For those who have lived with pain for so long its neccesary for them to romanticize the pain
-Yeab T🖤-
-Yeab T🖤-
I was on a road today and I saw places and people and I felt bad for them.These people that I have seen and places I wandered through were in the middle of nowhere and I felt bad because I thought they would never get to see what I have seen..these buildings and cars and people who wear lavish clothes in order to hide their bruises and pasts they can't seem to forget and then it hit me...what did all that chaos bring me...what did those rich and modern people do for me...did they listen?did they see me beneath my clothes?no they didn't...so if those people form the countryside had seen me...would they envy me? if those faces became witness to my ruthless past and see the mother that raised me would they have felt bad for me in reverse?would their eyes fill with tears?and maybe ask me...(a homeless orphan)...to maybe come and feel at home among their never ending children and their grasses and their festivals and their dances and their home which I dared to belittle...maybe find me a mom to fix me again...or maybe read my palms and show me where home is...or even baptize me in in their lakes and rivers as jesus did.maybe then my wrists will finally be sown shut never to open again and remind me the terrible life I have lived...or maybe they would hide me in the chaos and voices of not my inner demons but actual people who feel at home wherever they are...make me forget the scent of my empty house I have gotten used to for a long time and make the smell of sweat and breath a scent never to forget...and if I dared to ask them to save me pushing all my anxiety and my depression and all my problems down would they help me?even more if they would be happy to help me would I feel at home at last?I dont think so...but I hope I do...so if this piece of writing that holds all of me ever reaches God I want him to know it's time to search for his lost sheep cause she have wandered enough...purposeless for so long...shared enough meal with the devil...said cheers to enough posion and that it's time for her to feel at home............At last
-Yeab T🥀-
-Yeab T🥀-
Forwarded from ᴋᴀʟɪɴᴀ🐣💔+ (ᴋᴀʟɪɴᴀ 🦋)
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. ዝም ብለህ ቀጥል
በአገልጋይ ዮናታን አክሊሉ
አጭር መልዕክት
@ᴋᴀʟɪɴᴀᴍᴏᴅᴀ👑
በአገልጋይ ዮናታን አክሊሉ
አጭር መልዕክት
@ᴋᴀʟɪɴᴀᴍᴏᴅᴀ👑
Mere Thoughts 🖤
A mere thought you could somehow relate too. Any of you wandering soul you may join for we all are still wandering.
https://t.me/merethoughts
A mere thought you could somehow relate too. Any of you wandering soul you may join for we all are still wandering.
https://t.me/merethoughts
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СИСТЕМА в хаосе | Истории, мысли и личный опыт
От хаоса к порядку: мои шаги, мысли и результаты.
Личные истории
Я не претендую на экспертное мнение!
Личные истории
Я не претендую на экспертное мнение!
Was this going to be easy?Did I for a second think this was going to be as easy as faking a smile?No,ofcourse not.Did it ever came to my mind that I would wake upon a Friday morning and be able to do this without any harm done to my soul I had long lost?was I in a million years ever lost in the thought of having any sort of power that could make me finish this tiresome road I am gonna have to battle(this one much harder than the past)?I donot think I am able.But I need to know what it's like to try to find light in the darkness not only surrendering to it.most of the time I only let myself feel by that listening to it and doing whatever it asked of me no matter how much it drained me.I always carried the weight as it is...never known what it feels to put even an ounce of it off my shoulder one by one...I have to know.I have to tiptoe towards the healing path.If my second life was supposed to be versatile in his mind...somehow colorful then grey mustn't be the only color he used cause that wouldn't make him no different of a painter.If he is the almighty as they speak of then there need to be more and I NEED TO KNOW.
-Yeab T🖤-
-Yeab T🖤-
If ever healing crosses your thought catch it and fight to not let it go
You could ask a blind man what colour the sky is and he will confidently tell you its blue...not because he has seen it but because the world has always said it is....for me if you ask me about love and happiness I will tell you its joy...I will tell you it flourishes the soul....i will carefully structure words to make you believe that those tiny yet complex words..ya those two they delight....but all not because I felt them but because i had been well preached"God loves the ratched and is there with the lonely ones....he cares for the sinners."does he cares for the sinners tho?? Even those who want to end the life given to them....even those who cut.i wonder.cause all the love I see being given to the worshipers and the loved doesn't caress me...in the stretts lovers holding each other's hands filled with blemish......i see mothers who stay.parents who care for the body they crafted..siblings who care.....everything...all....each single piece of thing that screams love ...all of it around me..yet not within me....not beneath my scars....all which scraped off them and made them worse rather than healing them...
@wordsofpain
@wordsofpain
I am like that cheese that becomes alone at the end of that nursery rhyme
@wordsofpain
@wordsofpain
I would rather be anywhere but here...here where you hear mumbles of the devil...its whispers telling you to hurt whatever you might be feeling ...where cults sing in joy here in the midst of all hatred it hurts and in all that...now for a moment your arms are good....I can rest in them .
-Straight out of the trash can-
@wordsofpain
-Straight out of the trash can-
@wordsofpain