Made my night. Brightened my heart I swear. Love you girl.🖤

i cried again today. i did that thing where i write a speech i'll never recite, in my head. it felt nice for a while, to imagine being someone else, someone braver.

@emotional_earthquake

perhaps you would have loved me if you had known the real me:
the poetic,
climb up to the roof just to have a better look at the stars, me.
the me that would probably unravel
by your touch alone, because i loved you that much.

@emotional_earthquake

I am tired of always having to compromise, to endure, to tolerate, to morph myself into different forms that are accommodating enough. I am tired of having to sacrifice pieces of what I am so someone else can fit in.

I am tired because it's not fair that I love so hard, so cautiously and it's not reciprocated. How am I friends with people that I would so consciously pay attention to yet there are insensitive to my own feelings? Why can't my boundaries be respected like I respect theirs? Why can't my excitement be shared like I share in theirs? Why am I never on the receiving end of unconditional love?
How can these people I love so much be so ignorant about me? So clueless?

ሽርፍራፊ………

I chose you a little house in my heart. I would have liked to give you its key, but the door has a serious architectural flaw. Sometimes it is opened wide and everything is allowed in, and sometimes it is closed completely, so that nothing escapes from it. I tried to fix it to no avail, then I learned to accept it as it is. Controlling what enters the heart is an illusion, but I promise you the door is always open to you. Look, I hung beautiful, quiet paintings of you on the walls. I think you will like it. We can rearrange it together every day. Also, I distributed candles to you in almost every corner. There are dark corners that never reach the light. Don't get close to her alone. Forgive piles of books, coffee cups, and paper on the floor. I've accepted chaos in my life and no longer know how to put things in order. I know it's cold, and I hear the wind blowing around the house. Curtains dance over the windows. That is why I set up the fireplace in the heart of the house, and cut the wood myself this morning. Maybe that's why I'm tired. To be honest, I'm tired all the time. All I want is to rest. Just to rest. That's why I built you a little house in my heart.‌‌