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Tell me it won't hurt🖤
Forwarded from Lost·In·Pieces (Dandelion)
I don't always want to hear words of love from you. Now don't get me wrong. I love when your lips bless my life with your heartfelt words but sometimes what I want to do is to discuss philosophy with you. I want us to talk about literature and what books you have read lately and which ones you find fascinating. I want us to talk about which countries we would like to visit and which are our favorite painters. I want us to discuss esotericism and history and share all our theories. I want to laugh with you while watching memes and listen as you tell me which new gems you discovered this week on Netflix. I want to talk about how your day went and what mischief your kittens got into today. Every day I want you to teach me something new and talk about the music that we love and ask you to share the link with me if you have found something good. I simply want to know you completely, know your life and live it with you, because not all love is sweet and romantic words, not everything is passion and sex, there is also love in the daily life, in knowing the thoughts, values and beliefs of the one you love, in the complicity of lovers who are not only lovers but also friends.
My own brain is to me the most unaccountable of machinery always buzzing,humming,soaring,roaring amd then buried in mud🥀
She was getting better,
but then she remembered what she was trying to get away from,
she remember the things that tear her apart.
Now she's back at the start.
but then she remembered what she was trying to get away from,
she remember the things that tear her apart.
Now she's back at the start.
Forwarded from Wild (buttercup)
“Love is the strongest emotion any creature can feel except for hate, but hate can't hurt you. Love, and trust, and friendship, and all the other emotions humans value so much, are the only emotions that can bring pain. Only love can break a heart into so many pieces. ”
She picked it up ...then put it back down.
Stared at the sharp edges fascinated by it. Once, twice she ran her fingers on the very tip, testing her soft skin.
She smiled and dug it deep, blood started dropping onto the white tiles of the pristine bathroom. She smiled as she dug deeper. She couldn't feel a thing. She's numb now.
She lay on her bed that evening, her pillow drenched in tears, clutching at her fresh wound that had started to sting. It hurt so bad, she rocked back and forth " I just wanted a little control. Some kind of control on something." she whisperes over and over ...turning it into some kind of mantra of prayers.
She's completely lost herself and no one was there to catch her because she let no one in.
Stared at the sharp edges fascinated by it. Once, twice she ran her fingers on the very tip, testing her soft skin.
She smiled and dug it deep, blood started dropping onto the white tiles of the pristine bathroom. She smiled as she dug deeper. She couldn't feel a thing. She's numb now.
She lay on her bed that evening, her pillow drenched in tears, clutching at her fresh wound that had started to sting. It hurt so bad, she rocked back and forth " I just wanted a little control. Some kind of control on something." she whisperes over and over ...turning it into some kind of mantra of prayers.
She's completely lost herself and no one was there to catch her because she let no one in.
Forwarded from apparently i’m still alive (Name Of Aries)
I don't need therapy all I need is a hug.
After a while, you just wanna forget, cause its just to painful to remember.
Forwarded from apparently i’m still alive (Mike)
What was the moment you knew? What was the single moment you knew that you wanted to be dead? The thoughts started to ring in your head like thousand of whispers, aching, begging to be freed, didn’t they? Did you feel the horrid emptiness in your stomach? Did you wanna scream, but your mouth won’t just utter neither voices nor words?
Believe me, I know those feelings. It’s like a thousand voices telling you that you are way better of dead. You can’t escape from that feeling. That barren feeling when you just want to hold your ears to stop the voices in your head. That feeling when you just feel powerless to do anything with your own mind. That goddam feeling when your eyes sting when you are about to cry. No one should ever feel that feeling.
I had 3 suicide attempts through my entire life. And in each and everyone, I edged closer to death. But somehow, while I just bled out on that floor, I felt euphoria. I felt something I had not felt for a long time.
People look at the way I smile and they think, oh, look at that kid. He’s happy. His smile is perfect. But practice makes perfect right? Through all this pretending I had forgotten what it felt like to be happy. And most things that made me happy, faded like ash in the wind. They were scattered to the empty world.
After my second suicide attempt, I tried to get better. Honestly, I did. But what was there to get better for? What was there to live for? Nothing, so I attempted suicide again, but horribly failed.
But sooner or later, at the end of the day I realized that my happy heart wouldn’t make anyone else happy. My death, my disappearance in the nothingness of life, would break more hearts. And why would I want anyone else to feel that feeling?
-ma
Believe me, I know those feelings. It’s like a thousand voices telling you that you are way better of dead. You can’t escape from that feeling. That barren feeling when you just want to hold your ears to stop the voices in your head. That feeling when you just feel powerless to do anything with your own mind. That goddam feeling when your eyes sting when you are about to cry. No one should ever feel that feeling.
I had 3 suicide attempts through my entire life. And in each and everyone, I edged closer to death. But somehow, while I just bled out on that floor, I felt euphoria. I felt something I had not felt for a long time.
People look at the way I smile and they think, oh, look at that kid. He’s happy. His smile is perfect. But practice makes perfect right? Through all this pretending I had forgotten what it felt like to be happy. And most things that made me happy, faded like ash in the wind. They were scattered to the empty world.
After my second suicide attempt, I tried to get better. Honestly, I did. But what was there to get better for? What was there to live for? Nothing, so I attempted suicide again, but horribly failed.
But sooner or later, at the end of the day I realized that my happy heart wouldn’t make anyone else happy. My death, my disappearance in the nothingness of life, would break more hearts. And why would I want anyone else to feel that feeling?
-ma