I want to sleep with you – to fall asleep and to sleep... Simply – sleep. And nothing further. No, also: to burrow my head into your left shoulder, my arm on your right shoulder – and nothing further. No, also: to know even in the deepest sleep that it is you.

There is always gonna be a time in time where your heart breaks listening to the slowly fading church instrumental music and you can't lie and admit there will always be something broken that will never be found. That is too hard for your heart to understand. You put your hands out to your heart and wait for a hand to reach. Maybe for the little child in you you so long abandoned or your pieces but................nothing......no reply.

Do tell, how was it like before the grief?
Before the constant banters and burn outs for validation?
When was the last “I love you” uttered?
The last warm embrace?
When did it start feeling like a lonely cave?
When?

“Finally, in a low whisper, he said, ‘I think I might be a terrible person.’ For a split second I believed him - I thought he was about to confess a crime, maybe a murder. Then I realized that we all think we might be terrible people. But we only reveal this before asking someone to love us. It is a kind of undressing.”
― Miranda July, The First Bad Man

What if it was me & you?

"Write to me" you said as if writing about you is the most loving thing I did in the process of loving you. Rupi Kaur once said,"I love you means I want to love you". Loving has to be such a strange concept to ever wallow in people's heart. Love has to be the strangest thing to caress my body in this time of my life. Wanting to love you but not letting myself to has to be the greatest crime I committed in my heart. For that I face the trial of longing you in the times I don't even want a single breathing human near me. So tell me what do you posses to devour this dead self?what is it about your finger tips making me long this deprived body a touch? Tell me what is it about your voice that makes me feel the moment you breath? Tell me why do I envy your chords and the air that makes love to your thoughts? Tell me what is it about your eyes that makes me want to stare deeply at? I don't look at people in the eyes. What is different about you? Tell me why is it that you are who nurtures my soul even being this far? Tell me why your guarded selflessness and hidden loving nature is so vibrantly visible to my blind heart? Tell me why you chose my heart to settle on out of all the loving deserving places that passed by you? Tell me why this words don't feel enough? Tell me why loving is as complicated as it is? Tell me why I am telling you this? Tell me how I. A no good human. Will ever find myself a good enough of a human being for you? Tell me why holding me in your palms is your insurance of never losing me? Tell me? I am not even my own self. Constantly losing myself in all the people I loved as I did in you. Constantly doubting my own true identity. Wanting to tame normal human qualities to be easy to be loved by one who committed such a bad act to be cursed by his mother to end up in my path. Second by second being absorbed in a darkness I can never figure out even after living with it since my childhood days. I don't know how to let "love" love me. Love is foreign to accept. Tell me how I can learn to hold you and love you the way I want to while constantly trying to find energy to move and be a human. So if in the smallest chance you felt the sincerity in this I hope my heart's deepest desires of loving you warms your heart for me as I would if I had you.
-Yeab T🌬

How do you unknow a person????????

Dm when identified how.abeg😭