Pablo sold his paintings for the services of prostitutes while Carlos was depressed because a woman rejected him. They were both totally broke and carlos, the drug addicted drunkard, depended on pablos paintings for everything.

The two best friends, barely 20 year olds, left paris and returned to spain but pablo had enough of Carlos' dependency and troubling behavior so he sent him away. and Carlos went back to paris.

One tragic night, Carlos was in the cafe with the girl who had rejected him and other friends. He tried to shoot her first. He missed. Then he just shot himself. The suicide was too violent and public. Pablo was striken with grief and went into a depression. feeling guilty for abandoning carlos when he needed him the most.

He tackled the sorrow with art, and this was how the blue period was born. everything he painted was blue themed. but this particular painting, La Vie, was the pinnacle of the blue era.

The male figure is his friend Carlos. Pablo painted his left leg stepping forward and his fingers making a pointing gesture, sort of a version of Carlos he'd never seen- a version where Carlos was active and taking control of his life. He also gave him the sexual affection of a woman leaning to his chest, something he had trouble finding when he was still alive. And also a family unit- the maternal love and a baby. All encompassing to the painting's title- Life.

when i look in the mirror, i can see my 6-year-old self and i always whisper “i’m sorry” as if i could comfort that little child.

• @regretletters •

When are you going to stop searching with your wandering eyes onto the world and look inside and realize that home is in your heart?

I WILL KEEP BURNING MY BRIDGES DOWN IF IT KEEPS YOU ALIVE.💔

Finally, in a low whisper, he said, “ I think I might be a terrible person." For a split second I believed him - I thought he was about to confess a crime, maybe a murder. Then realized that we all think we might be terrible people. But we only reveal this before asking someone to love us. It is a kind of undressing.

And I realize that no matter where I am, whether in a little room full of thought, or in this endless universe of stars and mountains, it’s all in my mind.

"...............................ችዬ የማላያቸው ነገሮች አሉ.................."

Marie,my girl,the love of my life.

....About how drugs were destroying my ability to love you and your ability to love me.

Sometimes one has to put aside the idea of the tenderness and sensitivity of his feelings, and remember that he is strong, and that these days, with their weight, their injustice, their misery, will pass now, or tomorrow, or after twenty years, and to believe that this life will give him something one day, something that may not last even for one day. But it will give and this pain will end, even for a few hours. When they ask you about the true war of the soul, tell them that the truest battle is your ability to make this heart pure, fit for human life after all those surprises, pitfalls, failures and defeats, the real battle is your war with your heart so that it remains white despite all those battles, the human features in you never change.