Teoria número 2#

Primeiramente vai se fuder se você apoia este animal, me retire imediatamente do seu círculo de amigos

A centopeia é uma arma biológica em potencial e eu posso provar

Se você não conhece essa filha da puta e fica com "ain ain aracnofobia, ain ain que medo de cobra" peço que você tome no seu cu e preste atenção aqui, a centopeia vulgo lacraia brasileira é a porra de um artrópode desgraçado de 72 seguimentos de patas fortes pra caralho, sensores de movimento, visão noturna, carapaça resistente igual escudo tático da PM (proporcionalmente ao seu tamanho) rápida pra caralho, vive extremamente puta com a vida, entra no ouvido e nos sapatos dos outros, tem veneno que parece uma aplicação de benzetacil e se alimenta a bem devagar por que essa filha da puta quer sentir o gosto de dor da vítima, sem falar que ela come cobra, lagarto, aranha, morcego no ar, rato e até tua mãe quando o corno do teu pai vai trabalhar e ainda por cima ela tem a síndrome do morto-vivo, se tu pisar nessa arrombada e ao menos piscar os olhos, ela não estará mais onde ela estava, ciência, por favor, não ouse modificar genéticamente essa merda, não temos preparo tecnológico para lidar com um problema dessa magnitude, provavelmente isso resultaria na extinção da vida terrestre, eu estou logo avisando, não façam isso

Olha a cara do ratinho mano, meu Deus morra lacraia, morra

Imagine ser este pobre coitado e ter sua namoradinha trans convidada pra morar numa casa empesteada de marombeiros travequeiros de 120kg e 50cm de braço que exalam testosterona por onde passam.

Antigamente eu tinha inveja desse maluco e tentava conceber como uma criatura de aparência tão primal foi capaz de conquistar o coração de uma trapzinha tão linda e delicada como a Sayuri. Não me resta outra alternativa se não acreditar que desde o começo tudo foi arquitetado minuciosamente por próprio Satanás com o intuito de afundar ainda mais esse fodido em desgraça (como se sua existência já não fosse o suficiente).

Eu tenho certeza de que Cristo, Allah, Lula, Bolsonaro ou seja lá em que Deus você acredita tirou um tempo exclusivo só para montar um plano maquiavélico com a finalidade de obliterar o pouco de felicidade que ainda existia no coração deste indefeso animal.

Deixo aqui minha mensagem de apoio e compaixão a este guerreiro. A vida é uma desgraça mesmo irmão. Tmj...

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OBRIGADO HIDROXICLOROQUINA POR EXISTIR, UM MEDICAMENTO CRIADO EXCLUSIVAMENTE PRA CURAR O CORONA, UM MEDICAMENTO QUE DOMINA ABSOLUTAMENTE TODOS OS FUNDAMENTOS DA REABILITAÇÃO COM MAESTRIA, QUE CURA COM UMA NATURALIDADE INCRÍVEL, E COMO CURA, PUTA QUE PARIU, CURA DEMAIS ESSE DEUS, DAQUI A 100 ANOS VAI EXISTIR 2 LADOS DO CORONAVIRUS AH E DH, ANTES DE HIDROXICLOROQUINA E DEPOIS DE HIDROXICLOROQUINA, POIS É ISSO QUE ESSE MONSTRO SAGRADO FEZ, MOSTRA AO MUNDO COMO É SER ALGUÉM QUE NASCEU EXCLUSIVAMENTE PRA CURAR O CORONA, SIM SENHORES, ESTE É HIDROXICLOROQUINA

ME AJUDEM NESSE MOMENTO DIFÍCIL EM MINHA VIDA
Eu conheci uma menina no Tinder faz 1 semana e 4 dias, saímos, nos beijamos, até ai tudo bem, eu pensei que finalmente tinha encontrado alguém legal que eu podia ser eu mesmo. Hoje era pra nos se vermos mas ela disse que (tinha umas coisas a fazer), eu entendi né, se nao da tudo bem eu espero.
Quase agora eu saí pra comprar lanche e voltei pra casa pela rua dela (corta caminho), ao passar pela rua dela, vi que o portão estava aberto ela saiu rindo e alguém a puxou pra dentro novamente, eu fiquei feliz né pois poderia vê-la mesmo que 5 minutos. Ao chegar perto do portão que ainda estava aberto não muito, eu coloquei a cabeça pra dentro da garagem e vi o que eu não queria ver... Ela estava agachada mamando outro cara. Neste momento meu mundo caiu, eu me senti um lixo, ela ficou sem reação ali agachada com o pau do cara na boca me olhando, eu saí imediatamente dali triste segurando o choro.
Ao sair ela veio atrás de mim correndo, me puxando e, começou a falar que queria conversar comigo, eu não queria mas ela insistiu e eu aceitei, ela disse que so ia voltar no cara e terminar o que estava fazendo pois seria chato deixá-lo ir embora com vontade, entao fiquei sentado na calçada enquanto ela mamava o cara na garagem.
Ela terminou, o cara saiu, ela saiu em seguida limpando a boca e veio até mim, me pediu desculpa pelo ocorrido, disse que quer continuar saindo comigo mas eu recusei, que é melhor não, fiquei chateado, ela disse que se é pra ser assim então ok.
Demos um ultimo beijo de despedida, e eu vim pra casa, agora estou aqui triste pensando em como sair dessa situação.

