The FBI raided the Babylon Bee's headquarters this morning and took both of our jokes. They even confiscated a draft of an unfinished third joke that hadn't yet harmed anyone.

If you tell the truth, they will try to intimidate you, smear you, and silence you. Tell it, anyway.

Should we release the footage?

Federer just announced she’s transgender, will go by “Regina,” and hopes to remain competitive in tennis well into her seventies.

https://twitter.com/rogerfederer/status/1570401710685945856?s=46&t=72cnrQCj9f2Q4wKA40h-zA

We're confusing kids and then cutting them up to "treat" their confusion. Is there anything more deserving of our contempt?

I joined Allie Beth Stuckey a few days ago to discuss, among other things, the moral case for mockery.

My wife refuses to hang up the phone when we say goodbye. She can’t be troubled with that. So, naturally, I respond by stubbornly refusing to hang up, too. I pretend I’m too busy and need my hands for something. Our average call time is 84 minutes. I assume this is normal.

“No, officer, he’s not working or napping on the job like they normally do. He’s just wandering around.”

You know what’s more embarrassing than being short? Paying six figures to fake being tall.

https://nypost.com/2022/09/16/tech-workers-getting-leg-lengthening-surgery-that-costs-up-to-150k-report/

So you know who to thank when they can’t censor you anymore.

1. You can’t define what a woman is.
2. Your administration mandated vaccination for women on a grand scale.
3. Abortion is a decision about what to do with a baby’s body — a child is a not a woman’s body part.

“I wasn’t expecting to see a bunch of Mexicans here,” said Sebastian, a local resident. “I really wish they could have stayed longer but the bus I called for the moment I saw them already whisked them away.”

If you question an election, you're a threat to our democracy—unless you're a Democrat. In that case, you're protecting democracy.

"A true philosophical or religious conclusion is no less true than a true scientific one. Although universities might divide their faculty and courses into academic categories, reality is not obliged to respect such boundaries." — Michael Behe

How's this for a timeline?

Sept 2021: Texas passes a law (HB 20) to protect free speech by limiting Big Tech's ability to censor based on viewpoint.

Sept 2021: Two trade groups representing Big Tech immediately filed suit to try and block the law.

Dec 2021: An Obama-appointed judge ruled in favor of Big Tech, blocking the law from going into effect. In his ruling, he said it would be unconstitutional to put limits on the ability of social media platforms to moderate content as they see fit.

March 2022: Twitter locks out the Babylon Bee for making a joke they didn't like.

Sept 2022: The 5th Circuit Court of Appeals overturns the earlier decision on HB 20, saying the law is constitutional because it chills censorship, not speech.

October 2022: The Babylon Bee sues Twitter.

This is an excellent recap of how we got here.

https://t.co/d9OYCEKkF4

Probably won’t even lose his license.

https://twitter.com/libsoftiktok/status/1572253301940563971?s=46&t=LC3pa5HXsKT9s8Ci3uBy0Q

Censoring lewd or obscene content is perfectly acceptable. The problem is that Twitter would rather censor criticism of such content.

Imagine being so unspeakably evil that you not only fail to defend children, but viciously smear anyone who does.

Monsters like @Esqueer_ will not rest until everyone who opposes the corruption, exploitation, sexualization, and physical abuse of children has been silenced. That’s their only objective. We must be as determined to protect God’s children as they are to manipulate and maim them.

Somehow I’m stuck in coach where armrests are shared and they don’t serve drinks before takeoff. So I’m completely sober while another man’s arm grazes mine.