closure ——— I just am not in a state where I can be in a relationship nor a friendship, nothing works rn bc I am too unstable, it just doesn't work and everything is falling apart. I can't stand watching others constantly get what I am craving since 20 years. It just hurts to think about you now it is nothing but pain and to avoid it becoming more painful I need to cut you out of my life bc I know from past experiences, the longer I stay with someone the deeper the scars get, I won't let them get deeper sorry. I am not even looking for any new friends or anything now bc I know it can't work, I accept that I am alone and that is for the best bc like this I also can't hurt anybody anymore and nobody can hurt me either. Everything just hurts. People hurt.