I don't wanna sleep or talk or cut or cry or heal or fight or wake up or dream or live. I don't wanna breath .I am just fucking tired of everything.
Forwarded from apparently i’m still alive (Dandelion)
A wild longing for strong emotions and sensations seethes in me, a rage against this toneless, flat, normal and sterile life. I have a mad impulse to smash something, a warehouse, perhaps, or a cathedral, or myself…
—Hermann Hesse, from Steppenwolf
—Hermann Hesse, from Steppenwolf
While this anger is clearly visible for the whole world to see I find myself not in my body but as an outsider looking at myself wondering how I got these messed up or where the root of my anger lies.
Even my shrink won't understand how I can't breath out of nowhere...how the fuck am I gonna be able to explain smtn I don't even understand.