መቼ ልንኖር?

THE BOHEMIAN SERIES - ፪

[ አንድ ስለልቤ ~ "ልቤ ግራ አትግባኝ !" ]

ሰው የሰበረውን ፥ ሰው ይጠግነዋል
ሰይጣን የጣለውን ፥ አምላክ ያነሳዋል
የአምናውን መከራ ፥ ዘንድሮ ያስረሳል
ግን ከልብ ተኳርፎ ፥ ወዴት ይደረሳል?
"ኖርኩኝ" ይላል እንጂ ፥ ግዑዝ ሥጋው ባይሞት
ችሎ እንዴት ይኖራል ፥ ሰው ልቡ አስቀይሞት?

፨

ሆድማ ሞኝ ነው ፥ ደለልነው በጎመን
ቢታመም ፈወስነው ፥ የእንግሊዝ ጨው ቅመን
ስንቱን ደዌ እንዳልሻርን ፥ በጥበብ አክመን
አሁን መላ ጠፋን ፥ እኔም ልቤም ታመን!

፨

አይታለል ነገር ፥ በሸማና በሀር
የልብን ስለሚያውቅ ፥ ልብም እንደ እግዚሀር
"ሰምቶ ይመልሳል" ፥ ብዬ እንኳን ባላምነው
"ልቤ ግራ አትግባኝ" ፥ ብዬ ልለምነው!

ልቤ ግራ አትግባኝ !

ቀን ፊቱን አዞረ ፥ ተገላበጠብኝ
አናቅፎኝ ብወድቅ ፥ ሁሉ አላገጠብኝ
ዛሬ ሊወግረኝ ነው ፥ ትላንት ያመለከኝ
የእናቴ አንቀልባ እንኳን ፥ ቢያረጅ አሾለከኝ
በሁሉም ስሰ`ለች ፥ አንተ ግን አትታክተኝ
የገነት ደጆችን ፥ ፍኖት አመላክተኝ!

ልቤ ግራ አትግባኝ !

ተጋዳሊ አይደለሁ ፥ ወይ ከሃሊ-ኩሉ
ገረድ ፊት የምክድ ፥ እምነተ-ስንኩሉ
ሦስቴ የምከዳህ ፥ ጴጥሮስ ነኝ ችኩሉ
መልሰኝ እንደአውራው ፥ ብለህ አኩኩሉ
አብርድልኝ እንጂ ፥ የክደት ቁጣዬን
ከይሁዳ ወገን ፥ አትጣፈው እጣዬን!

ልቤ ግራ አትግባኝ !

ሲፍረከረክ አቅሜ ፥ ዓይኔ ሲስለመለም
ፊቷ ሲጠቁርብኝ ፥ ስትከፋብኝ ዓለም
ሲላቀቅ አንደበት፣ ጣትም ሲጠቋቆም
ጉልበት አቅም ሲያንሰው ፥ ዳኛ ፊት ለመቆም
ተሟገት ከአምላኬ ፥ ሁንልኝ ዕምባቆም!

ልቤ ግራ አትግባኝ !

ጠባቂ መልአክ ፥ ሆነህ ከጎኔ ቁም
ከከንፈር መጣጭ ጋር ፥ ጣትህን አትጠቁም
ዓቃቢ እንደመሆን ፥ አንተም አትክሰሰኝ
ጠበቃ አጣኹ እንጂ ፥ ከሳሽ መች አነሰኝ?

ልቤ ግራ አትግባኝ !

ልቤ ሆይ ልብህን ፥ ስለልቤ አባባት
ሁነኝ የቅርቤ ሰው ፥ ሁነኝ እናት አባት
ሰው ሁሉ ሲገፋኝ ፥ አንተ ተቀበለኝ
እንደልጅነቴ ፥ "እሹሩሩ" በለኝ!

ልቤ ግራ አትግባኝ !

መንፈሴ ሲታወር ፥ ሥጋዬም ሲረክስ
ጆሮዬ አልሰማ ሲል ፥ የሕሊናዬን ክስ
በሲኦል መንገድ ላይ ፥ በክደት ሳነክስ
የ`ሳት ሰይፍ ሁንና ፥ ከኩብለላ አግደኝ
ሸምግለኝ ከአምላኬ ፥ ከፈጣሪ አማልደኝ
እግዜር አንተን ወዷል ፥ አንተ እኔን ውደደኝ!

