Tell me something girl are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more?
Is there something else you are searching for?

I am falling in all the good times I find myself longing for change.🖤🖤🖤

Tell me something boy aren't you tired of trying to fill that void?

To hurt

To feel

My depression is placid. It hides very well, and it shows itself to no one. Some days I argue even with myself: is it my depression putting on a mask and smiling? Or am I truly happy?

Which one is worst tho, not having the mental energy or will to fix yourself even if you know what exactly is the problem or genuinely wanting to fix yourself but not knowing how to?

What if it's both?

What’s worse is knowing your problem and having the ability to fix yourself but you won’t because you don’t know who you are without your problems.

Why should I apologize for being a monster? Has anyone ever apologized for turning me into one?
— Juuzou Suzuya (Tokyo Ghoul)

I know you’re out there somewhere, feeling haunted by your memories and the people who walked away from you. Somebody once told me that these ghosts never really left you, that you’d spend your whole life collecting them if you were too slow to outrun them. They take up residence in the space between your ribs, in the silence between one burst of laughter and the next, in the nooks and crannies of your soul. Whenever you think you escaped them, they catch up to you again, red eyes staring, sharp-toothed mouths leering. But no one told me that I had been mistaken all this time, that it had never been about running - I had to learn it the hard way. It was never about being the fastest one, or about pretending you were fine when you were not. Truth is these ghosts can never be outrun. They can’t be ignored. They can’t be folded away into the darkest corners of your mind, and left there to rot. They will survive. They will find a way to rise from the dead - but so will you. Again and again. Let me tell you a secret: these ghosts have no power over you. They may be a part of your past, a part of the person you once were, and a part of the people who used to walk next to you. But they will never be powerful enough to tear you down. They will never be powerful enough to take your strength away from you if you embrace them for what they are: a sign that after all that you’ve been through you still decided to keep fighting. A sign that you threw back your shoulders and met your demons with a smile on your face. These ghosts are like scars. Some of them will never go away. And some of them shouldn’t.

You dont know real pain until you begged God to change your mind.

i’m not a person. i’m just symptoms and trauma in a trench coat.

• @regretletters •