Being back home strikes all the same old feelings as fresh as new. From the dents on my mother's and father's face to a random space on the corridor where major fights went down, each space has a story of its own. Trying not to be triggered by it is another story.አምልጣችሁ የማታመልጡት ነገር የለም?....ሊውጣችሁ አሰፍስፎ የሚጠብቅ።
In each encounter I am reminded of how much of my father is "me" to a point where I am doubting if ever I was given space to have a part of me without the marks of my mother or father who also are resluts of their parents.
In every thought there are so many stories of forgiveness written. Behind being reminded of voices shouting constantly I am also reminded that there is also silent "I forgive you"s given for me to stand here sane today to remember it.
I am reminded mostly of all the burden of what I have to not pass to innocent souls and all of the things I have yet to relearn and most of all why it is important to forgive my parents for whatever wrong they did in raising me and my siblings. I realize that me and them are still liitle children both walking in the same shoes....paying the same debt we didn't acquire....both remenants of a long line of unspoken trauma. As I sit here teary eyed writing this overhearing my mom talk I only feel love(with all its bits of guilt,anger,regret, extreme attachment,reliance......) and all I can do is forgive her. Its feburary 15th and I am still understanding that forgiving that little me has a lot to do with forgiving them.
-Yeab T

“You can’t change people, you can only love them”

With every human I come across, there’s a me who yearns to mold them just like myself.
Beauty lies in all the patterns I unlearned about my idea of needing to only love people similar to me and learning new patterns of accepting them with all the differences I have with them.

I’ve been progressing with making interactions a lot, I listen and speak my mind more and I’m loving even more.
These few steps forward I’m taking are guiding my hands to tracing all the smooth and rough edges of love.

To love is to find your heart smiling at the sight of your people despite your misunderstandings or fights about minor ideas.
To love is to save a piece of gum in your pocket when they’re not with you.
To love is to talk to God about them.
To love is to find their names in your journals and conversations with your parents.
To love is to realize they’re not your ideal people but regardless you eat, laugh and cry with them.

You won’t find the perfect people, you just love each other through the trials of striving to be perfect for one another.

The type of things that fill your soul.🖤

.

Something for your eyes🖤

Because it gave my heart warmth🖤.

#እባካችሁ_ለቢኒ__እንድረስለት!!
BINI ቢኒን እዚህ መንደር የምታውቁት እና ስለ #Poetic_Saturdays ፖኤቲክ ሳተርዴይስ (#ግጥማዊ_ቅዳሜ) የጥበብ ምሽትን በአካልም ሆነ በኦንላይን የታደማችሁ፣ እንዲሁም ለሰዎች ፈጥናችሁ የምትራሩ ሁሉ ደጋጎች ሁሉ #ስለ_ቸርነታችሁ_ትለመናላችሁ!!!

ለብዙዎቻችን መሰባሰቢያ የነበረውንና በፈንዲቃ የባህል ማዕከል ሲዘጋጅ የነበረውን የጥበብ ምሽት ሲያስተባብርና ደፋ ቀና ብሎ ሲያገለግል የነበረው ባለብሩህ ፈገግታው እና ትሁቱ ወንድማችን ቢኒ ከ"#ብሬይን_ቲዩመር" ጋር እየታገለ ይገኛል። ... በአገር ውስጥ የመጀመሪያ ደረጃ ቀዶ ጥገና የተደረገለት ቢሆንም፣ ... በፍጥነት ወደ ሕንድ አገር ሄዶ መታከም ይኖርበታል!!!...

• ፈጣሪ ጨርሶ እንዲምረው በጸሎታችሁ አግዙት! አቅማችሁ የፈቀደውን በሁለት ወዳጆቻችን ስም በተክፈተው በቀጣዩ አካዉንት እርዱ።

የኢትዮጵያ ንግድ ባንክ
1000529173435

ከአገር ውጭ ያላችሁ ወዳጆች በክሪስ አማካኝነት በተከፈተው የgofundme አካዉንት እገዛችሁን አድርጉ።

https://gofund.me/da6fcd7f

Its not fair😭

Don't throw the word "love" everywhere in places where it doesnt belong and isn't sincerely felt.

These days I am forgetting that these type of human beauty even exists. Surrounded by what feels like a silent chaos that slowly suffocates you till you forget who you even were I got to a point of having several mental breakdowns. Several points where I thought it couldnt get any worse. Its tiny moments like this with huge relief that just pick you up and caress your heart. The random "ተባረኪ" from one of the guards in our uni was that tiny moment for me today. Incase you had that today or not this is a reminder to you that love and the joy of simple existence still exists. I love you.🖤
-Yeab T

There is some part of you that dies when someone you didn't expect to disappoints you. Nothing is the same anymore nomatter how much you tell yourself to let it go.

And this explained a lot more than any word I could ever say......

Guilt stings like a fresh wound. We may conceal it with a feeling of grief but our hearts always know exactly what it is.

Love however you want to love...silently...expressingly...in whatever way your heart tells you to. Don't bend its natural tendencies and desires of showing that it cares and that it does so deeply. You don't need the world applauding you in the back affirming it. Let your love love. Freely. Don't force your heart to learn a language that is not natural to it. Let it speak and if it chooses to added one or two others but never in that whole process silence what is naturally your own.
-Yeab T