Forwarded from A depressed wimpy kid's note (Eyob🥀)
I never know how to explain depression to someone. It’s so different for everyone and comes in so many different forms. Some people describe their depression as a weight that holds them down, ever-present and demanding of their time. Others describe it as a shadow that looms in the back of your mind, always taunting and jabbing and trying to tear you down. Some days, you just have thicker skin. And then sometimes, depression is described like drowning. It’s wading in an ocean of poison and barely catching your breath before you’re dragged back under.
I am always fighting this constant battle with myself. I may smile and laugh and seem happy, but know that, somewhere, in the back of my mind I'm struggling. The happy interludes, the in-between where the weight doesn’t feel as heavy, are simply vacations from the reality that is my depression.
It makes me feel like a failure, no matter my successes. I feel worthless and like I’m a burden on everyone around me.
That life isn’t beating me, no way. I’m too stubborn for that. I have to pretend that there isn’t some rabid animal inside of me, clawing to get its grip around my throat and snuff out my life.
People who don’t have depression don’t understand. But they can still be there for people like me. When they say something that scares you, don’t yell. Don’t get angry because you don’t comprehend how their mind works.
My mind is a scary place. I shouldn’t need to open up and spill my darkness for your compassion.
I am always fighting this constant battle with myself. I may smile and laugh and seem happy, but know that, somewhere, in the back of my mind I'm struggling. The happy interludes, the in-between where the weight doesn’t feel as heavy, are simply vacations from the reality that is my depression.
It makes me feel like a failure, no matter my successes. I feel worthless and like I’m a burden on everyone around me.
That life isn’t beating me, no way. I’m too stubborn for that. I have to pretend that there isn’t some rabid animal inside of me, clawing to get its grip around my throat and snuff out my life.
People who don’t have depression don’t understand. But they can still be there for people like me. When they say something that scares you, don’t yell. Don’t get angry because you don’t comprehend how their mind works.
My mind is a scary place. I shouldn’t need to open up and spill my darkness for your compassion.
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Remind yourself this everytime your heart wants to set out into the universe to chase happiness...nomatter how painful.
Forwarded from Seville.
"Things will go on as they have done up until now. They'll go from bad to worse. Things will go on, and then one day it will all be over."
- Amour
@bleedingcolors
- Amour
2012@bleedingcolors
Forwarded from the invisible core of st. pluto (Ivy)
Things to Do in the Belly of a Whale
Measure the walls. Count the ribs. Notch the long days. Look up for the blue sky through the spout. Make small fires with the broken hills of fishing boats. Practice smoke signals. Call old friends, and listen for echoes of sitting voices. Organize your calendar. Dream of the beach. Look each way for the dim glow of light. Work on your reports. Review each of your life’s ten million choices. Endure moments of self-loathing. Find the evidence of those before you. Destroy it. Try to be very quiet, and listen for the sound of gears and moving water. Listen for the sound of your heart. Be thankful that you are here, swallowed with all hope, where you can rest and wait. Be nostalgic. Think of all the things you did and could have done. Remember treading water in the center of the still night sea, your toes pointing again and again down, down into the black depths
— Dan Albergotti
Measure the walls. Count the ribs. Notch the long days. Look up for the blue sky through the spout. Make small fires with the broken hills of fishing boats. Practice smoke signals. Call old friends, and listen for echoes of sitting voices. Organize your calendar. Dream of the beach. Look each way for the dim glow of light. Work on your reports. Review each of your life’s ten million choices. Endure moments of self-loathing. Find the evidence of those before you. Destroy it. Try to be very quiet, and listen for the sound of gears and moving water. Listen for the sound of your heart. Be thankful that you are here, swallowed with all hope, where you can rest and wait. Be nostalgic. Think of all the things you did and could have done. Remember treading water in the center of the still night sea, your toes pointing again and again down, down into the black depths
— Dan Albergotti
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