When you were sending me "Good morning dear" I did not care, when you were sending me "Chop onions now" I used to say, and what do I care about onions? When you were sending me “I braided my hair two braids” I used to say “You are ridiculous” When you send to me “I talk to our neighbor Fatima about her problems with her husband Saeed” I used to say what I like to do with your neighbor’s trivial life? Now that you are gone, I am still looking at the letters of my letters, looking for the details of your day, feeling confused about your hair, braiding it or letting it drop over your shoulders. I would like to know when I woke up and what are you doing now. Your details, which I have always used to belittle, are making light of me now and making me a fool.

This is what I always do😂😂

I’m so lazy that I’ll keep pressing keys hoping that autocorrect will realise “bwaycxesqgfgese” was meant to be “because”😪

I wanted my life to be like this...I want to wake up one day and feel the butterflies back in my chest just like the circus said...I want my life to be more of me experiencing things and less of me trying to out run my anxiety in everything I do

ْ
If you fall in love with me, it is fair to know what you will really fall in love with, because you will fall in love with my lack of security, my anxiety about trying to know what people think about me, you will fall in love with immaturity, and my constant need to feel that I am loved and appreciated

You will fall in love with my hyperactive channels, my addiction to the internet, my inclination to jump to conclusions, my emotional historical upheaval, and my dreams that seem to you to be illogical or realistic and my belief in achieving them though.

You will fall in love with my barbarism, my emotions, my mood, my extreme nervousness, and how emotionally I am hopeless .. despite my enthusiasm for opinions and deeper writing!

If you were to fall in love with me, then know that you would fall in love with my feelings of hate for myself sometimes, and I am certain that no one can give me love, and the history that made me believe in this ..
However, you will also fall in love with the laughter of my eyes when we are together, and make sure to send a morning message that does not wish you a beautiful day, and sweet dreams at night. Be sure to hold your hand even as we quarrel, though for me, the most important thing is that you fall in love with me.

I like the lack of my patience, the fierce spells of my jealousy, and the times when I have no feeling ... I like how I behave sometimes like children, while at other times I am the most serious person you deal with! I love my scars, my marks, and all the things that make me less complete. I like all my details and parts, good and bad, and in particular, I like what can be considered flaws ..
Love me as a whole ... or do not love me at all

My daddy never knew that I ran from home because I had to survive for him..........



Because unlike others home isn't safe for me...Home is not home for me...
-Yeab T🥀-

For those who have lived with pain for so long its neccesary for them to romanticize the pain
-Yeab T🖤-

I was on a road today and I saw places and people and I felt bad for them.These people that I have seen and places I wandered through were in the middle of nowhere and I felt bad because I thought they would never get to see what I have seen..these buildings and cars and people who wear lavish clothes in order to hide their bruises and pasts they can't seem to forget and then it hit me...what did all that chaos bring me...what did those rich and modern people do for me...did they listen?did they see me beneath my clothes?no they didn't...so if those people form the countryside had seen me...would they envy me? if those faces became witness to my ruthless past and see the mother that raised me would they have felt bad for me in reverse?would their eyes fill with tears?and maybe ask me...(a homeless orphan)...to maybe come and feel at home among their never ending children and their grasses and their festivals and their dances and their home which I dared to belittle...maybe find me a mom to fix me again...or maybe read my palms and show me where home is...or even baptize me in in their lakes and rivers as jesus did.maybe then my wrists will finally be sown shut never to open again and remind me the terrible life I have lived...or maybe they would hide me in the chaos and voices of not my inner demons but actual people who feel at home wherever they are...make me forget the scent of my empty house I have gotten used to for a long time and make the smell of sweat and breath a scent never to forget...and if I dared to ask them to save me pushing all my anxiety and my depression and all my problems down would they help me?even more if they would be happy to help me would I feel at home at last?I dont think so...but I hope I do...so if this piece of writing that holds all of me ever reaches God I want him to know it's time to search for his lost sheep cause she have wandered enough...purposeless for so long...shared enough meal with the devil...said cheers to enough posion and that it's time for her to feel at home............At last
-Yeab T🥀-

. ዝም ብለህ ቀጥል
በአገልጋይ ዮናታን አክሊሉ
አጭር መልዕክት

@ᴋᴀʟɪɴᴀᴍᴏᴅᴀ👑

Mere Thoughts 🖤
A mere thought you could somehow relate too. Any of you wandering soul you may join for we all are still wandering.
https://t.me/merethoughts

Is love a blessing or a curse?

Was this going to be easy?Did I for a second think this was going to be as easy as faking a smile?No,ofcourse not.Did it ever came to my mind that I would wake upon a Friday morning and be able to do this without any harm done to my soul I had long lost?was I in a million years ever lost in the thought of having any sort of power that could make me finish this tiresome road I am gonna have to battle(this one much harder than the past)?I donot think I am able.But I need to know what it's like to try to find light in the darkness not only surrendering to it.most of the time I only let myself feel by that listening to it and doing whatever it asked of me no matter how much it drained me.I always carried the weight as it is...never known what it feels to put even an ounce of it off my shoulder one by one...I have to know.I have to tiptoe towards the healing path.If my second life was supposed to be versatile in his mind...somehow colorful then grey mustn't be the only color he used cause that wouldn't make him no different of a painter.If he is the almighty as they speak of then there need to be more and I NEED TO KNOW.
-Yeab T🖤-

If ever healing crosses your thought catch it and fight to not let it go