A work from almost a year ago...hope you like it.

Enjoy loves🖤

Melancholy without hope...

I spent my whole life looking for answers, because I think the next answer will change something, maybe make me a little less miserable. And I know that when I run out of questions I don't just run out of answers, I run out of hope.

We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster that we go bankrupt by the age of 30 and have less to offer each time we start with someone new.but to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything...what a waste!

Masterpiece of a movie!

Indeed a fucking masterpiece

I used to imagine adventures for myself, I invented a life, so that I could at least exist somehow.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky 

I wanna be SEEN and LOVED for who I truly am for once in my entire life.

"You know what malcolm I feel like once you know someone is there for you...once you know they love you,you never actually think of them again"

"It is until you are about to lose someone that you finally pay attention."

......unfortunately noone can really write me except you.

Why do you like being hurt,traumatized and fucking eviscerated?
It isnot normal. Its not healthy

"You know what I just realized marie it's not about justifying your existence...its not. It's about you being so scared and so selfish that you have to break me down...second guess everything I do...am i mediocre? Can i do this without her? I don't know i better ask marie,maybe marie will know the answer,where is marie, I need marie...marie where did you go? Did you see that performance?what did you think? You liked it? Yea,me too. God forbid.....that's what this all is about...your whole speech about fake films. YOU JUST NEED A REASON TO BE NEEDED BECASUE IF I DONT NEED YOU THEN WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH YOU MARIE?
YOU WANT CONTROL BECAUSE YOU CAN'T IMAGINE THE REASON I AM WITH YOU IS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU...I JUST LOVE YOU BABY."

"I don't need you but I love you...there is somebody on this planet that just loves you. I love the way your mind works marie. I do. I love the way you see the world. I love the way you think. Your instincts and I am so fucking grateful because everything that you have been through...EVERYTHING...that's what made you YOU. That's what made you you. The girl that I love. The girl that I fuck with."

Do you wanna know the part that's based on you?.......THE PART WHERE SHE LOATHES HERSELF SO MUCH
BECAUSE OF ALL THE GUILT AND THE SHAME THAT SHE CAN'T LET THE GOOD IN.....HER INABILITY TO FATHOM THAT THERE IS SOMEONE ON THIS PLANET THAT JUST LOVES HER DESPITE HER NOT LOVING HERSELF. That's you. That's the part that isn't fiction.🖤🖤🖤

Just finished watching malcolm and marie and I am left speechless.🖤

They say they will but they don't stick around.

It’s one of those days that feel endless to me, when I feel like I shouldn’t exist or just have a heart of stone. My heart feels heavy, my eyes are tired of hoping for better things from people who always disappoint. I’m sorry that this still hurts so much, that you cannot just say certain things out loud because you’re afraid of people’s eyes. I prevented you from healing the scars you got because I thought that was the best thing to do for you to forget. I locked and caged you into your bad memories because I thought that was the best. I did that because I didn’t want you to feel the different pain you’ve felt before. But I was wrong. I’m so sorry for underestimating you. I’m sorry for not realizing that you’re so much more than what I thought of you. You fought even when part of me tried to silence your voice, you spoke even when I didn’t want anyone to hear your little voice. I can say this enough, thank you for giving me more chances, thank you for trying even when you knew you’d fail. Being you is hard especially when there are people who don’t like whoever you are becoming. I’m proud of you for never giving up on yourself.

Love,
The new me.

My love for this woman and everything that she is🖤