a few weeks ago someone told me i was being dismissive of young people's struggles when i said stop thinking so much about what career to pursue and just go do something.

well, i think there's a difference between thinking through a problem and thinking into a problem. one gets you somewhere, the other just traps you in a loop. overwhelms you.

when you're a student about to graduate and you're in full panic mode about your future, i get it. that feeling is real, and i'm not brushing it off. but the thing is. you're not going to think your way to a career. you're not going to find your "calling" by staring at the ceiling at 2am. what you'll find instead is a longer list of why it might not work out.

dr. k talks about this with depression and how rumination takes a single negative event and multiplies the damage. the more you chew on something, the more abstract and pessimistic your conclusions get. the steps are: Initial Negative Event, Emotional Amplification of that event, Abstract Generalization coupled with Pessimism and Reduced Motivation, which leads to Impaired Problem Solving and Reduced Contextual Sensitivity. interestingly, he talks about a study which shows that with ruminators (overthinkers) therapy not only doesn't work but may hinder the progress altogether.

with such cyclical thinking, you stop seeing specific steps and start seeing just the whole impossible mountain.

'forward thinking' would be a much better approach here. instead of trying to tackle the whole mountain, you ask "what's one specific thing i can do (in near future) that moves me in a better direction and gets me closer to the life i want?" that could be being more initiative at work, having a conversation you've been avoiding or learning a new skill.

and what makes this all more tricky is that the more intelligent you are, the higher is the risk you will fall into this trap. as your brain is good at building elaborate, convincing arguments, you end up with a bunch of abstract conclusions that aren't gonna help you in any way. (so don't be so frustrated when you find out that quite a lot of people at the top aren't all that smart. they just go and do the job. which isn't perfect either but still moves you in some direction). so if the whole point of being smart is getting what you want in life, perhaps you should be smarter than this and start doing what serves you best.

btw, the video by dr k (really good one, a must watch):

https://youtu.be/tfbM6vYsW9g?si=T_ENAp0SA_Z2juyI

@summernotes

heheheh
i have a weird love for weird holiday cards

hope this month was special for everyone🤍
happy holidays✨🌙

life gets considerably richer when we start noticing the form the reality is taking at any particular moment

meanwhile
some random realizations:

– never buy fresh detox from Bon — they basically just mix banana, citrus fruits, and carton juice (Viko or smth)
– getting reassured once again that bruschetta with salmon is my favorite snack of all time. raw salmon in general is just heavenly ✨
– you really are what you consume. that includes, especially, social media. step back and objectively assess your own thinking from time to time. what takes up most space in your mind?
if intrusive thoughts make up most of your days, chances are they’ll make up most of your weeks and months too.

21:21
intentional

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

I've been listening to this podcast with Dr K. (Huberman's, check it out) and also this video with Le Cunff. one of the ideas encompassing both of the discussions is how much better those who tolerate uncertainty do as opposed to those who don't.
I met with a few quite interesting people in the past few days, including some students who by all means can be considered quite accomplished but who keep applying to unis abroad (specifically US, right) because that seems like the main thing to "tick."

and while determination and persistence are gonna be among the main drivers of ur growth, i think there is a line between useful determination and obsessive desire to follow a linear success path. let me explain.
getting into a top uni in the US (!) is one step forward in this imaginary ideal version of ur life. perhaps it's more justifiable for hard science students. getting an internship at a big tech (for CS students) or a big four (for business students) companies is the next step. and as long as u do ur part well - keep on pushing, keep on the hard work - you should presumably be able to follow this path smoothly. sure thing, studying at those unis or working in those companies is gonna be a real struggle. but at least you can be at peace knowing you're doing everything just right. or no.

in the second video, they discuss the linear and experimental models of success.
if you take two factors - curiosity and ambition - and map a graph, a matrix with them as axes, you will get 4 fields, 4 different subconscious mindsets that can heavily influence the way you perceive the events in ur life.

first is the cynical mindset (worldview, perception, u name it). that's when you've lost all ur ambition and curiosity and might even make fun of those who are still driven by crazy ideas and are "naive" with high ambition. u might be spending most of ur time doomscrolling, reading negative news and then discussing those negative news with others

second is escapist mindset. u are still curious about a lot of things, but you let go of a lot of ur ambitions. binge watching, shopping, or daydreaming about ur future perfect life instead of taking concrete actions to get to those dreams.

perfectionist mindset - high ambition, low curiosity. trying to escape uncertainty through work. if you get to that next goal, like in a career ladder, then, then you will be happy.

these three above all change and vary depending on ur situation and aspects of life you're dealing with.

last one, experimental mindset, is when you have both high ambition and high curiosity.
with this one, you are not chasing a linear success path that gives you the illusion of certainty but rather stay open for experiments and unexpected turns in life. you see failure as data points, information to derive new solutions from. we all like to quote that failure is a must in success, but how many of us get extremely frustrated and miserable for weeks when things don't work out the way we expected? got rejected from college, company, whatever. the very same stubbornness that helps you to get towards ur goals might hijack ur overall track by overfocusing on "how things should've been" instead of "what can i do now?" because if everything works out as expected, probably you've stopped growing. so. keep on asking questions, make yourself feel slightly dumber than comfortable. go forward with work that you don't have a clear plan for. stay curious. you've got enough ambition, anyway.

P.S. the witch broom and hat is from our workplace. received a special package ahahah

@summernotes