Love

And how build and break and how we find pleasure in the process.

Humans.

The ocean.

We do try so hard to deny ourselves the truth don't we....we make ourselves believe that the antidote for our heart is that hope we hold dearly to our heart..whether it is being loved one day or being happy or forgiving or changing or healing or maybe even thinking that we would wake up one day and not only breathe but live...we are surely the dreamers...the hopefuls...the travelers with no clear destination...you and I were like that strangers who found their home in eachother..or atleast where I found my home though I couldn't be sure about you...you and i gave chances yoo many times...we expected so much from the world...my time with you lasted like a sip from a cup...the sip that ruined you...the sip that took your father away every single moment...your heart became scarred and ached just as the burning the sip of the alcohol creates as it runs down your father's throat taking breath away from him and you...from him his days and from you your life...but I always felt in your words that you didnt blame him for forgetting to be there...you never held a grudge for never being able to see the real him...to know him and his words while he was perfectly sober....you never showed how you felt sad for him never having the conversation you were thirsty for all your life...all these cause you knew he had to had face too much pain to try to forget it for moments even if it took life from him...all cause you knew he was brave enough to find the peace you seeked and didnt dare to find...cause some part of you saw him as this hero with thousands of battles that left mark in his heart,his face,his mind,his everything...you would always glow up as you tell me about him...the funny things he does...how he never socialized...how he held it all inside though it killed him day by day...how he fell once and became afraid of falling all his life...how life dragged him so harshly through the mud and how it all became so riddled for you to understand how he got the might to bear all that physical and mental pain by himself all alone...it was right then that I knew I messed...that I knew I totally ruined you when I came across the fact that no matter how little it is I planted this bit of hope in your heart that i might actually save you from the life your father lived and all those before him...how I wouldn't let you crumble infront of me piece by piece until there is nothing left of you and I lost..I surrendered for the demons that told me I was no good...so I started letting go of the hands I gripped so tight moment by moment by moment as stars became formed and eyes blinked and air got exhaled I let you go...and once more I run out of stitches to mend you..I accepted the truth as I am not the one with the glue...I caged you for too long thinking I could have the power to give you the peace and that sense of calmness and home feeling...trapped your wandering and eager heart from finding the soul brave enough for you...it all dawned me the fact I couldn't love you enough and moreover me holding you hostage..as times passed this abience filled me not because I hated you but because I loved you enough to drive you away...I wonder where you are now...and if you found what you seeked...you went but were in my dreams and it filled me with happiness...did you die?did you get that blackout you almost got that day..or are you still wandering my love..my seeker...climber...my girl with overflowing melancholy...shattered soul..
-Yeab T🥀

A work from almost a year ago...hope you like it.

Enjoy loves🖤

Melancholy without hope...

I spent my whole life looking for answers, because I think the next answer will change something, maybe make me a little less miserable. And I know that when I run out of questions I don't just run out of answers, I run out of hope.

We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster that we go bankrupt by the age of 30 and have less to offer each time we start with someone new.but to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything...what a waste!

Masterpiece of a movie!

Indeed a fucking masterpiece

I used to imagine adventures for myself, I invented a life, so that I could at least exist somehow.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky 

I wanna be SEEN and LOVED for who I truly am for once in my entire life.

"You know what malcolm I feel like once you know someone is there for you...once you know they love you,you never actually think of them again"

"It is until you are about to lose someone that you finally pay attention."

......unfortunately noone can really write me except you.

Why do you like being hurt,traumatized and fucking eviscerated?
It isnot normal. Its not healthy

"You know what I just realized marie it's not about justifying your existence...its not. It's about you being so scared and so selfish that you have to break me down...second guess everything I do...am i mediocre? Can i do this without her? I don't know i better ask marie,maybe marie will know the answer,where is marie, I need marie...marie where did you go? Did you see that performance?what did you think? You liked it? Yea,me too. God forbid.....that's what this all is about...your whole speech about fake films. YOU JUST NEED A REASON TO BE NEEDED BECASUE IF I DONT NEED YOU THEN WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH YOU MARIE?
YOU WANT CONTROL BECAUSE YOU CAN'T IMAGINE THE REASON I AM WITH YOU IS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU...I JUST LOVE YOU BABY."

"I don't need you but I love you...there is somebody on this planet that just loves you. I love the way your mind works marie. I do. I love the way you see the world. I love the way you think. Your instincts and I am so fucking grateful because everything that you have been through...EVERYTHING...that's what made you YOU. That's what made you you. The girl that I love. The girl that I fuck with."

Do you wanna know the part that's based on you?.......THE PART WHERE SHE LOATHES HERSELF SO MUCH
BECAUSE OF ALL THE GUILT AND THE SHAME THAT SHE CAN'T LET THE GOOD IN.....HER INABILITY TO FATHOM THAT THERE IS SOMEONE ON THIS PLANET THAT JUST LOVES HER DESPITE HER NOT LOVING HERSELF. That's you. That's the part that isn't fiction.🖤🖤🖤

Just finished watching malcolm and marie and I am left speechless.🖤