Olha vai tomar no cu viu? Um bando de arrombado falando que essa porra não dá em nada por que o bixinho é pequeno, que ele não é venenoso assim, maluco olha o tamanho dessa anaconda meu irmão, imagina o barulho que uma porra dessa faz andando na laje, essa parada aí come cachorro, tu quer me dizer que essa coluna vertebral viva aí não é nada? Encosta nela então, vai lá fazer carinho nela, deixa ela entrar na tua casa, por que o único motivo de ela tá aí de boa é por que quem tá segurando é o presidente da Rússia Vladimir Putin em sua juventude, mas vai lá ver se ela não pula em cima da tua jugular, meu irmão não é possível, maldita lei da seleção natural, e os cara vem dizer "ah mas ela come os insetos que tá dentro de casa" meu irmão tu nunca ouviu falar em lagartixa não? Lagartixa é mó de boa, come os bixin e fica de boa no canto dela sem fazer mal a ninguém, mas agora esse projeto de arma biológica? Tem que matar mesmo, de preferência depois de um pisão. #pelofimdalacraia

bee movie script
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.” SEQ. 75 - “INTRO TO BARRY” INT. BENSON HOUSE - DAY ANGLE ON: Sneakers on the ground. Camera PANS UP to reveal BARRY BENSON’S BEDROOM ANGLE ON: Barry’s hand flipping through different sweaters in his closet. BARRY Yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black...oohh, black and yellow... ANGLE ON: Barry wearing the sweater he picked, looking in the mirror. BARRY (CONT’D) Yeah, let’s shake it up a little. He picks the black and yellow one. He then goes to the sink, takes the top off a CONTAINER OF HONEY, and puts some honey into his hair. He squirts some in his mouth and gargles. Then he takes the lid off the bottle, and rolls some on like deodorant. CUT TO: INT. BENSON HOUSE KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Barry’s mother, JANET BENSON, yells up at Barry. JANET BENSON Barry, breakfast is ready! CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 1. INT. BARRY’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS BARRY Coming! SFX: Phone RINGING. Barry’s antennae vibrate as they RING like a phone. Barry’s hands are wet. He looks around for a towel. BARRY (CONT’D) Hang on a second! He wipes his hands on his sweater, and pulls his antennae down to his ear and mouth. BARRY (CONT'D) Hello? His best friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, is on the other end. ADAM Barry? BARRY Adam? ADAM Can you believe this is happening? BARRY Can’t believe it. I’ll pick you up. Barry sticks his stinger in a sharpener. SFX: BUZZING AS HIS STINGER IS SHARPENED. He tests the sharpness with his finger. SFX: Bing. BARRY (CONT’D) Looking sharp. ANGLE ON: Barry hovering down the hall, sliding down the staircase bannister. Barry’s mother, JANET BENSON, is in the kitchen. JANET BENSON Barry, why don’t you use the stairs? Your father paid good money for those. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 2. BARRY Sorry, I’m excited. Barry’s father, MARTIN BENSON, ENTERS. He’s reading a NEWSPAPER with the HEADLINE, “Queen gives birth to thousandtuplets: Resting Comfortably.” MARTIN BENSON Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, Son. And a perfect report card, all B’s. JANET BENSON (mushing Barry’s hair) Very proud. BARRY Ma! I’ve got a thing going here. Barry re-adjusts his hair, starts to leave. JANET BENSON You’ve got some lint on your fuzz. She picks it off. BARRY Ow, that’s me! MARTIN BENSON Wave to us. We’ll be in row 118,000. Barry zips off. BARRY Bye! JANET BENSON Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! CUT TO: SEQ. 750 - DRIVING TO GRADUATION EXT. BEE SUBURB - MORNING A GARAGE DOOR OPENS. Barry drives out in his CAR. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 3. ANGLE ON: Barry’s friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, standing by the curb. He’s reading a NEWSPAPER with the HEADLINE: “Frisbee Hits Hive: Internet Down. Bee-stander: “I heard a sound, and next thing I knew...wham-o!.” Barry drives up, stops in front of Adam. Adam jumps in. BARRY Hey, Adam. ADAM Hey, Barry. (pointing at Barry’s hair) Is that fuzz gel? BARRY A little. It’s a special day. Finally graduating. ADAM I never thought I’d make it. BARRY Yeah, three days of grade school, three days of high school. ADAM Those were so awkward. BARRY Three days of college. I’m glad I took off one day in the middle and just hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM You did come back different. They drive by a bee who’s jogging. ARTIE Hi Barry! BARRY (to a bee pedestrian) Hey Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Barry and Adam drive from the suburbs into the city. ADAM Hey, did you hear about Frankie? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 4. BARRY Yeah. ADAM You going to his funeral? BARRY No, I’m not going to his funeral. Everybody knows you sting someone you die, you don’t waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hot head. ADAM Yeah, I guess he could’ve just gotten out of the way. The DRIVE through a loop de loop. BARRY AND ADAM Whoa...Whooo...wheee!!