ልቤ ግራ አትግባኝ !

የኔ ያልከው ወዳጅ ፥ ሲሸሽህ ቀስ በቀስ
ስለሂያጁ ጥፋት ፥ እራስን በመውቀስ
ያንተ ያልነበረን ፥ አጣሁ ብሎ ማልቀስ
ከማን ተምረህ ነው ፥ የምታሳምመኝ?
ምን ባጠፋሁ ባንተ ፥ መታቀፍ የምመኝ?
በሰው ታምሜአለሁ ፥ በፍቅርህ አክመኝ!

ልቤ ግራ አትግባኝ !

የራስህን ስንጥቅ ፥ በገዛ እጅህ ጠግን
አንዳንዴም አሳየኝ ፥ ሰው የመሆን ወግን
ከጠላትህ ሳይሆን ፥ ከእኔ ጋራ ወግ'ን!
እስራቴን በጥስ ፥ ሆነህ የእሳት ላንቃ
ለሥጋዬ ሞቼ ፥ ልቤ ላንተ ልንቃ!

ልቤ ግራ አትግባኝ !

እምባህ ልሁን አምባኝ ፥ ሳቅህ ልሁን ሳቀኝ
ምነው እንደ ባዳ ፥ አንተም የምትርቀኝ?
ተው ብዙ አይቻለሁ ፥ ዓለም ፍዳ አጥግባኝ
የሕይወት ይበቃል ፥ ልቤ ግራ አትግባኝ!

፨ ፨ ፨

On the morning after my father's death I recieved a text from a friend. A quote from Joan Didion "Grief when it comes is nothing like we expect it to be"
That one sentence makes more sense than anything I have read or listened to in a long time. Cause grief took a completely new shape and form than what I had anticipated it to be. It took a color to which I was color blind to my whole life. Somedays it had no taste. Other days it devoured every part of me. Somedays I can mention his name without flinching. Others I crumble simply on the thought. I fidget. I yawn. I keep on talking yet I amnot aware of what I say. I move simply because I am scared I won't move again if I stop and think. Death doesn't only take love from you it also numbs you to every single tragic part of life including death itself. I feel like I have accepted it but then I mention that he is gone to someone and I recieve it as news once again. I pick a paper to write him and then the words refuse to cooperate as if they are scared to graft skin and bones to the reality that he is really gone. At the time where I am supposed to have been learning to let him go I find my heart consoling me to first accept it. But at the end of the day in all of this and everything else that I can't put into words......in the disruption of what was once normal and the harshness of reality I understand a tiny bit that grief indeed does just mean I love(still refusing to make it a past tense). And that if I was considered worthy enough to recieve his type of love I should also muster up the courage to recieve loss too. And accept love for all of its shades.

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@samuel_dereje

You have shed a tear so many times as a child and the sadness has taken away your childhood. Don't let it take away ወጣትነታችሁን!

"ዝብርቅርቅ ፍርቱና ግራ ነው እጣዬ
ጥርሶቼ ያለቅሳሉ ይስቃል እንባዬ
አላሽካካ ደልቶኝ ሳግ እየቀደመኝ
አዝኜ አይወጣልኝ ሳቅ እያመለጠኝ"

Four months ago today I lost my father. It was the worst day of my life. Today we welcomed a little girl into our family. Out of all days God chose this one. Its in this ways that he takes care of our hearts.

"ይህ ቀን ራሴን ባለመሆን አልባከነም...በመውጣት በመግባቴ ራሴን ላለማጉደል ሞክሬያለሁ...ጊዜ ገዝቻለሁ.. ለራሴ ታምኛለሁ ያም በቂ ነው"🖤


https://youtu.be/C6qboCAhUEY?si=wdfDA_Nasywsca1Z

ሰማይ ፍላጎታችሁን ለማሟላት እየተጋ ከፍጥረት ቀረብኝ ብላችሁ ራሳችሁን አታሳምሙ! ሰው በህመሜ አልተገኘልኝም ብላችሁ እናንተ ለሰው ከመድረስ አትጉደሉ... imparted to you is a greater love always remember that!

