a few weeks ago someone told me i was being dismissive of young people's struggles when i said stop thinking so much about what career to pursue and just go do something.

well, i think there's a difference between thinking through a problem and thinking into a problem. one gets you somewhere, the other just traps you in a loop. overwhelms you.

when you're a student about to graduate and you're in full panic mode about your future, i get it. that feeling is real, and i'm not brushing it off. but the thing is. you're not going to think your way to a career. you're not going to find your "calling" by staring at the ceiling at 2am. what you'll find instead is a longer list of why it might not work out.

dr. k talks about this with depression and how rumination takes a single negative event and multiplies the damage. the more you chew on something, the more abstract and pessimistic your conclusions get. the steps are: Initial Negative Event, Emotional Amplification of that event, Abstract Generalization coupled with Pessimism and Reduced Motivation, which leads to Impaired Problem Solving and Reduced Contextual Sensitivity. interestingly, he talks about a study which shows that with ruminators (overthinkers) therapy not only doesn't work but may hinder the progress altogether.

with such cyclical thinking, you stop seeing specific steps and start seeing just the whole impossible mountain.

'forward thinking' would be a much better approach here. instead of trying to tackle the whole mountain, you ask "what's one specific thing i can do (in near future) that moves me in a better direction and gets me closer to the life i want?" that could be being more initiative at work, having a conversation you've been avoiding or learning a new skill.

and what makes this all more tricky is that the more intelligent you are, the higher is the risk you will fall into this trap. as your brain is good at building elaborate, convincing arguments, you end up with a bunch of abstract conclusions that aren't gonna help you in any way. (so don't be so frustrated when you find out that quite a lot of people at the top aren't all that smart. they just go and do the job. which isn't perfect either but still moves you in some direction). so if the whole point of being smart is getting what you want in life, perhaps you should be smarter than this and start doing what serves you best.

btw, the video by dr k (really good one, a must watch):

https://youtu.be/tfbM6vYsW9g?si=T_ENAp0SA_Z2juyI

@summernotes

heheheh
i have a weird love for weird holiday cards

hope this month was special for everyone🤍
happy holidays✨🌙

life gets considerably richer when we start noticing the form the reality is taking at any particular moment

meanwhile
some random realizations:

– never buy fresh detox from Bon — they basically just mix banana, citrus fruits, and carton juice (Viko or smth)
– getting reassured once again that bruschetta with salmon is my favorite snack of all time. raw salmon in general is just heavenly ✨
– you really are what you consume. that includes, especially, social media. step back and objectively assess your own thinking from time to time. what takes up most space in your mind?
if intrusive thoughts make up most of your days, chances are they’ll make up most of your weeks and months too.

21:21
intentional