehension; Vocabulary; Warming up/winding down class
Who it's best for: Young learners
How to Play:
Stand in front of the class (you are Simon for the duration of this game).
Do an action and say Simon Says [action]. The students must copy what you do.
Repeat this process choosing different actions - you can be as silly as you like and the sillier you are the more the children will love you for it.
Then do an action but this time say only the action and omit ‘Simon Says’. Whoever does the action this time is out and must sit down.
The winner is the last student standing.
To make it harder, speed up the actions. Reward children for good behavior by allowing them to play the part of Simon
Simon Says
This is an excellent game for young learners. Whether you’re waking them up on a Monday morning or sending them home on a Friday afternoon, this one is bound to get them excited and wanting more. The only danger I have found with this game is that students never want to stop playing it.
Why use it? Listening comprehension; Vocabulary; Warming up/winding down class
Who it's best for: Young learners
How to Play:
Stand in front of the class (you are Simon for the duration of this game).
Do an action and say Simon Says [action]. The students must copy what you do.
Repeat this process choosing different actions - you can be as silly as you like and the sillier you are the more the children will love you for it.
Then do an action but this time say only the action and omit ‘Simon Says’. Whoever does the action this time is out and must sit down.
The winner is the last student standing.
To make it harder, speed up the actions. Reward children for good behavior by allowing them to play the part of Simon