I’ve understood without my will the “this too shall pass”s of life never end. I don’t think we’re meant to truly grasp our potential for enduring. Because there’s always, always something you’re getting through and figuring out. It’s a first crush ending up in rejection “this too shall pass” onto the truest form of heartbreak “this too shall pass” and a failed career path of course “this too shall pass” it’s a getting a declined application and being fired “this too shall pass” a grief and finding life again “this too shall pass” it never, never ends. The trick is to stay still with everything that ebbs and flows. The trick is to pause for a moment and remember what it’s all about.

ሰዎች እንዴት ናችሁ? Just wanted to remind you that my DM is always open for anyone who wants to share anything or needs a stranger to talk to about anything or just wants to vent. Feel free to reach out.
@Chesed_29

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@HarderCopies

"ይሄ ነገር አስከፋኝ"

"አዝኜባችኋለሁ"

"ከብዶኝ ነበር"

"ደክሞኛል!"

"ምን ማድረግ እንዳለብኝ አላውቅም"

".......ማድረግ አልፈልግም"

"I feel comfortable around him/her"
"I don't want to be around them"

"I want to try this"

"I am not good at this"

የወደድኩትን ወደድኩ የጠላሁትን ጠላሁ ማለት አትፍሩ....ሰው ናችሁ.....whatever you are going through ራሳችሁን መስላችሁ ለመቅረብ ሞክሩ! የብረት ልብ ያላችሁ ይመስል አጉል ብርቱ ለመሆን አትሞክሩ! Give yourself space to be human freely and unapologetically. ያልሆናችሁትን ለመሆን ብላችሁ ያልታዘዘዘላችሁን ህመም አትታመሙ....ራስን እንደመሆን የመሰለ ነፃነት የለም!

Hello Everyone, We are trying to help a widowed single mother start a small business. If anyone wants to contribute(nothing is too little):

1000417636203-Yeabsira Tesfaye.

If you want additional info or want to support in any other way feel free to DM me.

The brain never lets go. If you've gone through something and didn't acknowledge or rationalize it, it'll stay in that corner forever. One of three things will happen. It resurfaces one day by an unexpected trigger, it becomes the straw on the camel's back along with other trauma, or your mind rebels by making you feel unexplainable somatic symptoms throughout your body. It's both fascinating and terrifying.

"Your dad died"...that's a sentence I feared I would listen to one day... I have thought of the many ways in which i would recieve those news....how I would react and how I would be able to live after that. I stopped existing in most of them. It was a fear that aged with me. And when that great fear finally became true I didnot know how to react.  I remember repeating "አይሆንም እየዋሸህ ነው!" To the person that told me he was gone.  በቃላቶቼ ድግግሞሽ እውነትን እየገዘትኩት ነበር የሚመስለው.....ትናንት በምናቤ ደጋግሜ ካሰብኩት በኋላ ውሸት እንደሚሆነው ውሸት እንዲሆን ውስጤ እየጠበቀ ነው መሰለኝ ዛሬም የእውነት ሄዷል ብዬ በማመን መንገድ ላይ ብዙ የተራመድኩ አይመስለኝም። የፍቅርን ደስታ ካጣጣምሽ የማጣትንም ፅዋ መጠጣትሽ ግድ ነው እያልኩ ነፍሴን አመክራታለሁ። ዛሬም ግን እፈራለሁ! አእምሮዬ ለእኔ እያሰበልኝ ይመስል እውነቱን እንደደበቀው ይሰማኛል። ውስጤ ትንሽ መቀበል ሲጀምር በህይወቴ ተሰምቶኝ የማያውቅ አይነት ህመም ይሰማኛል... በአላፊ አግዳሚው በረባ ባልረባው ሀሳቤን እየወጠርኩ ድብብቆሽ ከተያያዝኩ ቆየሁ! አመት ሞልቶ ቀኑ ሲደርስ የማልክደው እውነት አፍጥጦ ይመለከተኛል። ወዴት ይሸሻል?

መዳንን እናፍቃለሁ.....መታመምን ሳልጀምር ስቃዩን ፍርሃት አየሸሸሁ...ግን..... መፈወስን እሻለሁ! Though it took me a while to learn this I am finally accepting it...የሚዘለል የህይወት ምዕራፍ የለም! ሳይታመሙ መዳን የለም!