Writeologist | W-8.5
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πŸ›«A prepositional clause, also serving as an adverbial phrase

How to use it⁉️

- One of these reasons is that, in pursuit of financial gains, people invest heavily in cryptostocks, because this way they expect to have high returns in the near term.

- One of these reasons is that, in pursuit of financial gains, people invest heavily in cryptostocks, mostly for high returns from this source in the near term.

P.S. What you have with this is conciseness, a wide range of grammatical structures and a smoother flow
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❀3❀‍πŸ”₯1πŸ‘1
Task 2 (28.03 exam).pdf
66.8 KB
I'll drop soon 2-3 more essays. Take notes, jot down vocab, and practice with the learned πŸ’Ž

You still might have these topics on the exam πŸ–₯

#essay
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30.03 exam Task 2.pdf
78.1 KB
7.0+ elements are highlighted ⚑️

#essay
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❀‍πŸ”₯2
28.03 exam Task 2.pdf
17.9 KB
πŸ’£ Without Body 3, T/R would be limited to 7.0, for sure.

➑️ one of the most important questions to answer in Ag/Dis essays is 'What would happen without your view?'

➑️ that is one of the very questions that examiners seek an answer to in your script, so without it, the odds are slim ❌

#essay
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❀‍πŸ”₯2❀1πŸ‘1
Young children should be punished in the same way as adults if they commit a serious crime (such as a violent attack or a robbery).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



Juvenile delinquency has been long debated, with some suggesting that the punishment for it should be as harsh as that for crimes committed by adults if young perpetrators resorted to a violent attack or a robbery. While I acknowledge some efficacy of this policy, I do not fully support it, as there are other, more effective approaches to take.

Holding young criminals as much as responsible for felonies as their adult counterparts can serve as a deterrent for others in society. Once the message that violent offenders, regardless of their age, are treated equally harsh, potential criminals are likely to reconsider their lifestyle due to the fear of imprisonment instilled. Besides, considering the duration of the sentence that young offenders are to be given for such heinous crimes as a brutal assault and a robbery, which is years in many countries, if not most, they are less likely to prefer those unlawful acts.

However compelling this argument may sound, I think its’ flaws are too consequential to be overlooked. Naturally, long jail time can definitely ruin the lives of the young imprisoned, as once released, they are not to be as enthusiastic and trainable as they were before, thus leading them to struggle securing a job. This poor employment prospect, ultimately, is bound to limit their social mobility. Prolonged sentence can also reduce the possibility of successful re-integration into society, because long years of exposure to a prison regimen and environment renders imprisoned youth overly adjusted to them.

Therefore, I contend that crime prevention measures and social programs should be set in place. With authorities assigning well-positioned bodies to monitor and curb criminal activity by building direct communication with the young repeatedly turning to misdemeanors or other vulnerable groups alike, communities in their neighborhoods are less likely to become plagued with crime. This counter-measure can be further enhanced if youth are to have regular counselling with psychologists, so that a helping hand is given when necessary. Given these policies, juvenile delinquency can be more productively curtailed.

In summary, though efficient to a degree, the standpoint that juvenile offenders should receive an identical punishment as adult offenders is not entirely valid in light of its trade-offs – poor social mobility and more challenging post-release adjustment for ex-prisoners. In my opinion, preventing crime and implementing social initiatives in the first place can be more sensible alternatives.


#essay
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Writeologist | W-8.5
Young children should be punished in the same way as adults if they commit a serious crime (such as a violent attack or a robbery). To what extent do you agree or disagree? Juvenile delinquency has been long debated, with some suggesting that the punishment…
A hybrid approach:

B1 - disagree 🎯
B2 - agree 🎯
B3 - agree, but with corrections making my point more relevant βœ”οΈ

πŸ“ˆ I've seen this move in examiners' and niners' essays, so it goes simple: in the last body, mention what is really relevant right now

#novelty
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Once again 'the hybrid approach' ⚑️


βž–Body 1 - agree πŸ“Œ
βž–Body 2 - agree πŸ“Œ
βž–Body 3 - agree with modern-day adjustments (again makes my point real) πŸ“Œ

#novelty
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Prison is the most effective punishment for people who break the laws.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Serving a sentence has long been a matter contention, with some suggesting it is the most efficient punishment for criminals. My firm conviction is that this policy does have multiple benefits, yet the punishment should be less draconian for juvenile offenders.

One key upside of punishing criminals is that their sentence serves as a deterrent for others in society. Seeing the life behind bars, prospective offenders are less likely to suffer the same fate as their fellows who have run afoul of the law, since both families and perpetrators themselves are at significant disadvantages – poor familial bonds and less promising post-release career prospects. When these two are broadcast to spread the message across all communities, would-be lawbreakers might reconsider their lifestyle to avoid such repercussions.

