I have been experimenting with homosexuality. And just like small furry animals, homosexuals don't like being electrocuted either.
#sexandshit
#sexandshit
Sending dick pics is for amateurs...
Real men get out there and disappoint women in real life.
#sexandshit
Real men get out there and disappoint women in real life.
#sexandshit
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo.
Because then I would know she is capable of making decisions she will regret in the future.
#sexandshit
Because then I would know she is capable of making decisions she will regret in the future.
#sexandshit
If a woman wants to be adored for her beautiful smile or bright eyes then she would do well to keep her shirt buttoned ALL the way up.
#sexandshit
#sexandshit
A black kid and his father are on an airplane.
The plane suddenly starts to lose altitude and the captain made an announcement.
"Attention passengers. Due to an engine failure we are forced we were forced to dump all your baggage to lighten the plane. Unfortunately the plane is still too heavy so we have no chocie but to start throwing out passengers by alphabetical order until the plane is light enough. We will start with the A's. Will all African Americans please jump out of the plane."
The little boy starts getting up but his dad stopps him. "We are not African Americans."
Shortly after another announcement is made. "Ladies and gentlemen we are still to heavy. We must move to the B's. Will all blacks please jump out of the plane."
The boy starts getting up but his dad stops him again. "No son we are not black."
Shortly after another announcement is made. "Ladies and gentlemen we are still to heavy, we must now move to the C's. Will all colored people please jump out the plane."
Again the boy starts getting up but his dad stops him. "No son were not colored." "But dad, if we're not African American, black, or colored, what are we?" "Son, today we're niggers and we sure as hell aint jumping before the Mexicans!"
#racism
The plane suddenly starts to lose altitude and the captain made an announcement.
"Attention passengers. Due to an engine failure we are forced we were forced to dump all your baggage to lighten the plane. Unfortunately the plane is still too heavy so we have no chocie but to start throwing out passengers by alphabetical order until the plane is light enough. We will start with the A's. Will all African Americans please jump out of the plane."
The little boy starts getting up but his dad stopps him. "We are not African Americans."
Shortly after another announcement is made. "Ladies and gentlemen we are still to heavy. We must move to the B's. Will all blacks please jump out of the plane."
The boy starts getting up but his dad stops him again. "No son we are not black."
Shortly after another announcement is made. "Ladies and gentlemen we are still to heavy, we must now move to the C's. Will all colored people please jump out the plane."
Again the boy starts getting up but his dad stops him. "No son were not colored." "But dad, if we're not African American, black, or colored, what are we?" "Son, today we're niggers and we sure as hell aint jumping before the Mexicans!"
#racism
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies.
Is that a trick question??
#illness
Is that a trick question??
#illness
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Nothing beats waking up to a blow job.
Unless you've been in a coma, and your nurse's name is Steve.
#sexandshit
Unless you've been in a coma, and your nurse's name is Steve.
#sexandshit
A man's walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.
"Twenty bucks," she says.
He's never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell. They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them—it’s a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," said the man, "neither did I until you shined that light in her face.
#sexandshit
"Twenty bucks," she says.
He's never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell. They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them—it’s a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," said the man, "neither did I until you shined that light in her face.
#sexandshit
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"Commissioner, we've found 20 kilograms of cocaine."
"10 kilograms you say?"
"Yeah, 5 kilograms."
#crime
"10 kilograms you say?"
"Yeah, 5 kilograms."
#crime
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Three logicians walk into a bar.
The bartender asks: "Do you all want a drink?"
The first logician says: "I don't know."
The second logician says: "I don't know."
The third logician says: "Yes."
#other
The bartender asks: "Do you all want a drink?"
The first logician says: "I don't know."
The second logician says: "I don't know."
The third logician says: "Yes."
#other
I was in the park today when a woman came up to me and said, "Are you taking photos of my daughter on your iPhone?"
"Yes I'm taking photos of her," I replied, "But it's not what you think."
"So what is it then?" she asked.
I said, "A Samsung Galaxy."
#sexandshit
"Yes I'm taking photos of her," I replied, "But it's not what you think."
"So what is it then?" she asked.
I said, "A Samsung Galaxy."
#sexandshit
They say teenage girls are the worst for cruel insults.
After hearing "Let me out of this basement you fat ugly paedo" I wouldn't disagree.
#sexandshit
After hearing "Let me out of this basement you fat ugly paedo" I wouldn't disagree.
#sexandshit
My new French girlfriend hates it when I pull her hair during sex.
She says it makes her armpits sore for days.
#sexandshit
She says it makes her armpits sore for days.
#sexandshit
Nelson Mandela has been described in South Africa as 'The Father Of Our Nation'.
And like most black fathers, he wasn't around for a good twenty years.
#racism
And like most black fathers, he wasn't around for a good twenty years.
#racism
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Guys, want to find out all of your flaws in under a minute?
Just ask your girlfriend if she's gained weight.
#other
Just ask your girlfriend if she's gained weight.
#other
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