cheers x2

exteragram keeps eating messages when replying but fuck Nekogram

more women people should hear this

my favourite part of every trip is when I get shitfaced drunk and start discussing tax fraud with random people, this time train restaurant staff

there are so many ways you can legally avoid paying taxes

I'm fully legal because every tax optimization I use is fully ok and not controversial but if I wanted to fuck the system I know so many ways

at the same time I only talk about these when I'm very VERY drunk lol

7 beers in

I think

It always feels so weird when I'm 6+ beers in and the body starts to feel it but the mind stays sober

My wife doesn't believe me even I'm like this because when she's drunk she's DRUNK

meanwhile I can slur my words and still be fully aware of my surroundings

it's not a brag, I consider it a curse, I'm such a control freak I can't even tell the Jesus to take the wheel

sometimes I daydream that I walk around the town with a smartphone sticking out of my back pants pocket that is actually a fucking grenade and the moment someone steals it it explodes and takes their hand with them