"A new statement out of OJ Simpson today, "Boy, it's a lot hotter down here than I thought!"

They say that OJ will be buried with his favorite pair of gloves

And his patent shoes

And the footprint casts found outside Nicole's house

And the entire bloody sockdrawer

And the mountains of DNA evidence

And the White Bronco (disassembled)

And his lucky knife

Wow

I guess this means Nicole Brown's real murderer gets away with it

OJ Simpsons reportedly to be buried with a full video of evidence that he did, in fact, commit the murders of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman

The contents of the video?

A tape of the trial

And now, at long last, OJ is finally surrounded by his peers

Norm Macdonald looking down at OJ roasting while Norm roasts him for all eternity on Heavenly Update

Was it worth it, George?

Less Than One Year

"Truly amazing news, OJ Simpson's family has announced he will be buried in the same casket as the real killer of Nicole"

My proudest achievement