How do you know? How do you know you are protecting yourself from the effects of your trauma or living?
በመንገዴ
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFHUCDng/
Because i couldn't save it and she was able to say everything .
I was walking with a friend and he told me he has been in a good place these days. And that he especially feels a bit better today....in which he preceded to say "ለጤናዬ ይሁን"....it broke my heart to hear him say that. Because i also say those things to myself too. ደና መሆንን ፈርታችሁ ታቃላችሁ? like your happiness is running out like an hour glass and if ever you smile a little more or talk a little more....not torture yourself with negative thoughts or love a bit deeper and a bit more vulnerably it would run out faster....ከመኖር ራሳችሁን ገድባችሁስ ታቃላችሁ....ነገን ለማየት ዛሬን ከራሳችሁ ነጥቃችሁ?
-Yeab T
-Yeab T
A single phone call to my mom and I questioned whether I actually healed from all that holds me back or I havenot. Whether I have actually dealt and made peace with everything or just distance እያባበለኝ ነው ያለሁት....Denial becomes a way of living when things become heavy መሰለኝ....ለሰው የሚያደነዝዝ ህመም በድን እኔነቴን አልፎ መግባት ሲያቅተው ነበር የተረዳሁት....እራሴን እየሸነገልኩ በ"ምንም አልሆንሽም" ለደለልኩባቸው ቀናት ፍትህ ጠያቂ ማን ይሆን? ተቀባይስ? ከሳሽም ተከሳሽም አንድ ሰው ይሆናል እንዴ?
-Yeab T
-Yeab T
This media is not supported in your browser
VIEW IN TELEGRAM
Just a reminder in the morning that abeauty exists here too.🖤
Forwarded from #As_hannah_thinks
[HE knocks]
I know I don't let people in
I won't say I am working on it because I am not
In fact, my living room got no doors to begin with
But I have windows
Tons of them actually
That is my way of being outside
While living inside
To have as many windows as I can,
making sure nothing passes me by
Windows are also meant for escape,
When you are in need of a rescue
It is funny how I sometimes slam those windows shut and lock myself up
And while doing so, my heart tenderness knowing HE be knocking at my window
HE knocks, and HE doesn't need a door to do that
@as_hannah_thinks
I know I don't let people in
I won't say I am working on it because I am not
In fact, my living room got no doors to begin with
But I have windows
Tons of them actually
That is my way of being outside
While living inside
To have as many windows as I can,
making sure nothing passes me by
Windows are also meant for escape,
When you are in need of a rescue
It is funny how I sometimes slam those windows shut and lock myself up
And while doing so, my heart tenderness knowing HE be knocking at my window
HE knocks, and HE doesn't need a door to do that
@as_hannah_thinks
Ceasing life.
More of ceasing moments. Not for forever. Just for sometime. Till it passes you know. Experiencing it as it is. Is there a trick to live now just as it is? Without the effects of other parts in the timeline. The curses of yesterday or the fates of tommorow. እዚሁ ባለንበት ህመሙንም ደስታውንም ብንኖረው....በትላንትና በነገ ሳይጠመዘዝ....
እኔ ወይም ስሜቴ አንዳችን ራሳችንን ብናድን መልካም ነበር
-Yeab T
More of ceasing moments. Not for forever. Just for sometime. Till it passes you know. Experiencing it as it is. Is there a trick to live now just as it is? Without the effects of other parts in the timeline. The curses of yesterday or the fates of tommorow. እዚሁ ባለንበት ህመሙንም ደስታውንም ብንኖረው....በትላንትና በነገ ሳይጠመዘዝ....
እኔ ወይም ስሜቴ አንዳችን ራሳችንን ብናድን መልካም ነበር
-Yeab T
የሰው ልጅ ልክ እንደ ጀማሪ ሌባ ነው። ዳናውንና አሻራውን ትቶ የሰረቀውን ሰርቆ ያደማውን አድምቶ ይሮጣል። "በራስህ ሰበብ ፍንጭ ሰጥተህ ነው"....."ባዳ ዘመድ መስሎሽ አስገብተሽ ነው...የራስሽ ጉዳይ!" እንዳትባይ ፍትህ ሰጪ ጋር አልሮጥሽም.....ብዙ ልብስ አጥባችሁ አስጥታችሁ ሳታስገቡ እንደረሳችኋት ቀይ ቲሸርት....ባልታሰበ ሰአት ትውስ እንደምትላችሁ....የወደድናቸው ሰዎች ጠባሳ እንደዚያው ነው....ሳይናገር እንደመጣ እንግዳ መሶብ ባዶ ሆኖ የምታቀርቡለት እንዳጣችሁ....ቀበርኩ....ዳንኩ ያላችሁት ቁስል በጠረናቸው ደቃቅ ትውስታ መልሶ ሲያገረሽ...."እናቴ ድረሽ" እስክትሉ ፍትህ መላሽ የምታጡበት....ተጠያቂ የሚጠፋበት
-Yeab T
-Yeab T
Media is too big
VIEW IN TELEGRAM
Because she wrote a better version of my day to day unending thoughts🖤
Why do we as remenants of our parent's problems and mistakes get to be the ones who have to apologize for who we were forced to become....if we didnt choose why do we have to hold our breath for the multitude of behaviours we breath into our todays that smell so much like yesterday?