On top of this is another, more personal advantage – sufficient contemplative room. Once imprisoned, convicts have an adequate period of time to re-evaluate their life paths, gradually grasping the severity of and ethical concerns over their wrongdoings. Because this recalibration of mind can change over time the mindset and worldview of the imprisoned, the efficacy of prisons proves firmly positive, as those individuals may also steer clear of illegal activities in the long run.

Though productive at a glance, sentences should still be more lenient for young offenders. Naturally, these individuals often act impulsively, resulting in such detrimental outcomes as jail time, in contrast to their adult counterparts who are, more often than not, more intentional in their acts. This is the very difference between a serial killer and a 17-year-old convict, with both falling into the same category of criminals yet their intentions and social impact remain fairly different, not to mention underdeveloped practical skills and less promising career prospects the latter have after release. So, for the benefit of society and the young themselves, the punishment for juvenile delinquency has to be less harsh.

Overall, I contend that prisons as a means to punish offenders are a largely effective approach conferring two major merits: a deterring effect and contemplation. However compelling this may sound, I also assert that the punishment should be less severe for younger perpetrators to avoid unfairness and post-release issues.


#essay
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The maps compare the same area in 2009 and in 2014. Overall, the area’s green and public infrastructure experienced some transformations, transitioning its focus from a primarily industrial zone into a more resident-friendly place. The road system, however, was kept unchanged.

Green facilities of the place underwent a notable expansion, with all the industrial objects previously occupying the center being replaced by newly-planted trees. A lake and several trees around it, in contrast, were left untouched.

Public amenities were another area of improvement. Adding to the already existing school, convention center, fishing area, residential building and swimming pools, a block of three houses, one more pool, a harbor and a university were constructed, enhancing social infrastructure. These additions took place primarily in the central, northern, western and eastern zones.

Meanwhile, the road network was not subject to change, connecting the south-western corner with north-western and further north-eastern. Footpaths at the center were also retained, with a new stretch linking the harbor and road in the west.


#essay
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Writeologist | W-8.5
The maps compare the same area in 2009 and in 2014. Overall, the area’s green and public infrastructure experienced some transformations, transitioning its focus from a primarily industrial zone into a more resident-friendly place. The road system, however…
That is examiners' approach:

➑️ C/C is more complicated, but for the better (to show an ability to structure differently)
➑️ Vocab is totally sustained at its finest
➑️ 3 key features in the overview = 3 bodies explaining them
➑️ Details are summarized, not described separately (higher T/A)
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Public health care is becoming an urgent issue nowadays. Some people argue that governments should enact nutrition and food choice laws to improve public health, while others think that it is a matter of personal choice and responsibility.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.



Nutritious foods have been growing as a strong thread in the healthcare fabric of society, with some supporting mandating choices of such foods to make strides in public health. Other, however, point to individual liberty in this domain. While the latter belief does have some reasonable grounds, I believe the former bears greater weight.

The freedom of choice is one of the major arguments put forth by ethicists again the mandate of healthy dietary choices. They claim that exercising the right to choose or opt out of a certain food product is a prerequisite for a democratic society, so limiting it can be considered a societal downfall. On top of that, compulsory choices can also result in public resistance and potentially face public backlashes, if imposed nationwide and coercively. From an economic standpoint, this coercion is not well-justified, since income levels vary across regions in most countries, meaning income gaps can create a vicious cycle where the underprivileged may be deprived of nutritionally rich yet unaffordable, if so, food. Given these socio-economic repercussions, it is rational of authorities to avoid rendering healthy food choices judiciously grounded and leave them voluntary.

However compelling this view may sound, I am still convinced that legislative measures to coerce nutritionally optimal choice of foods are more effective. Not only do they ensure the timely implementation so that the prevalence of junk food can be reduced, but they can also bring about a culture where a nutritional value of food is carefully and thoroughly examined before the purchase is made. Putting this into perspective, these legislation reforms can be a powerful tool in reshaping dietary habits of the public, ultimately escalating its wellbeing. In some African tribes, for example, agricultural produce is the only food source during certain seasons, and their obesity levels are significantly lower compared to Western countries. This disparity can be attributed to the laws imposed by the leaders of the former party who, in pursuit of adhering to generational food choices, restrict the intake of anything but vegetables and fruits. Thus, the coercive policies in question can prove beneficial.

In summary, although the reliance on personal responsibility to enhance public health can be prudent due to deterred public dissatisfaction and democratic values, I side with those who support food choice mandates because of the potential, positive knock-on effects: less prevalent unhealthy foods and better-shaped dietary patterns among the general publi
c.


#essay
πŸ‘1
A game plan for an 8.0 ?
Anonymous Poll
38%
Task 1πŸ’₯
63%
Task 2 ♨️
Bombastic structure 1.0:


πŸ“In an economic context, where the mainstream industry being bound up to consumer behavior and mass production has become the norm, the rising similarity between countries can offer consumers a wider range of products and services and thus represent an economic benefit.


