After so many bad experiences in this fandom and the mistakes I've made, I feel constant fear and anxiety when I try to interact or talk to more fans. I feel like they're going to hurt me or something bad is going to happen, maybe I'll mess up... will I be too boring, too energetic, annoying, or something? I force myself to think that if I don't talk to anyone, there won't be any more problems, and seeing that I'm pushing people away only makes me feel worse and I want to distance myself even more, which ends up being an endless chain reaction.
