If science could talk, I don't think it would recommend wearing a mask while running, competitively or otherwise.

https://www.theblaze.com/news/video-high-school-runner-who-collapsed-speaks-out?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

What could be more idiotic and cruel than making kids wear masks while they run outdoors? The people who enforce this nonsense are in no way "loving their neighbors." They're maniacs and their delusions are dangerous.

I’d say death—you know, the thing abortion leads to—is even worse.

https://www.newscientist.com/article/2276018-multiple-negative-events-before-birth-could-lead-to-poor-mental-health/?utm_term=Autofeed&utm_campaign=echobox&utm_medium=social&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1619639317

UPDATE: NY Times FORCED to Answer Veritas’s Defamation Lawsuit – NYT Admits They Did Not Contact Veritas’s Named Sources for Comment; Admits Astor Article WRONG About MN Law; Claims Articles Are Opinion While Admitting Reporters Not Opinion Writers

https://www.projectveritas.com/news/update-new-york-times-forced-to-answer-veritass-defamation-lawsuit-nyt/

“I’m a moderate radical,” said the married bachelor.

https://www.cnn.com/2021/04/28/politics/joe-biden-joint-address-to-congress/index.html

I don’t feel sorry for you, Kyle. This is what happens when you traffic in misinformation under the guise of satire.

https://twitter.com/The_Kyle_Mann/status/1387498645516263426?s=20

Kevin Roose—the tech reporter for NYT who said we capitalize on confusion by skirting the line between misinformation and satire—just blocked me for mocking him. These people can't stand to be confronted with the truth (or their role in suppressing/distorting it).

I'm verified on Instagram now, so you can be confident the misinformation is really coming from me. instagram.com/beechief/

She better hope she never needs a hero. She might have to call 911, and that would be awkward.

https://twitter.com/chrissyclark_/status/1387842464845869056?s=21

In the sequel to The Wolf of Wall Street, the real Jordan Belfort shares Babylon Bee articles with his friends instead of Quaaludes and hookers.

Why’s The Onion subtweeting me?

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1388178879240605697?s=20

The desire to see hatred where it isn’t is evil.

https://twitter.com/thr/status/1387835632941031426?s=21

Gas prices will soon make this move cost prohibitive.

https://video.twimg.com/ext_tw_video/1388035695000932354/pu/vid/848x448/qRzcL0IeA2Tc_jUJ.mp4?tag=12

cLuMp oF CeLLs

https://twitter.com/camellia_alexan/status/1387795056698937348?s=21

“Give up your child’s freedom, comfort, and sense of normalcy for my safety,” says the person calling you selfish.

Put another way, hardly anyone thinks we're more united now, and even fewer give Biden credit for it.

https://twitter.com/ABC/status/1388968935828213764?s=20

A good assistant should always remind you of upcoming meetings and calls that need to be canceled so you can do literally anything else.

I want things to be scheduled, I just also want them to never happen. This is not unreasonable.

Our satire site gets flagged for spreading “harmful misinformation” all the time, but it’s the real news media that led this woman to believe—falsely and dangerously—that she’d be murdered if she were pulled over.

https://video.twimg.com/ext_tw_video/1389344718165667840/pu/vid/1280x720/aDSKf3zOeZwJAATm.mp4?tag=12

Also, she’s a raging racist.

Some loser photoshopped his face onto my body. smh