πŸ’₯In the example above, the structure is there to explain the idea


πŸ“ In a real-life context, where such ideas are considered utopian and marginalization of foreign ethnic groups has become the norm, the offer to preserve unique cultural heritage can make a big difference and represent a more sensible solution.


πŸ’₯ In this case, relating to the current time goes through this structure.


⚑️So, the frame goes as follows:

In an X context, where........have become the norm,........and represent......



#novelty
#grammar
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Films and games can be accessed at any time from mobile devices, like smartphones, tablets and laptop computers.

Do the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?


Watching movies and playing video games have long been debated, with having instant access to them via modern devices like smartphones, laptops and tablets being common. While this trend is beneficial in some respect, I contend that its downsides are more significant.

Gaining immediate access to films and games can provide a cathartic experience, aiding mentally exhausted people in relieving stress. While enjoying twists and turns of, for example, a comedy or shooting arrows in an online game, intrusive, negative thoughts are bound to lose their power, which, as a result, allows people to recover their energy. Another upside, one that is mostly the case with game players, is the development of skills. To elucidate, having a team to work on and strategies to use or improve, gamers are likely to nurture their team work, analytical and critical decision-making skills, all of which are also crucial in academic and professional lives. Some prevalent examples of such games are PUBG and Counter-Strike – the two video games that require a high level of group cohesion and perfect decision-making.

However compelling these merits may sound, I am still convinced that potential demerits overshadow them. Firstly, long exposure to screens can take a heavy toll on eyesight, posture and, in extreme cases, mental health, leading to addiction. These adverse effects have particularly been reported by healthcare professionals around the world, with children and young adults being the most affected. On top of that is another, no less considerable, drawback – poor interpersonal skills. Naturally, as peopleβ€”now more than everβ€”tend to spend long hours on film and game playing platforms, their real-life interactions within society may be reduced, thereby resulting in underdeveloped social abilities, from negotiation to public speaking. With such skills lagging behind, social life is bound to be limited to online communication, which is often known for being not the best substitution for face-to-face interactions.

To infer, although quick access to films and games via mobile devices offers a stress-reliving environment and cultivates some cognitive abilities, I assert that they confer even more consequential disadvantages: deterioration of mental and physical health, as well as poorly-developed person-to-person skills.


#essay
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-in so doing-

βž–That is an amazing fixed phrase which can reduce a long, redundant clause, showing the reader your ability to distill 2-3 sentences into 1, well-written and well-structured masterpiece.

‼️Example:

❌ The local authorities have recently introduced a nudging policy, and this was followed by an increase public satisfaction levels .

βœ… The local authorities have recently introduced a nudging and in so doing elevated public satisfaction levels.


#novelty
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Writeologist | W-8.5
I've submitted this essay to an examiner (Glyn) and given the 265-word count, it has pulled off an 8.0 overall. https://youtu.be/0eSSCu4riTU?si=3IkY7Urfi0J7JRJ0
Well, some reflection:

βž– undershot in persuasiveness when presenting the points (T/R suffered as a result)
βž– overshot in lexis (L/R got lowered because of that)

πŸ”₯But again, 7/9/8/9 is veeeeeery close to 8.5. This is amazing considering the word count. That is one more thing to be confident about as far as my proficiency goes πŸ†’
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To raise the profile of something⚑️

βž–meaning ( to raise public awareness of something) βœ…
βž–use (to paraphrase 'make more popular' or 'make others know') βœ…
βž–context (for a good cause, meaning positive) βœ…


‼️Example:

- Silent nutrition programs are not best-placed to raise the profile of consuming nutrition-dense food.

L/R is πŸ“ˆ

#novelty
#vocab
❀‍πŸ”₯1❀1
First, read this:
One primary benefit of modern teaching techniques is the versatility they offer. This is often the case as such approaches aim to provide students with an engaging environmentβ€”one that would curb the feeling of being confined to certain strict rules that most schools impose on. Feeling at liberty to express their thoughts and discuss nuances of the subject matter with classmates, students are more likely to gain a better understanding of the discipline, with schools also becoming places where student independence is not fettered, but rather fostered. Private schools could be seen in such light; though not affordable to people of all stations, these schools normally have competent staff driven by the desire to create an inclusive and stress-free atmosphere on lessons, which would translate into high academic performance. It is therefore justifiable for up-to-date techniques in teaching to be set in place.


Now, let's talk.

βž–What is different this time? Huh, you see, I've picked up too many things but have put to practice too few. So, a couple of off-the-chart expressions and grammatical moves are going to appear in further posts, too.

#novelty
#vocab
#grammar
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