never ask a man about his income, a woman about her age, and me about the death of my favourite character and what it did to me.

she's a 10/10, but she'll make you rewatch her favourite franchises like it's a sacred ritual, quote novels from her home library mid-conversation, explain the political structure of a fictional nation like she's briefing the un, argue passionately about why hannibal and will are canonically in love, yap about how the chairs at baker street reflect sherlock and john's personalities, and spend every spare penny on fandom merch.

my favorite hobby? watching what people read on the metro, in buses, in parks – like catching glimpses of their secret inner worlds through paperback covers.

I am the only daughter in the family – which means I am the long-awaited son, the king and the warrior, the sacrifice and the martyr, the menace and the threat, the prophet and the saint, the sinner, sharp-tongued, too loud, unruly, a disappointment, a delight, a sorrow, a wound, a joy, the tears and the bruises, and the one who broke the vicious cycle.

therapy isn't enough. I need to go back to my childhood and trace the patterns on the carpet with my finger until the world feels quiet again.

"as a man, I believe that abortions..", "feminism is unnecessary", "so now it's okay to hit women because they want equality?", "women's football – who's it really for?", "she got that position through sleeping around", "women should..", "she provoked him", "the domestic violence law is useless", "misandry exists".

she was a "gone girl", "pearl", "maxxxine", "helter scelter", "american mary", "the virgin suicides", "humanist vampire seeking consenting suicidal person", "marie antoinette", "the love witch", "vvitch", "stoker", "mona lisa smile" girl, there was no boy.

please don't small talk me. out of panic and misplaced politeness, I'll end up telling you something weird and mildly horrifying about myself, smile like nothing happened, walk away too fast, and you'll be stuck thinking about that cursed detail for the rest of your life.

sexual orientation? women from films and books who are commonly hated, but in my opinion they have done nothing wrong. if I were in their shoes, I would do the same.