I don't feel like I'm a person with real feelings anymore. The past  2 years, I've only been thinking in a third person view. Every time I make a decision, I think in terms of what another person would think of this situation if they were observing me. Every decision I make, it has been the decision that would make the "observer" understand or sympathize with me. I don't feel like my life matters anymore. All my problems are so trivial compared to the world, it doesn't matter at all. All my pleasures are so insignificant compared to what others experience, it's not worth enjoying.