For $8 a month we’ll keep working on a third joke.

https://babylonbee.com/plans

Violence occurs at children’s hospitals whenever a young girl has her healthy breasts or uterus surgically removed. Thankfully, our efforts are successfully reducing this violence and leading to laws that criminalize it.

Nearly a quarter of a million people have voted to NOT require medical care for infants born alive.

He deleted it.

And blocked me 😂

The bomb threat was fake. The surgeries on minors are real.

Boebert now leads by 1,229 votes.

I just learned that a fat guy won a women's beauty pageant.

He’s neither gay nor trans, so it’s okay to think his vile behavior is wrong.

We need your help to achieve this meaningless milestone.

https://www.youtube.com/thebabylonbee?sub_confirmation=1

You aren’t actually important if you aren’t being impersonated. It’s the new verified.

If some mental illnesses should be affirmed, why shouldn’t all? What’s the argument for selective affirmation?

Seems strange that record numbers of people are so eager to join the ranks of marginalized and oppressed groups by proudly identifying as members of them. Since when is oppression trendy and desirable?

Biases can lead smart people to say and believe stupid things. Stephen Hawking, for example, said the universe created itself from nothing.

Hey Jason. You make some good points, but where was your defense of humor when the NY Times was saying we capitalize on confusion and spread misinformation by not doing enough to label our jokes as jokes?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/11/arts/elon-musk-twitter-parody.html

If there was ever a state where truly "not anything" existed—no time, space, matter, energy—then nothing would have ever come into existence. Out of nothing, nothing comes. It is not incredulity but logic and an understanding of causal relations that compels this conclusion.

None of us believe that anything can just pop into existence out of nothing. There's nothing fallacious about our justified certainty that a horse, or a Tesla, couldn't just pop into existence out of nothing. So why should we expect entire universes from nothing?

Whatever begins to exist has a cause.
The universe began to exist.
Therefore, the universe has a cause.

It didn't create itself from nothing (a thing cannot precede itself to produce itself). It was created by an eternal, personal, powerful, intelligent, supernatural agent: God.

He was a brilliant astrophysicist, but a terrible philosopher.

I voted in under 5 minutes in this election. It was easier than ordering Chick-fil-A. Why do Democrats think there’s no way minorities could ever figure it out?

"I read the ‘Don’t Say Gay’ law… It could have been called the ‘Let’s Do Things in Schools the Way We Did Five Years Ago’ Law.” — Bill Maher

So Biden gave loads of money to Ukraine, who gave loads of money to FTX, who gave loads of money to Democrats.

Sounds like a potentially massive scandal the media will have absolutely no interest in covering.

This is weird.

When does Election Day end?