I guess "I'm doing well," right?

Because you never really want to know about the bad side of me.

No one asks about it.

It's almost like it's something foreign, something that doesn't belong to me.

But it does.

That's me too.

Maybe it's the part of me that most people hate. Or maybe it's simply the part of me they don't know how to deal with.

What if, for once, I said,

"No, I'm not good."

What if I said I'm feeling terrible? So terrible that my own thoughts are driving me crazy. So terrible that sometimes it feels like I can't even breathe.

And what if your answer was simply,

"Go see a doctor."

But guess what?

I'm not talking about a health problem.

I'm talking about something coming from the inside.

And somehow, those words feel so cold. So dry. So distant from what I'm actually trying to say that sometimes they make me laugh out of frustration.

Because what am I supposed to do with an answer like that?

How do I explain something I don't even know how to name?

Feeling good all the time is impossible.

It isn't real.

And if you've seen me laughing, talking, being calm, or acting like everything is okay, that doesn't mean that's all of me.