What if you never had a past "home" to compare with it with? What if home was just always viewed from a far and not experienced to begin with? Or is that just me?

As it shows up in you too.

For now To have አያት to talk calmly to or to just suffocate my nephew with love would be a good coping mechanism can't lie.

I think we all deserve to be loved on how our hearts want to be loved. Specifically on our own way. A few weeks back i was talking with a friend and I asked him "Do you think we should love people on how they want to be loved or how we want to love them or can love them?" I don't remember what he replied it must not have been satisfying enough. But that single question cannot seem to leave my mind. Will it not be too much of a weight to love people for all their brokeness and needs however their heart requires? Will it also not limit the real essence of love if we tend to their hearts however we choose to and ignore all its "this is how and where you should love me" flags?
-Yeab T

Growing up without being shown any real form of affection is all fun and games until you grow up to be an adult who takes the most mundane and bare minimum actions as grand and expect less for themselves.

Some warmth for your heart.

Welp

I claim to love everyone. And in my own self-destructive twisted traumatized people-pleasing way I do. Yes, you don't have to tell me that it isn't love. But that's what I used to call it. I still have issues recognizing it and denying that it isn't. It's like those Chinese knock-off shoes. You put them on, thinking they are the originals but boy does the material burn against your feet. And now even against your heart. It burns even as badly as the metaphor I used.

.

There is something about midnight time that just sings out peaceful. Most coming from the world being asleep,your voices can roam around your mind freely. Without limits. Without having to be disturbed with unnecesarry purposeless conversations that won't do anyone any good. Even your most disturbing thoughts are somehow safe as if the timing is trying to fool you into thinking that your misery is ending too as the night ends and sunrise approaches. Coming back from the library which is in another building across the street from our dormitory....just walking that crossby looking both sides into the quiet streets I have to fight the urge to not just take a long walk at 8 in the midnight. I would just imagine what the guard will do and just kill the thought.But ማለም አይከለከልም.... He will Probably think I am possesed by a demon....

I think it will be a complete truth to say that I feel less alone in the night than the day time. There is this comforting company the moon,the night breeze and the peaceful SILENCE the give(not trying to romanticize or whatever) than a loved one's hug. I also feel more close to him at this time and everything he says flows through my soul abundantly.
-Yeab T

This!

some days are just like this. some days you miss physical touch much more.... not those inappropriate types but more of those touches only your mom can give you as you get crumpled inside her warmth making you feel safe and protected. the type of touch that feels like a stranger's smile on a bad day. Those "i got you" hugs. more of those "God got you" hugs. more of those "you are gonna make it through" hugs. cause it all doesn't seem like we might these days.