Drawing this type of arts with myself implying my mental state or even how i just want to end my life -
Probably is my coping mechanism. And it's better this way, better to draw yourself like this - rather than really hurting yourself or doing something worse than that. Imagining how many times i died per day, with many different ways is not nice, i agree. But somehow that calms me down and keeps we away from taking a knife and stabbing myself. I hate feeling this way, so i turn on music and listen to what matches my emotions so i could cry and let it out. It's hard for me to seek for people or even try venting at all - so i keep everything silent from others. Because i don't want to bother them, nor do i want to be seen as attention seeker and nagging all the time. I don't know when I'll heal from this, but sure is soon enough. I hope.

I'll get over this.