God, let me think clearly and brightly; let me live, love and say it well in good sentences; let me someday see who I am
You were told to do things and you did them. The world is something that was put into your hands and that you must deal with - so you will. You have a rigid back and steady hands, either metaphorically or physically. Is it nature or nurture ? You don't know. You are tired of being steady. You dream of feeling alive. Not that you aren't, but, sometimes, it's hard to remember that there is a heart between your ribs. Your love is where you breathe. Come on, breathe. In. Out. It starts now
Sometimes it occurs to me that nothing was ever really “wrong” with me outside of believing I needed to change when actually the situation didn’t suit me
I feel unspeakably lonely. And I feel - drained. It is a blank state of mind and soul I cannot describe to you as I think it would not make any difference. Also it is a very private feeling I have - that of melting into a perpetual nervous breakdown. I am often questioning myself; what I further want to do, who l further wish to be; which parts of me, exactly, are still functioning properly
i got that deer in me (watery brown eyes and the constant urge to run into incoming traffic)