Один еврей интересуется у своего соседа:
— Абрам Моисеевич! Я слышал, что вы читаете антисемитские газеты!
— Ну да, читаю.
— Но как вы можете!? Вы же — еврей!
— А очень просто. Сначала я читал еврейские газеты. Там такая депрессия, скажу я вам! Все хотят евреев изничтожить, кругом антисемитизм, притеснения, проблемы, все плачут... Я буквально спать не мог! А теперь я читаю антисемитскую прессу - и что вы думаете? Сплошной позитив! Евреи правят миром, они всё захватили, они самые богатые, они везде всё решают.
— Абрам Моисеевич! Я слышал, что вы читаете антисемитские газеты!
— Ну да, читаю.
— Но как вы можете!? Вы же — еврей!
— А очень просто. Сначала я читал еврейские газеты. Там такая депрессия, скажу я вам! Все хотят евреев изничтожить, кругом антисемитизм, притеснения, проблемы, все плачут... Я буквально спать не мог! А теперь я читаю антисемитскую прессу - и что вы думаете? Сплошной позитив! Евреи правят миром, они всё захватили, они самые богатые, они везде всё решают.
— Дедушка, а правда что большевики христиан убивали?
— Правда.
— А как они их отличали?
— У христиан на пряжке было написано "Gott mit uns"!
— Правда.
— А как они их отличали?
— У христиан на пряжке было написано "Gott mit uns"!
Forwarded from Sickipedia
A disturbing but true story about me
When I was born, my mother died and my father abandoned me. So I spent my entire childhood with my aunt and uncle.
When I was in my late teens, I stumbled upon a video that my sister had made of herself. It was then that I realized that she was really, really hot. I watched the video twice, and I probably would have watched it even more. But I had to leave home because my aunt and uncle were in trouble with the law.
It turned out that my sister was also in trouble with the law and was actually in custody. So my friend and I went to pick her up. When we did, I noticed that she was even more gorgeous in person than in the video, and my friend agreed with me.
After that, we crashed with my sister's friends. By then, pretty much everyone we knew was wanted by the government, so we moved around a lot. My friend is way better looking than I am and he has a really awesome car, so I started to sort of see him as competition.
Around that time, I was seriously injured. While I was in recovery, my sister gave me a big, passionate kiss on the lips.
After that, we went our separate ways. I was becoming extremely religious, so I never thought much of her. But then I saw her for the first time in about a year, and she was wearing a bikini. All my old feelings came back.
But it didn't matter because, soon after that, she hooked up with my friend that I mentioned earlier.
A few days later, the three of us were at a party. While my friend stayed inside, my sister and I went outside. It was very intimate, and it seemed like something was going to happen.
But I killed the mood by telling her that Darth Vader was our father and I had to fight him.
#other
When I was born, my mother died and my father abandoned me. So I spent my entire childhood with my aunt and uncle.
When I was in my late teens, I stumbled upon a video that my sister had made of herself. It was then that I realized that she was really, really hot. I watched the video twice, and I probably would have watched it even more. But I had to leave home because my aunt and uncle were in trouble with the law.
It turned out that my sister was also in trouble with the law and was actually in custody. So my friend and I went to pick her up. When we did, I noticed that she was even more gorgeous in person than in the video, and my friend agreed with me.
After that, we crashed with my sister's friends. By then, pretty much everyone we knew was wanted by the government, so we moved around a lot. My friend is way better looking than I am and he has a really awesome car, so I started to sort of see him as competition.
Around that time, I was seriously injured. While I was in recovery, my sister gave me a big, passionate kiss on the lips.
After that, we went our separate ways. I was becoming extremely religious, so I never thought much of her. But then I saw her for the first time in about a year, and she was wearing a bikini. All my old feelings came back.
But it didn't matter because, soon after that, she hooked up with my friend that I mentioned earlier.
A few days later, the three of us were at a party. While my friend stayed inside, my sister and I went outside. It was very intimate, and it seemed like something was going to happen.
But I killed the mood by telling her that Darth Vader was our father and I had to fight him.
#other