President Admin Ton Fo promised great news this quarter! The news will be interesting, relevant, and moderately funny. 😁

Telegram got updated, and now you can sort gifts. Been waiting for this for ages—my collection was such a mess. Too bad it’s still buggy and inconvenient, and not even translated into Russian yet.

I really miss filters for gifts, backgrounds, and patterns. Say I want to create a folder for heart-shaped cookies. There are like a hundred of them, out of maybe a thousand gifts total. I mark all the cookies, move them to a folder, and there’s 99. How do I know which gift I accidentally missed? Or maybe I only have 99 to begin with?

They’ll probably polish it eventually. At least you can now change the order of gifts—that’s already a win.

Looks like we were thinking about the wrong kind of "going west." Turns out, it’s Durov’s girlfriend heading west, not Telegram.

Good price for the gift. 🤡

Looks like the 100k star limit is becoming a thing of the past.

http://t.me/nft/LunarSnake-72536

Go to hell with your stickers 😁

Pavel Durov's buddy is planning to invite Muhammad Ali to Telegram. From the afterlife. Apparently, Telegram’s signal reaches beyond just parking lots. Am I nauseous because I’m sick or because of this kind of nonsense?

Kanye West wants to drop Yebubus on GetGems. He’s joking, by the way.

The whole Telegram is flooded with news about anonymous +999 numbers. Honestly, I don’t believe they’ll roll out new numbers, but that’s only in my perfect universe where assets just keep growing due to rising demand and shrinking supply. In reality, though, nothing’s stopping them from churning out new numbers as gifts, like, every week. No need to even design anything.

These numbers have actually been around for a while, used for some tests, and would’ve just sat there if Pasha Durov hadn’t decided to show off with a “Test” country. Show off, that’s it—you don’t seriously think he’s personally developing or testing anything, do you? There are specially trained people, test servers, and accounts for that, not out in the open on Telegram for everyone to see.

Just a couple of weeks left until Telegram’s birthday. Any hopes it’ll be something truly awesome? What can we expect on that day? Maybe they’ll finally introduce a rating system, and it might even be interesting. New gifts? Probably, though with each passing day, I increasingly wish they’d stop releasing them, at least not just for the sake of making money. A statuette and a doggo for the birthday with a small supply would be perfect, especially if they introduce limits so a regular user could actually buy them with enough luck and skill.

Let’s discuss—share your guesses. What would you expect in your wildest dreams? Something that would make you say Telegram did something beautifully and well.

Rating is the stars spent on buying gifts. During a refund, 10x the rating is deducted.

I hope past achievements will still be taken into account, because grinding rating from scratch by buying gifts with stars feels a bit too late.

This feature is currently only available in beta.

It will also be possible to sell gifts for TONs without a trade ban. If only they allowed buying gifts on the primary market with TON, then those stars wouldn’t be needed at all. Just for rating, I guess. 😁

At the same time, marketplaces aren’t going anywhere, as Telegram isn’t shy about charging a 20% commission on sales.

Well, this is absurd — in the beta, they’ve introduced a limit on the number of… searches?! You can search for something for free twice a day…

Once the limit is reached, each additional search will cost 10 stars. 🤡

Our dear free manager wants more money. What else could they make paid? Viewing profiles, messaging loved ones, logging into Telegram?

So they introduce paid search, and what’s next? As a webmaster, I can say that Telegram has no organic traffic and, consequently, no organic growth. If you create a website, search engines analyze the content, and if it’s high-quality, they start sending you visitors. You can also grow organically on other social networks, like YouTube, for example. There’s a battle for quality content there.

But unfortunately, not in Telegram. The number of subscribers almost entirely depends on the admin’s capabilities. It’s either buying subscribers, advertising the channel, or funneling traffic from other platforms (if you’re already a media personality with established social networks).

In turn, users have to independently search for something worthwhile. And in our niche, inexperienced users might think scams, casinos, or shady schemes are “worthwhile.” And now they want to charge money even for attempting to find what you need. We’re heading in the wrong direction…

Previous activity will be counted toward the Telegram rating. That's good.

First, Durov inexplicably assigned himself a test number, then Telegram messed up yet again and those test numbers got spread around, and now accounts that bought such numbers have been frozen.

Remember, friends, no matter the situation, you can always find someone to blame, but not always justice.

There you go, I praised Telegram here. Now don’t tell me I’m all about hate. I’d be happy myself if the number of such posts increased.

Sigh, tomorrow we’ll trade some Snoop Dogg weed. I feel there’ll be some action, if not in the green, then at least in the red. Pasha promised us a hot time, hope he wasn’t talking about the weather in Paris, that lousy weatherman.

I was walking down the street and overheard a phrase from a conversation between two guys, I’ll quote it verbatim:

Go to hell, you always want more, and then you end up eating shit…

For some reason, I thought they were talking about Telegram gifts.

Have all the gifts already been put up for sale? We're lying low and waiting for a buyout at 55 million tons. 🤡

Oh, dreams, dreams...