Akpos asked Chichi in a library; Do you mind if I sit beside you?" Chichi answered with a loud voice; "I DONT WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!
All the students in the library started staring at Akpos and he was embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, Chichi walked quietly to Akpos table and she told him "I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed right?"
Akpos responded with a loud voice: "N50,000 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!!!? THATS TOO MUCH!!!"
everyone in the library looked at Chichi in shock and Akpos whispered in her ears "I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty"
All the students in the library started staring at Akpos and he was embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, Chichi walked quietly to Akpos table and she told him "I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed right?"
Akpos responded with a loud voice: "N50,000 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!!!? THATS TOO MUCH!!!"
everyone in the library looked at Chichi in shock and Akpos whispered in her ears "I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty"
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for Roscoe, our hunting dog, and was standing in line at Wal-Mart getting ready to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. First thing I thought was "where's your sign lady" but decided to go with it...SO...On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Weight Loss Diet again.
I said I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. But that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is; you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, and that the food is nutritionally complete... so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story to say the least.
Totally horrified, the lady asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I had stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
She got upset. Made a complaint. WAL-MART asked me not to shop there anymore. It was worth it.
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
When a girl cancels a date she cancels it because she has to…But when a boy cancels a date he cancels it because he has two. 👌👌🖒
A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis. Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General’s office. “Since we weren’t actually at war,” the General began, “I can’t give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated. What we’ve decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given two pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We’ll start on the left, boys, so what’ll it be?” Soldier 1: “The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!” General: “Very good son, that’s 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds” Soldier 2: “The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!” General: “Even better son, that’s 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds” Soldier 3: “The palm of me hand to the tip of me left pinky, sahr!” General: “That’s a strange but fair request, son! As the general begins the measurement: “What! Son, where is your left pinky?” Soldier 3: “Falkland Island, sahr!”
👌👌🔫🔫
Question Tag
TEACHER: Our topic today is question tag. E.g, Michael is a boy. Isn't he? Yes, he is. Can I have other examples?
KWAME: We will chop yam today. Chopin't we?
TEACHER: Wrong! Can anybody correct him?
AKPOS: Don't mind that blocked head sir. The correct sentence is, "We will chop yam today. Yamin't we?
🤣🤣🤣
Coincidence
TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? AKPOS: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time 🖒👌🖒👌😂😂😆🔕🔕📚📚
Nice Taste
Akpos enter into a pharmacy, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a tea spoon. He pours some liquid onto the tea spoon and offers it to the chemist's assistant, "Could you taste this please?" says Akpos. The Chemist assistant takes the tea spoon, put it in his mouth, swills the liquid and swallows it. "Does it taste sweet?" says Akpos. "No, not at all" says the Chemist assistant. "Good!" says Akpos "The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar."
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Exam promise
Akpos read from cover to cover preparing for his entrance examination. His father came to his room and saw him reading.FATHER: Akpos, make sure you pass that exam otherwise just forget that I'm your father!AKPOS: Sure thing dad, I'm bound to bring smiles to your face.5 HOURS LATER...FATHER: So my son, how was your exam? I'm sure u passed it excellently...
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. First thing I thought was "where's your sign lady" but decided to go with it...SO...On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Weight Loss Diet again.
I said I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. But that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is; you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, and that the food is nutritionally complete... so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story to say the least.
Totally horrified, the lady asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I had stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
She got upset. Made a complaint. WAL-MART asked me not to shop there anymore. It was worth it.
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
When a girl cancels a date she cancels it because she has to…But when a boy cancels a date he cancels it because he has two. 👌👌🖒
A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis. Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General’s office. “Since we weren’t actually at war,” the General began, “I can’t give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated. What we’ve decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given two pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We’ll start on the left, boys, so what’ll it be?” Soldier 1: “The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!” General: “Very good son, that’s 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds” Soldier 2: “The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!” General: “Even better son, that’s 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds” Soldier 3: “The palm of me hand to the tip of me left pinky, sahr!” General: “That’s a strange but fair request, son! As the general begins the measurement: “What! Son, where is your left pinky?” Soldier 3: “Falkland Island, sahr!”
👌👌🔫🔫
Question Tag
TEACHER: Our topic today is question tag. E.g, Michael is a boy. Isn't he? Yes, he is. Can I have other examples?
KWAME: We will chop yam today. Chopin't we?
TEACHER: Wrong! Can anybody correct him?
AKPOS: Don't mind that blocked head sir. The correct sentence is, "We will chop yam today. Yamin't we?
🤣🤣🤣
Coincidence
TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? AKPOS: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time 🖒👌🖒👌😂😂😆🔕🔕📚📚
Nice Taste
Akpos enter into a pharmacy, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a tea spoon. He pours some liquid onto the tea spoon and offers it to the chemist's assistant, "Could you taste this please?" says Akpos. The Chemist assistant takes the tea spoon, put it in his mouth, swills the liquid and swallows it. "Does it taste sweet?" says Akpos. "No, not at all" says the Chemist assistant. "Good!" says Akpos "The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar."
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Exam promise
Akpos read from cover to cover preparing for his entrance examination. His father came to his room and saw him reading.FATHER: Akpos, make sure you pass that exam otherwise just forget that I'm your father!AKPOS: Sure thing dad, I'm bound to bring smiles to your face.5 HOURS LATER...FATHER: So my son, how was your exam? I'm sure u passed it excellently...
AKPOS: Sorry excuse me, do I know you?
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